I'm building a program to your heart
in hopes that I'll get you to restart
the feelings you once had for me
because I surely miss you, dontcha see?

I'm building a program to your heart
because maybe you'll see that from the start
you and I were incredibly close
and that I care about you the most.

I'm building a program to your heart
because I fell for a work of art
The canvas that is you is full and bright
Painted with love, just like the Starry Night.

I'm building a program to your heart
And ****, you'd think I was smart.
But I'm just a girl with a missing component
who misses someone whom she thought owned it.

if my erythrocytes change every 120 days, then I wonder if the process would be faster by opening up a vein or two, so I can get rid of some of the red blood cells instead of waiting for them to change.

the last time I felt like someone cared about me was when
we were on my bed,
laughing and rolling around and
being so close to one another.
you were trying (notice I said trying)
to tickle me and you failed miserably.
you somehow ended up on top of me and
then your warm, tender hand (the right one, specifically)
ended up holding me by my waist and
you slowly made your way up to my face as you
caressed my cheek.
you leaned down slowly to kiss me and that was the last time I
know someone cared about me.

I feel like I'm all alone in the world because I'm slowly, but surely, being
forced to shut myself out from it.
trust me, it's not something that I want to do.
but it's something that I have to do, because if I don't then
things will just continue to get worse and
I just simply cannot afford anymore heartbreak.

everyone is dead. well, not everyone.
but most of us are.
we're just walking corpses waiting for Death to take us away
from this Hell we call Earth.

*aren't we?

your stories are getting sloppy like the smudged lipstick on your face, oh honey, don't you realize that intelligent people have better taste?

All of the times spilled out of my mouth like ink on a page and I couldn't have been more embarrassed nor more relieved in my entire life.

"I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection."

lies make people cold, hard, and stiff.
they make whole people become broken pieces and
they sure as hell only cause more trouble in this already fallen world.

so don't bother lying because
it'll only hurt you more in the
end.

I hate the way I look at you...
with loving eyes and kind thoughts...
you'd think that everything you and I have done would
sway my thoughts about you or change the way that I look at you,
but instead it has only made me grow even fonder of you and I'm not
really sure how I should go about handling this.

But whatever I do, just know that I am fond of you and that
I adore you.

His lips caressed mine and it reminded me that not everyone is like you.

You're gone and while I was saddened for quite some
time over the loss of you I am
moving on more and more
every single
day.

Oh, I've heard a thousand stories
Of what they think You're like
But I've heard the tender whisper
Of love in the dead of night
And You tell me that You're pleased
And that I'm never alone

You're a good good Father
It's who You are, it's who You are, it's who You are
And I'm loved by You
It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am

When you think about it, no one’s beliefs sound any more ridiculous than anyone else’s.

the devil always comes back for his demons

they know*
Get ready for all of Hell to break loose

To all of my friends who know me
The only way to contact me is through HP
Don't even bother with my phone

My last love letter to you is coming soon; and so is the calm of the storm.

"I'm just worried about you. Please don't let any of this bring you to the point of death."

*"Hasn't it already?"

I've written many of them in the past few years.
Some were long and told the girl I loved how much I
missed her and how happy I was to be in love with such a
lovely woman.
Others were ones that would never see the light of day about
people who did not deserve to hear of my love for them because
I knew my heart did not matter much to them.
And that's okay. I left my heart with those
letters and figured out how to stop
giving my affections to
them.
But, there are some special love letters that I have.
I've given them to him. He probably did not even realize that
they were love letters though. I doubt he did.
To him they were just funny notes and silly pickup lines to
read while he unstuffed them from his pockets at swim practice.
But to me? These little slips of jagged papers were full of what I felt
for him and still continue to feel for him. Giving you piece by piece my heart through jokes and puns really has burned me now and I
wonder if you even realize the damage this burn has caused.
Guess not, but it's okay. I guess I did not expect you to.
So this is me, writing my (hopefully) last love letter
to you in hopes that all of my affections will be
put away and that I'll just be able to
move on.

That's how these things work, right?

walking up and down the aisles of
one of my favorite stores only
reminded me more of the
last time we kissed and
how it didn't really
cross my mind at
all that it would
be our last
one.

you've got a fire inside, but your heart is so cold.

maybe if I wasn't so self-indulgent,
then I'd be able to see that the
world doesn't revolve around me.
maybe if I wasn't so stubborn,
then I'd be able to appreciate the
art of taking things slow and
keeping my options open
instead of always closing
myself off to the
world.
maybe if I wasn't so lazy,
then I'd be motivated to
get better and to keep going
instead of just giving up and
going back to how I used to be.
maybe if I wasn't so materialistic,
then I'd be able to appreciate what
I have right in front of me instead of
always wanting what more and more
constantly.

you acknowledged me again today,
but only momentarily.
and as I took out my math work I could
see you looking at me in the
corner of my eye.

as quick as you look at me,
you look away just as fast.

what are you thinking?
please just say something.

You always seem to find a way to make a sunny day into a cloudy one.

Let's just pretend we don't know each other; neither of us exists.

I've quite mastered the art of unrequited love, can't you tell?

and I've always been drawn to you, but the timing has always been wrong.






                                                                                                                   it still is.

You look at me and my dormant heart beats once again at the sight of you.

i keep wanting to tell you what i think about this, but instead i keep quiet so i don't ruin anything else in my life

in matters of the heart,
I am dying.
in matters of everything else?
I'm doing just fine.

he said that he saw you at the game
sitting all alone
looking around and
waiting for something,
it seemed.
he said that I had walked past and
he watched you as you stared at me
as I walked by.
what were you thinking?
why won't you say a word to me?
i'm completely lost and
absolutely confused.
please, just say
something.

I haven't done this since the month she left.
How could I have known that you'd
affect me this much?

and soon enough, i'll be gone. you'll be gone. we'll all be gone.
i thank God everyday for the art of moving on.

i keep myself constantly busy in fear that if I'm not, then my mind will wander till it gets back to thinking about you

baby, don't let winter come, don't let your heart freeze

i'll risk whatever i have left if it means i can say what i've been wanting to say to you for so long

My emotions confuse me, yet I still know what I want.
It's the same as what I've been wanting for awhile.
I just know that I won't get it unless I try.
But even then I still might not
succeed.