they seem to find ways to claw through my skin
when i'm tired enough already giving advice to myself...
how can I give my words to you too?
when my mind drowns in chaos
i fill the water in bottles and my feelings fall in with it
the thought of someone holding your hand every step of the day
sitting on park benches just to be with you
slipping off your shoes when you're too drunk to function
kissing your forehead when it's time to fall asleep
and pouring your heart out into their ears
finding people who are truly there for you
are hard to find when you only have time to be there for yourself

are the lines on your wrists still glowing into the faces of the children who will never understand?
curious
they wonder
and know
you are weak

when the lights turn off in your bedroom
and the covers wrap themselves over your shoulders
around your back
you are safe, but lonely
so you drift to sleep
the lights turn on
and the groans that come from your mouth are sickening
you look sick
you sleep soundly
but the bags under your eyes get larger
packed full of regrets and things you wish you had said
truthfully, every walking animal that roams this rotten earth
is timing their clocks till their remaining days
a death that sneaks up on you without killing you
but it will squeeze your lungs
and slide it's claws through your heart
soon enough your eyes are open
your mind is awake
and people still make you angry
so much that a knife at the sides of your stomach will not fix it
and when you try to pull your finger nails off just to stop biting them
it isn't enough
no pain can reach the immensity of hate
the ghost of vengeance leads me out the gates of hell
and my hidden horns slice the necks of the ones who never took the time to stop their clocks and listen
nobody listens
to the ocean waves coming from the shells in my hair
or the cries coming from the breaking skin we call our own
or the way the cars go by without stopping to take a look outside
at the strangers walking through white snow, catching the bus just to get to a place they call home
listen to the shards and angry scissors that clamp to the fingers of little boys and girls
and the way we eat
hear the chewing of meat from the pigs that screamed
and the minds of the ones who stay quiet
f
  a
     l  
       l  
         i  
           n
              g

into a deep despair
I hide under blanket after blanket
concealing the light
now I wait
for the day
to shut off

The world is ending
You said “close your eyes“
I shut them
I saw the reflection of the burning sun in your pupils
It was the end
The fire crashed over us and we melted into each other’s hearts
...I woke up a little girl again
And my small hands touched the grass that we laid on in our Indian summer days
You said I had the most prettiest eyes
Frankly that just wasn't enough for you
I plucked the grass from the dirt
and you helped me make flower bracelets for the both of us
That was then
blown to bits by the multiplying thoughts of breaking us apart
but little one there are many steps you'll have to take
before you step on the shoes of another traveler
so I keep walking against the fire
and you walk back into the field of flames

Oh yes, i have left
a stain on my shirt
it's the blood from my heart
i must say
i didn't plan it this way
i tried to wash it away
but the red still drips through my clothes
and my fingers catch the drops
slipping them into my mouth
one
by
one
i mend my heart
with each fall my palms collects

If you stay on the bus long enough, you almost give yourself enough time to think
With each passing car and each passenger who scurries on by your seat
with all the distractions it's hard to think, but easy to write
look at the way he carry's himself brave and selfless
she doesn't speak a word as he offers her a seat
Thank you to the man with dark skin who dares to be kind.
And the lady with the loud jacket and a hat from 1950
she stares at her phone just like everyone else
we all sit here with earbuds in and headphones on
phones in our laps sitting next to the snoring homeless man
and I will be the only one writing
the only one listening
people are strange
some of us are sticks stuffed into marshmallows
or we are just twigs
one hour later as I arrive to my destination
we get off and the others crowd on
and I walk away with a new mind each time my body steps off the bus

let's look with eyes that are not our own
and
love every nook and cranny of this earth
with our small
young hands.

i will go anywhere with you..
do anything with you.

you just have to promise that you won't let them hold you down
if you want to run

you just have to promise
to kiss trees instead of boys
if your heart tells you to do so.

this name that they have branded you with
doesn't belong to you

it is not a limitation
unless  
you let it become one.

take off your clothes with me
and throw away
those keys
life was meant to be lived
without price tags
attached
to the small of your back
and your skin on sale for fifty percent off ..

and don't listen to a word anyone else tells you
unless you believe it to be true.
we are the light
and they choose to be surrounded by their own darkness.
they will not dim us
as much as they try.

silly people.

haven't they ever thought of the price they pay
when they use that piece of plastic
to buy themselves
yet another mountain
of worthless
garbage
.

what will a few
gold necklaces
and diamond rings
matter
when you're on your deathbed
exhaling your last little breath..?


why not run around the world twice
and tell your children
stories by the campfire of all your adventures
instead of passing on
some
stupid
sentimental
family airloom onto the next sorry sucker
that gets his *** dropped into this world.

it's not all your things
or your plastic faces
your cars
the things you do
or the way your treat children

it's your ******* personalities.
(or should i say lack there of)

so go
stuff your Gucci perfume down your throat
i don't want your chemical cynide
touching my skin
anyways,

i don't need to smell like a flower to be human and either do you.

go
**** your Prada bags
and your fancy cars
your homes
and your trophy wives

or if you're into that
have them *******.

i'm going to be looking down on you all from a mountain
and laughing
so hard
and
smiling so bright
that an avalanche crashes over your
sorry city
and you all get buried six feet deep in snow with all the things
you've
neglected for so long.

will you take my hand and do the same as i do..?

i'm going to
kick off my shoes
and unlock my shackles
feel the earth soak in between my toes
instead of feeling hot asphalt on my soles.

i am going to
brace hurricanes and swim against the sea
until my body gives out
from fighting
the world

and
it may be hard for you to understand why i break boulders with my toungue
or why
i don't want to go back home to the arms of people that love me
but that's okay
just
hold my hand
and
smile
like the whole world is watching


i don't need you to comfort me
when people call me a fool
or make fun  
of the things we do

there doesnt have to be words spoken between us
because
there are no words to describe how we feel

this is
what it's like to have found
your soulmate
this is what it is like
to be alive