We end our day up on the roof
I say I'll jump, I never do
But when I'm drunk I act a fool
Talking 'bout , do they sew wings on tailored suits
I'm on that ledge, she grabs my arm
She slaps my head
It's good times, yeah
Sleeve rips off, I slip, I fall
The market's down like 60 stories
And some don't end the way they should
My silver spoon has fed me good
A million one, a million cash
Close my eyes and feel the crash

what is it?
the feeling of being loved
and knowing that
they feel the same way
whether you are dressed
or not?

i was scared.
standing there
without a shirt
makes me quite nervous.
my body isn't exactly fit
whereas you look like the
most perfect ballerina.
its not a bad thing,
i just wish i would be
a bit more... flat.

i love my body,
i just have a few things that
i know i could change.
i could eat healthier,
maybe work out more.
drink some more water than
coffee. (i sure do love coffee)
and cut back a bit.

i want to feel comfortable
in my own skin.
i want to be able to
dress how i want
without the fear of the
dress sizes or
being called those terrible names
as i once was in my childhood.

i want to let you do
the things you want to me
without me feeling ashamed.

sooner or later,
ill be completely ready.
you'll have worthy lips to kiss and
a whole new world
to explore with your fingertips.

My nightmares are
The kind that
Make you terrified to
Fall back asleep.
Make you so scared you
Can't even move.
My nightmares wake me up
In the middle of the night and
Tell me to
Do very bad things.
Sometimes they spare me and
Other times I can't help what
Comes next.

The other night I couldn't help but
ramble about the Cosmos and everything I seem to think about
when I see the world around me.
You were smiling on the camera
and all I could do was keep talking
and saying theories and smiling about
the Universe because the stars make me so very happy and so do you and
I honestly have no idea what will happen when I lose the both of my favorite things-- You and the Cosmos.

she told me that
tons of people go through
the same exact thing
everyday.
and for a second,
i felt better because
i knew someone could relate.
but i was pulled right back under
as i realized that
it means im normal.
that im not unique or
different.
im the same piece of living
(im alive right?)
plastic as everyone else is.
im not anyone special,
i am just someone
who has
a lot of
*issues.

tell me,
when you're blessed with a good day
what do you do?
do you revel in how wonderful it was
and wait for the bad times to come
or will you try your best to allow that good day
to carry onto the next day, and then the next
until it becomes a good week,
a good month,
a good year,
a good life?

honestly, my optimism is returning.
my hope in humanity is coming home.
and more importantly,
i am finding a place inside of myself that
i can call home for once.

i think that maybe this doesn't have to just be a good day,
but it can be a good life as well.

you probably thought i was dumb for looking at you like that,
but i couldn't even help it.

i can't help it.
and that's what scares me the most.

I'll do you a favor and
Pretend I never felt
Anything for you.

I'm sorry I
Talked ****.

My Aunt was hemming my
     skirt for school today.
              And as I stood on the chair
        To try it on,
     I realized the hook on the
        Ceiling could easily
     Fit a rope,
  Then I could tie
A noose and
   Put my head in
And kick
    The chair
                                                    Away.

I
Want
To
Immerse
Myself
In
You.

Everything inside of me is
Whispering your
Name.


                      *mike

never give someone the power to make you feel like you're less than nothing, because you're worth the whole ******* cosmos

She has seen me tremble
and has seen me cry
you know you're in love
and yet you don't know
why.

"As the old catechisms used to say, knowledge is a prerequisite for love."

I went that way to see you
But instead I got a better
Surprise by running straight
Into you at the door.
I fell and dropped all of my
Books and you smiled and helped me
Up and even picked my books up
For me.

We chit-chatted and we
Had a wonderful conversation and
He even told me that he
Was hoping I had a nice
Day.

Maybe I just look way
To much into things but
I'm pretty sure he wants
Me just as much as
I want
Him.

You deserve so much more than the world and I'm sorry I'm not quite ready to give it to you, but I'm trying to be. I just want to be the best possible version of myself and I sure as hell have a lot to work on and I don't want to hurt you, so that's why I'm trying to keep you at a distance. I want you to be happy and I want to be there when you are and when you're not and I just want to make you smile and *******, I just want to hold your hand and to tell you that it's all gonna be okay. But everything is so complicated and my thoughts are jumbled and my throat is so tight and it's hard to say my true feelings because I need to fix some things before I can give you what you deserve. Hell, I'm probably much less that what you actually deserve, but I'd be a lot of things if it meant that I could just see you smile again and again and again.
I just need to get through some things and then you'll see, oh honey, you'll see that I'm just trying to be the best that I know I can and will be.

It didn't feel wrong.
Touching you felt like
touching God.
I didn't know something could be so
beautiful and delicate yet
so strong and fierce.
The second I realized this,
I should've stopped
but I couldn't.
Your eyes were closed, you fingers were
rubbing my knee
and I could just tell that
you loved every bit of what was happening.
When I found the spot you loved so much
I needed to keep going.
You would've let me,
but it was the wrong place for
something so beautiful to happen.

Who knew that someone could make me
lose all sense of right and wrong?

All I want is to give you what you deserve and so much more.
Is that something you want?

with you
i am a
singularity.
i am
nothing and
everything
all at the
same time.
you make me
feel like i am
so important,
then like i am
not even
alive.

will i make the big bang or will i
be a one in a million shot like
all the other universes
were?'

I counted.
At first I thought it was 40.
Then I counted again--
42.
Then I counted again--
42.

They're burning and they
Remind me of what I cannot fix.

I called you after it had happened and while I was sitting in the bathtub in ice cold water watching the water drip from the faucet and as I let tears fall down my cheeks and as I scrubbed away what you did I tried my best to sound composed but I couldn't and that's why when you answered I hung up because I wasn't sure I could tell you of my shame and how scared I was and I was so afraid to let you in, because then you'd see a part of me you had yet to see and what if you wouldn't want me anymore because who wants a used and so severely broken little girl like me? I wouldn't be your little girl anymore and you wouldn't see me as a beautiful flower, but as a bunch of broken and dried up rose petals and there's so much more in the world besides someone like me and how could you stay with someone so repulsive I don't know I don't know I don't---

two nights ago I sobbed over you and I panicked because I can't live with the thought that I might be falling for you.

isn't any reaction better than no reaction at all?
isn't feeling something better than feeling nothing at all?

I used to think you were my
antidote but
I'm starting to believe that
You're the source of my
death.

Your eyes used to scream 'Innovation'
But now they just whisper short and
Unspoken words that means
I'm a complication.

What's the occasion?
What's with all the flowers?
Why did you bring them here,
It's not even at the hour!
"She died" he said
And he gasped with fright
And he sighed and said
"It was throughout the night"
He cried and cried
Then realized his whole
She wasn't dead!
She was just missing her soul!
He leaped with joy
Ran to her way
And opened the door
To finally say--


"I love you."

Will you let me
Hold you?
Not just you,
But your world,
Your universe;
I'd like to see it
In my hands,
In my arms,
Open...
Wide.
Open for you to be my
World,
My universe.

I'm trying to find you,
But the lights are off.

Hey, it's okay.
Want to know why?
My feelings for you are gone.
I'll remember the times we
Had
And I ll never forget them.
I'm just saying that it'll still
Be the same,
Just with less passion and
Love.

Maybe I should **** someone
or better yet, I should just
**** myself.

you always pretended to
care about me.
that it was okay
to act this way.
with you,
nothings okay.
with you,
im in the dark
because i always believed
you were my light.
you're a fighter and
the shelter i'm in
hasn't been repaired
by you like it
should be.
with you,
i know what its like
to be alone.
with you,
my heart breaks
times and times again.
nothing is okay
with you
anymore.

my blood pours and
i call to you for a rag but
you must've taken it
by accident when you
picked up your clothes off the
floor this morning.

the stars cant decipher
what i see in
you
through your eyes
i reach the heavens
in skies ever so
blue.

I have two ways I could
Ask you out:
#1-
We could be sitting under a sheet
With all the lights turned out
On my bed (or yours)
And we could be laughing and then
I'd kiss you.
We'd look at each other after and then
I'd smile and say,
"Will you be mine?"
#2
We'd about to be leaving for
Our first travel trip.
We'll be eighteen and
You'll be packing up upstairs.
I'll pull in with my car and
Pull out chalk from the backseat.
I'll sit on the ground and draw some
Words so that when you come outside
You can see them.
It'll say, "Will you be mine?" And
Have two boxes under it.
One will say yes and the other will say no.

Hopefully you won't even have to check a box because
You'll be in my arms
Crying
Laughing
And be mine already.

i used to try and
make my own arkwork but
everytime i did
i ended up with cut up skin and
tarnished hair clippings.
now i just
color in the lines of a
childrens book
and hope that
the bad thoughts
leave me
alone.

the thought of seeing you again makes me hopeful for the future, god I've missed you

I've allowed myself to develop a crush on him, but I know I will just end up being crushed, so why bother?

Those lips of
Yours
Call my name;
I just wish I could
Hear.

The sound of your
Voice
Is soothing
But it's just
Something I seem to
Fear.

i hope you care about
me as much as
you say you
do.

i've never felt more at home nor more fearful than when your hand is resting on the small of my back and when the current of the electricity between us is only bringing us closer to one another.

I've realized a few things about over thinking:
Yeah, it may **** ******* *** but
You do get the truth out of it sometimes.

Like, for instance,
When you told me something that other day and
You said it was for the good of me.
No it wasn't.
You're lying.
Yeah, maybe it might have helped me from
Being even sadder but
I could've helped you overcome these things.
We promised not to and guess what?
We both broke that promise.

Saying we wouldn't do it because
The other couldn't?
*******.
It's sick.
It's like the cutting games over here
And I don't want to be in it.

You say "oh I care, thats why I didn't tell you."
*******!
How much more hurt do you think I'd be
If you would've told me first?
I'd rather find out from you than
The ******* Internet.
It's Disgusting
I wanted to cut so much that night
And I remember you naming the pros and cons,
Saying how its "not worth it"

Well,
With the things that are going on and
The secrets that are being kept
I think it's necessary.

Oh, oh
how you have saved the one I love
Through your words
Your songs
Your everlasting love
For those around you
And even after you.
Today I wish to celebrate you
Because your life is something
So special
That even I cannot
Seem to understand.
Please, keep my baby girl
Safe, oh
How she loves you so.
And oh,
How I love her.

I'm too afraid to say
Hello.
To start a conversation.
But I can write
About your
Eyes
That scream
Innovation.

Rachel, it's just weird. You're always on the phone with her... it's just weird.

Mom, dear God if only you knew how much that hurt me. Those words struck my heart and tore it into pieces. Those words broke me.

Worst part was... you knew we were talking. How do you think that made her feel? Think she felt as much pain as I did? She just so happened to come back at that moment and I had to put on a smile like nothing hurt me.

I can't take it anymore The fake smiles and the lies and the *need to feel. How will I survive this summer? Being around my family will drive me utterly insane. I can't even have you by me for one day this week just because of how afraid I am. If people can easily the signs at school, then sure as hell my Mom can tell that I have fallen for you

You have become my crutch and my dear, I am very glad it is you by my side. If only you could really be here. In a perfect world, you'd be by my side and I'd have you close and my scars wouldn't exist. The books I'd read would have perfect endings and the songs I'd sing would always be on key. And the world would be just as beautiful as you are to me.

Drift away darling... I might not be here when you wake up.