A lonely lamppost  
it waits for the trains to wave hello
Night approaches
out scurry the roaches from under the drains
how gloomy the night is
the lamp still shines  
the moths are small
they cling to the light
anther train passes
car after car
graffiti spewed at the sides
what a lonely night
the whistle, it sings and the smoke arises
filling the sky with more darkness
It's dim now and frigid
the lamppost flickers
it rattles
the last train for the night
there is goes on the rickety tracks past the light
the lamppost soon burns out
tonight grows still

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me
but you hurt me
with all the words that pour out of your mouth
not one was what I wanted to hear
yet all of them seemed to please everyone else
you can wrap your shins up in cowboy boots and top it off with a hat
but you are not brave enough to bestride something beautiful
only because it is more powerful than you
you are weak
but somehow the lack of words you shot at me
tortured my mind
and the rest
were meaningless

the man
he knocks
repeatedly raps at the door
all through the night
tick tock
he wakes me up
don't open the door
he's a stranger
a disease
a pest
get off your knees
tip down the stairs in a robe made of silk
it's cold but it covers
slip on your slippers
the floor is cold
your hands are cold
his presence is cold, chilling

you walk through the kitchen
now you're at the door
look through the peep hole
do you see the man
the stranger
just a soul
a ghost
open the door,
slowly
you grab the handle
and turn
tick tock
your mind is turning
fists clenched to white
there
the man
he stands
intently
waiting for you to flinch
although you can't move

afraid

the man
he puts a hand to your cheek
and you choke
and you freeze
and every slit on your skin begins to bleed
somehow he has a hold on you without the force

this man
who is he
just a memory
someone to love
or the darkness you keep
hidden under your tongue
there he is
puts his lips so very gently to your ear
and speaks words ever so faintly
you cross your arms and grab your elbows

scared

or confused
the man
the monster
the beautiful figure
who is he
tick tock
quickly make up your mind
stay or go
the knocks
they continue
pull the covers close to you
stay warm
inside
a house that will only keep you safe for so long
the man
he stands
across from you
he stares
but not in your eyes
only your body
no matter how many blankets you hide yourself in
he is there
watching
and he sees past your intelligence
the man
who gave you more warmth then the mattress on your bed
knocks at your door now
every night
you were just a little bird before
now you've flown with the flock of crows
****** is what's written on your forehead
but still
he
never
goes
away.

i'm telling you now, leave.
i'll give you this one warning
before
i pull out my remington and shoot my lucky bullet straight into your heart.

too late

my boy, you're a soon to be dead man.
and me
i'm your death sentence.

make your last wish with pursed lips now.

i will do whatever i need too, to get you out of this head of mine.
i own this brain as tortured and mushy as it is
and you're merely trespassing.


you're the kid they use to shove into lockers, gone rouge.
the kid who's now well, not really a kid at all.

you hangout with the jocks these days,
go to a school full of yuppies
yeah. we all know your type and what you've turned into.

your transparent
might as well be glass.

generic.
simple.
gross.

but that lifestyle changed you into something new
and you morphed into something without a name

you were weak and
this world broke you.

that boy i fell in love with all those moons ago is dead now.

oh, well
time to go


so
here's the door.
and
there's  your shoes..

don't cut yourself too deep on the barbed wire
when you try to fit your pores through that fence


actually do

maybe then you won't come back and  will have finally learned
not to fight
fire
with
fire
and fist with fist


maybe then you won't haunt the halls in my head or the walk back home  

maybe then,
maybe.
maybe some day.

One day the sky will darken more than it has
each hour will make you numb and we turn into zombies
because day after day we die from sadness
Boredom
lost in a city full of noise
the place you call home is just a place to stay
No adventure
No beauty  
you may breathe, but you aren't living
Day
      after
              day
You may watch your child grow
grow tall while you get old
I would tell you to sail a boat across the seven seas, but you would stare
stare at me in confusion
Discomfort
you don't understand a life of freedom
No one seems to.
Day
      after
              day
You will watch the rain slide down your window
would you consider running
Leaving
Escaping
would you take me with you
and finally get it
life is a maze
but i dare you to get lost
don't follow the map, follow your feet
Day
      after
              day
you will sit in traffic
watch the news
eat your salads, then stuff pizza down your throats
you will wake up again
                                      and
                 ­                           again
But never enjoy yourself with the world
tip over the genie in a bottle and spill out your wishes
Maybe one will fall into my cupped hands
And say freedom

Spare me your words
I have heard it all
Spare me your feelings
You have spilled out enough
Here's your jar
Plop your wishes and wants in it
Send it down the rapids
Let your emotions go with it
I told you to let it go, let me be
It's time for you to smash your heart on the concrete
Leave the pieces on my door step
I will put them in my own box and drown it in the river
You will drown with it
See, this love wasn't only about you
I was pushed into it too
I will watch the light die out from your eyes
Goodbye I will say
I'm at the seventh step of grief
Acceptance.
But can I truly accept your apology?

You have welcomed me home
though i'm not able to step past the door quite yet
you've invited me in, but i still stand a vampire
i want you to soak in misery before i take off my shoes
feel how I felt for days on end
i'll untie my shoe laces and take off my coat
but i will not fall back into your embrace
quite yet