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Jul 2016 · 1.0k
8w
R Jul 2016
8w
you've never truly left me, now have you?
May 2016 · 774
C I
R May 2016
C I
It feels like forever, isn't that crazy?
It feels like it's been so long,
almost like we've known each other
since before the beginning of
time.

How did I find someone like you?
I feel so lucky...so blessed
Apr 2016 · 492
born again
R Apr 2016
and we're broken and tattered and more alike than we'll ever know; but strong is synonymous with our names and the breathe that you've put into my lungs has made me anew.
You've restored my faith in not only God and humanity, but also in myself.
Apr 2016 · 449
4/23
R Apr 2016
let's go slow; so slow that we'll be falling in and out of each other's orbits forever, spinning and wishing that these circular orbits would never
end.
oh how easy it is to
fall
Apr 2016 · 520
odds:
R Apr 2016
I might lose the chance before I even have a chance to try...what are the odds of something like that happening?
the odds are not in my favor right now
sigh
Apr 2016 · 533
seventeen
R Apr 2016
will anything change once I'm seventeen?
probably not
9 days away now
Apr 2016 · 533
10w
R Apr 2016
10w
do you yearn for me as I yearn for you?
sigh
Apr 2016 · 435
4/12/16
R Apr 2016
You can only see me for what's in-between my legs, can't you?
A line that has been sticking out from my journal for awhile
Apr 2016 · 380
/
R Apr 2016
/
isn't any reaction better than no reaction at all?
isn't feeling something better than feeling nothing at all?
maybe i shouldn't have, but at least you know now
Apr 2016 · 435
That Look
R Apr 2016
The look you gave me reminded me of
when you found out about the boy
at space camp.

It reminded me of when you sent me the
message saying, "I'll call you when I get home."
And then you proceeded to angrily cry and
sob in your room over FaceTime with me and
ask over and over again,
"How could you?".

It reminded me of the look you gave me that made me realize
that I had messed up so badly.
I had ripped your heart out
and when I realized that,
I wouldn't have blamed you for saying goodbye to me
right then and there.

You didn't, and I know you regret it.
I'm sorry.
I don't know what else to say.
I'm still here wishing I had made better choices.
I'm still wishing that I had held you closer sometimes, too.
You probably regret it all.
You'd rewrite that ending, wouldn't you?

God, that look...that look.
I pretended like it didn't break my heart
but I can promise you that it
did.
you can hit me in the shoulder and scream at me to watch my step or tell me I'm disgusting for eating raw honey or saying that orange essential oils smells awful even though it's the only thing that gets me through my depressive episodes, but I still feel that tenderness for you. I can't help it. I'm not sorry for feeling that, but I am sorry for so many other things.
Apr 2016 · 436
maybe
R Apr 2016
maybe it's the idea of you that has my
stomach churning and
my cheeks blushing
and my heart
smiling.
maybe it's not.
I hope it's not.
Apr 2016 · 418
10w
R Apr 2016
10w
as frost in fair weather, your sins will melt away
Apr 2016 · 394
;
R Apr 2016
;
I called you after it had happened and while I was sitting in the bathtub in ice cold water watching the water drip from the faucet and as I let tears fall down my cheeks and as I scrubbed away what you did I tried my best to sound composed but I couldn't and that's why when you answered I hung up because I wasn't sure I could tell you of my shame and how scared I was and I was so afraid to let you in, because then you'd see a part of me you had yet to see and what if you wouldn't want me anymore because who wants a used and so severely broken little girl like me? I wouldn't be your little girl anymore and you wouldn't see me as a beautiful flower, but as a bunch of broken and dried up rose petals and there's so much more in the world besides someone like me and how could you stay with someone so repulsive I don't know I don't know I don't---
two different "you"'s in here (separate)
the "you" I tired calling is my rock, but I'm having a hard time opening up. it's so hard.
Apr 2016 · 500
I'd give you everything
R Apr 2016
if I had anything to give.
and yet somehow I still feel like I should give you the universe and beyond. I adore you.
Mar 2016 · 396
and it hurts because
R Mar 2016
you sound like Heaven
Mar 2016 · 304
God Knows I Tried
R Mar 2016
On Monday they destroyed me
But by Friday I'm revived
God Knows I Tried//Lana Del Rey
Mar 2016 · 369
A Painting:
R Mar 2016
"How can you keep that?"
                                                                    
**"I don't even know anymore."
"I still care, I guess."
Mar 2016 · 364
15.
R Mar 2016
15.
I broke your heart this morning at 8 am
and then again at 6 pm.
I have yet to stop sobbing over
how much this hurts.
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.
Mar 2016 · 456
Telephone
R Mar 2016
I'm not "your girl" nor am I "his girl".
I did not become "everyone's girl".
But you wouldn't know that,
because you're just going by
what others are saying.

Haven't you ever played the game
"Telephone", luv?
Of course you have, considering you're acting as if you're in the second grade.
Mar 2016 · 384
14.
R Mar 2016
14.
i've never felt more at home nor more fearful than when your hand is resting on the small of my back and when the current of the electricity between us is only bringing us closer to one another.
you're so handsome and so ******* confusing
Mar 2016 · 364
13.
R Mar 2016
13.
Of course you'd start to come back when you're about to truly leave.
I hate this so much
R Mar 2016
After what you did to me this weekend, you'd think I would want to die.
But, I guess it's just going to take a little while to settle in, huh?
"I feel so bad, I'm sorry, it won't happen again..."
Mar 2016 · 397
13.
R Mar 2016
13.
two nights ago I sobbed over you and I panicked because I can't live with the thought that I might be falling for you.
I'm so scared and maybe it's best if I leave
Mar 2016 · 387
12.
R Mar 2016
12.
You want more, but I can't give you anything more.
I can't give you a real relationship.
I can't give you commitment.
I can't give you what you deserve.
I can't, I can't, I can't.
You know this and you keep trying and I can't be what you want
nor what you need.
I'm sorry
Mar 2016 · 339
11.
R Mar 2016
11.
you don't just hold my heart--
you hold my lungs and my mind as well,
for you have taken not only my breath away,
but also all of the thoughts i used to have
now belong only to
you.
I'm whipped and i hate it
Mar 2016 · 337
10.
R Mar 2016
10.
seeing you made my stomach churn
and i couldn't tell whether or not it was from
the butterflies in my stomach or
if it was the excitement and the fear that comes along with
being yours
sigh
Mar 2016 · 314
9.
R Mar 2016
9.
He said that he hopes you burn in Hell,
I told him that all I wish is for you to be well.
Burn, baby, burn
Mar 2016 · 351
8.
R Mar 2016
8.
You could burn me alive, kick me in the sides, scream at me till I cry,
and I'd still be completely and utterly infatuated with your entire being.
this is scaring me
Mar 2016 · 345
3/9/15
R Mar 2016
I know we both don't regret it,
so I'd like to say thank you for
breaking up with me,
because it was exactly what we
both needed.
Not poetic, just the straight up truth, you know?
It's taken me a year to finally say it.
Mar 2016 · 524
Quote:
R Mar 2016
“He awoke each morning with the desire to do right, to be a good and meaningful person, to be, as simple as it sounded and as impossible as it actually was, happy. And during the course of each day his heart would descend from his chest into his stomach. By early afternoon he was overcome by the feeling that nothing was right, or nothing was right for him, and by the desire to be alone. By evening he was fulfilled: alone in the magnitude of his grief, alone in his aimless guilt, alone even in his loneliness. I am not sad, he would repeat to himself over and over, I am not sad. As if he might one day convince himself. Or fool himself. Or convince others–the only thing worse than being sad is for others to know that you are sad. I am not sad. I am not sad. Because his life had unlimited potential for happiness, insofar as it was an empty white room. He would fall asleep with his heart at the foot of his bed, like some domesticated animal that was no part of him at all. And each morning he would wake with it again in the cupboard of his rib cage, having become a little heavier, a little weaker, but still pumping. And by the midafternoon he was again overcome with the desire to be somewhere else, someone else, someone else somewhere else.”
---Jonathan Safran Foer, "Everything Is Illuminated"
Mar 2016 · 289
7.
R Mar 2016
7.
your lips do not taste like home
Mar 2016 · 404
6.
R Mar 2016
6.
if my smile is so "electric", then why the hell am i constantly running around this track to be with you when you can't even bring yourself to type out the simple word "hello"?
my poems as of late will be me going back and forth with myself and my feelings because i am frustrated and infatuated so I'm sorry
Mar 2016 · 345
5.
R Mar 2016
5.
"you've never been in a relationship with a guy before, so of course you're scared."*
no, you don't get it.
i'm not scared of them.
i'm not scared of men, i truly am not.
i'm scared of myself, because i tend to ruin everything i touch instead of
turning it into gold and i'm tired of being the one who breaks and destroys
everything and everyone around me.
i just wanna build and love and create and be filled with joy
instead of constantly feeling like i'm rotting from the inside
out.
is that too much to ask?
she's trying so hard
Mar 2016 · 316
4.
R Mar 2016
4.
your hands on me feel about as right and equally as wrong as my taste for both women and men is.
i don't know
Mar 2016 · 2.6k
The Great Gatsby
R Mar 2016
She described me as Tom Buchanan.
She immediately said that I wasn't violent like him,
but that I could easily be him...
I could easily show his side.
I could be brutish and abusive
and dishonest and an adulterer
and greedy and pretentious.
I could be all of those things so easily.
It's as if a switch goes off in my brain that says,
"Hey, let's be an ******* today."
I don't want to be.
I don't want to be seen as Tom Buchanan.
I don't want to be the man who hurts so many
and truly loves so few.
I want to be so much more than that.
I don't necessarily want to be like Daisy or Jordan or Myrtle or Nick or
even like Gatsby himself.
I want to be like myself.
I want to be the girl that I'm meant to be
and I know that I am not right now
nor have I been for quite some time.
I just want to be the woman God made me to be and
I'm tired of being such a catastrophe in the making and
for ruining and hurting those around me.
I don't want to be that girl.
I don't want to be like Tom Buchanan.
I want to be me...
The real me.

*...who am I?
Reading "The Great Gatsby" and I'm thinking about who I am compared to who I want to be/who I'm meant to be.
People are quick to judge, yet they rarely take a true look at themselves.
I'm tired of not looking and pretending it's all okay.
Most of my actions haven't been okay.
I guess I just think it's time to do some spring cleaning in my life, especially with myself.
Mar 2016 · 319
3.
R Mar 2016
3.
I just wish that I could hear your voice all the time.
Not really poetic, I'm just really infatuated.
Mar 2016 · 350
2.
R Mar 2016
2.
You made it a point to make sure that I knew how you felt and what you wanted, but I can't seem to bring myself to understand nor to think that you could ever actually want me.
I guess I'll find out today
Feb 2016 · 545
choices:
R Feb 2016
I'm having a hard time figuring out what is right
and what it wrong
because you and I are not necessarily wrong
but we aren't all that right either.
and I'm not sure whether or not I should give you up
before we even have the chance to try,
or if I should try because we both want to be together
and soon enough,
we can be.
what to do what to do
Feb 2016 · 344
2/25
R Feb 2016
this is what I've been wanting...*right?
everything is spinning
Feb 2016 · 359
1.
R Feb 2016
1.
on this pale yellow post-it note lies 10 hurriedly written digits and i've never felt more secure, yet so unsure all at the same **** time
im dead
But in a good way, I think
Feb 2016 · 362
Heartbreaker
R Feb 2016
So what I'm really tryin' to say is, and what I hope you understand
Is despite all the imperfections of who I am I still wanna be your man
I know it hasn't been easy for us to talk with everyone being around,
But this is, this is personal, this is for me and you
And I want you to know that I still love you
And I know the seasons may change,
But sometimes love goes from sunshine to rain
But I'm under this umbrella and I'm calling your name
And you know I don't wanna lose that
I still believe in us
I still believe in love
I still believe in us
I hope you believe in love
The way I believe in us
Heartbreaker//Justin Bieber
It'll never stop.
Feb 2016 · 463
still here
R Feb 2016
been scared and battered.
My hopes the wind done scattered.
Snow has friz me,
Sun has baked me,

Looks like between 'em they done
Tried to make me

Stop laughin', stop lovin', stop livin'--
But I don't care!
I'm still here!
still here by Langston Hughes
Feb 2016 · 265
2/19
R Feb 2016
I want this more than anything now; I need this more than anything now.
Holy ****
Feb 2016 · 347
2/18
R Feb 2016
a gun and a violin;
a chain and a clasp;
a heart and it's beat;
what will break
first?
the rose still thrives even though it's a year old (as of 4 days ago)
Feb 2016 · 268
hold tight
R Feb 2016
missing you is like adrenaline
hold tight//justin bieber
you got me stuck like crazy glue
Feb 2016 · 292
super rich kids (II)
R Feb 2016
Too many white lies and white lines
loose ends, fake friends,
they're blowing cash like
it's nothing to them.
Feb 2016 · 285
2/15
R Feb 2016
I just wish I had done it sooner.
Feb 2016 · 300
2/11
R Feb 2016
no, i've never known it, but my God, i surely know this isn't it
no, not at all, not at all, not at a---
Feb 2016 · 408
super rich kids (I)
R Feb 2016
We end our day up on the roof
I say I'll jump, I never do
But when I'm drunk I act a fool
Talking 'bout , do they sew wings on tailored suits
I'm on that ledge, she grabs my arm
She slaps my head
It's good times, yeah
Sleeve rips off, I slip, I fall
The market's down like 60 stories
And some don't end the way they should
My silver spoon has fed me good
A million one, a million cash
Close my eyes and feel the crash
super rich kids//frank ocean
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