i hope you care about
me as much as
you say you
do.

Depression and bitterness are a lethal mix.

I'm too afraid to say
Hello.
To start a conversation.
But I can write
About your
Eyes
That scream
Innovation.

You made it a point to make sure that I knew how you felt and what you wanted, but I can't seem to bring myself to understand nor to think that you could ever actually want me.

He kept trying to tiptoe around the word
but I just wouldn't let him.
"It's ***, you can say it. I know what *** is."
He laughed, looked me deeply in the eyes and
he said, "Fine, ***."
I smirked at him and he coyly did the same.
When she came back into the room and asked,
"gosh, I can't leave yall alone in a room for more than 5 minutes, huh?"
I looked over at him as he blushed a deep scarlet,
and I looked down as I smiled at the ground.
One second I am bold,
and the next I cannot help but to be so shy.
What is going on?

I've allowed myself to develop a crush on him, but I know I will just end up being crushed, so why bother?

You could burn me alive, kick me in the sides, scream at me till I cry,
and I'd still be completely and utterly infatuated with your entire being.

I've realized a few things about over thinking:
Yeah, it may **** ******* *** but
You do get the truth out of it sometimes.

Like, for instance,
When you told me something that other day and
You said it was for the good of me.
No it wasn't.
You're lying.
Yeah, maybe it might have helped me from
Being even sadder but
I could've helped you overcome these things.
We promised not to and guess what?
We both broke that promise.

Saying we wouldn't do it because
The other couldn't?
*******.
It's sick.
It's like the cutting games over here
And I don't want to be in it.

You say "oh I care, thats why I didn't tell you."
*******!
How much more hurt do you think I'd be
If you would've told me first?
I'd rather find out from you than
The ******* Internet.
It's Disgusting
I wanted to cut so much that night
And I remember you naming the pros and cons,
Saying how its "not worth it"

Well,
With the things that are going on and
The secrets that are being kept
I think it's necessary.

you have me shaking..
my tongue is unable to form
a single coherent word
without slipping and saying
how much I am starting to
abhor the way you can
talk while I am expected to
be silent and all
alone.

I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that, unfortunately, I have fallen for you. The good news? Well, it's that you'll never know.

You and I
breathed each other in
and now we burn on
each other tongues
like the cigarettes that
sit between your
beautiful lips.

you never spent those love coupons i made you, guess i wasn't worth it

I want to be
Okay
But it's just
So
Hard.

Rachel, it's just weird. You're always on the phone with her... it's just weird.

Mom, dear God if only you knew how much that hurt me. Those words struck my heart and tore it into pieces. Those words broke me.

Worst part was... you knew we were talking. How do you think that made her feel? Think she felt as much pain as I did? She just so happened to come back at that moment and I had to put on a smile like nothing hurt me.

I can't take it anymore The fake smiles and the lies and the *need to feel. How will I survive this summer? Being around my family will drive me utterly insane. I can't even have you by me for one day this week just because of how afraid I am. If people can easily the signs at school, then sure as hell my Mom can tell that I have fallen for you

You have become my crutch and my dear, I am very glad it is you by my side. If only you could really be here. In a perfect world, you'd be by my side and I'd have you close and my scars wouldn't exist. The books I'd read would have perfect endings and the songs I'd sing would always be on key. And the world would be just as beautiful as you are to me.

Drift away darling... I might not be here when you wake up.

"So you're.....what?"
You looked at me confusedly and
I tried my best not to be worried about
what you might think.
This is who I am,
And I can't keep lying about it.
"I'm Pansexual, yeah."
You took a deep breath,
and then you smiled at me as you grabbed ahold of my hands.
"Tell me more," you said.
And that's how I knew I had made an amazing choice.

This is how it works in
My brain:
If I cut my hair,
I won't cut myself.
I'll take it out on
My hair and
It won't mean a thing.
But on my wrist it
Somehow means I'm
A monster.

i had to stay
after today so
i could help
another teacher
out, but im
not complaining
because through
this window,
i can see you.
smiling,
laughing,
being the
joyous person
you are.

i can tell you're
happier and
i just love that.

im trying real hard to
make it easy for me
but when you asked me
why im was always so
busy and why i
never come by anymore
i didnt know
what to say.

and yet i wonder why i
cower at the thought of
him not returning
my love,
and yet i am the
one pretending that
i never felt that
way.

Her tongue dances on my spine
and sweat glitters in the moonlight
and she lets me feel the sway of her hips
as she dances along my body.

So what I'm really tryin' to say is, and what I hope you understand
Is despite all the imperfections of who I am I still wanna be your man
I know it hasn't been easy for us to talk with everyone being around,
But this is, this is personal, this is for me and you
And I want you to know that I still love you
And I know the seasons may change,
But sometimes love goes from sunshine to rain
But I'm under this umbrella and I'm calling your name
And you know I don't wanna lose that
I still believe in us
I still believe in love
I still believe in us
I hope you believe in love
The way I believe in us

And I didn't want to be a flower, I wanted to be a ****. I wanted to always been in your heart, so that whenever you decided to pluck me out, I would come right back and infest your whole self with me over and over again.

you know the only thing worse than hate?
indifference.

Oh, oh
how you have saved the one I love
Through your words
Your songs
Your everlasting love
For those around you
And even after you.
Today I wish to celebrate you
Because your life is something
So special
That even I cannot
Seem to understand.
Please, keep my baby girl
Safe, oh
How she loves you so.
And oh,
How I love her.

Stay calm.
Everything's gonna be alright.
I think.
Maybe.
Sometimes.
****
Will I be okay?

I wish to tell him how
happy she makes me.
     But, sadly I do not know
his views on homosexuality.

I'm yearning for your
Lips right now;
To be pushed up against
Mine.
I'm yearning for your
Lips right now;
To be kissing up and down my
Spine.

When I say I love you, you don't believe me. You think you can't be loved and you won't accept love. I think that you're scared that I might stop loving you at anytime, but I won't. Now if this is the reason, then okay, it's acceptable, because at least I know somewhere deep down inside your soul that you believe me.

When you wake up to
the sounds of birds chirping from
her window through your
phone and you both
just so happen to
wake up at the
same time...
that's how you
know you're in
*love.

I want to stick a knife through my skull, because I'm so sick and tired of my own thoughts.

Every though today didnt go as planned
It went smoother at the end.
I gave you a kiss on the head,
Told you everything was going to be okay,
And you know what?
I'm so glad I did.
Because it will be.
I love y'all,
Thank you so much.

I haven't cut in so long that
I miss the feeling of
something other then
the sadness I feel
now.

if my erythrocytes change every 120 days, then I wonder if the process would be faster by opening up a vein or two, so I can get rid of some of the red blood cells instead of waiting for them to change.

Maybe I've let
Myself f
              a
                l
                 l
To hard
And now it's
Time to let
You g                   o.

He** writes,
He lives,
He is.

I just wish
I knew
Him.

I know we both don't regret it,
so I'd like to say thank you for
breaking up with me,
because it was exactly what we
both needed.

Soft ringing becomes louder. And louder. And louder.
I guess I can open my open my eyes now. I don't think about anything, not even afraid to see what the shattered world in front of me holds. So I open my eyes. It was just another mistake. I hear my mother's voice in my head, speaking to me when I was a child. It was not soothing, but somewhat scolding warnings of what can happen if you don't use caution. I remember her words, her warning. Now that I have forgotten that warning, I open my eyes, to only find the holder of that voice in a world that I've only heard of, and don't know where it could be. All I know is that the holder of a precious, cautious voice, can no longer use it to give caution.

"I’ve waited a hundred years
But I’d wait a million more for you
Nothing prepared me for
What the privilege of being yours"

"you've never been in a relationship with a guy before, so of course you're scared."*
no, you don't get it.
i'm not scared of them.
i'm not scared of men, i truly am not.
i'm scared of myself, because i tend to ruin everything i touch instead of
turning it into gold and i'm tired of being the one who breaks and destroys
everything and everyone around me.
i just wanna build and love and create and be filled with joy
instead of constantly feeling like i'm rotting from the inside
out.
is that too much to ask?

Seeing you
Smiling
Laughing
And
Enjoying life without me,
Seems like you'd be just fine.

Come look for me in the bathroom,
I plan on getting something sharp baby.
Let my blood run dry and
My heart stop beating.
Goodbye.

and I looked at you like you were a doormat that said "Welcome Home", but you only treated me like I was a bright neon sign that said **"One Night Only"

I am full of love to give, every part of me aches to give love to you. it pours out of me like a fountain pours water. my mouth aches to tell you I love you and my heart beats to the song your breath allows. I love you because I have love to give. you love me constantly and fully, which allows to give it right back to you.
I have never felt so right and in place since the day I was born, hence the reason I am staying. loving you is strong, and delicate, and I am so in love with the way you love me and I love you.

If I pinned you against the wall
and slipped my tongue
into places unknown
would you let me
discover your
truths?

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior