How simple are we
how simple is she
glorifying glowing wrists, soon letting his lips kiss
this is ridiculously tragic
to say the love of one falls with another
she or me
whom will you pick, dear
pick quick
because I'm going fast
this face
this body
this little voice
this mystery has left
this treasure chest has closed on up
but there never really was any gold, no answers were to erupt.
A fraud
you have skipped upon
over me like the placid lake I am

I have wanted to run away ever since I learned how to jump off a soaring swing and land on my two front feet.
I have
wanted to run away ever since I learned how to seize the night under giant trees.
I have
wanted to run away ever since I learned how to heal heartbreak.
Impossible.
oh please,
I pack my bags underestimating how far my lungs can breathe.

They boiled my bones in a crock ***
They hung me up by my two back legs
and left me to dry over bloodied graves.

They put me in the fridge for days then slapped me
on a table made for six and they prayed around me,
thanking me for my sacrifice
I never sacrificed anything.

They caught me and watched me
suffocate between rusty lines of rope, slicing my fragile fins
They put me in a fish tank, while huge eyes tapped at my face
and called me cute, though I could barely take a breath.

They stuffed me in a cage full of other sufferers
taking us out one by one,
skinning our coats for their own.

Just profit.
Just a quick bite.

This smile fades, across my pale face
when you look over at her
with your gazing blue eyes
and leave me with, another tear to cry

Oh yes, i have left
a stain on my shirt
it's the blood from my heart
i must say
i didn't plan it this way
i tried to wash it away
but the red still drips through my clothes
and my fingers catch the drops
slipping them into my mouth
one
by
one
i mend my heart
with each fall my palms collects

the man
he knocks
repeatedly raps at the door
all through the night
tick tock
he wakes me up
don't open the door
he's a stranger
a disease
a pest
get off your knees
tip down the stairs in a robe made of silk
it's cold but it covers
slip on your slippers
the floor is cold
your hands are cold
his presence is cold, chilling

you walk through the kitchen
now you're at the door
look through the peep hole
do you see the man
the stranger
just a soul
a ghost
open the door,
slowly
you grab the handle
and turn
tick tock
your mind is turning
fists clenched to white
there
the man
he stands
intently
waiting for you to flinch
although you can't move

afraid

the man
he puts a hand to your cheek
and you choke
and you freeze
and every slit on your skin begins to bleed
somehow he has a hold on you without the force

this man
who is he
just a memory
someone to love
or the darkness you keep
hidden under your tongue
there he is
puts his lips so very gently to your ear
and speaks words ever so faintly
you cross your arms and grab your elbows

scared

or confused
the man
the monster
the beautiful figure
who is he
tick tock
quickly make up your mind
stay or go
the knocks
they continue
pull the covers close to you
stay warm
inside
a house that will only keep you safe for so long
the man
he stands
across from you
he stares
but not in your eyes
only your body
no matter how many blankets you hide yourself in
he is there
watching
and he sees past your intelligence
the man
who gave you more warmth then the mattress on your bed
knocks at your door now
every night
you were just a little bird before
now you've flown with the flock of crows
****** is what's written on your forehead
but still
he
never
goes
away.

I'd love to see the world form a whole new view
Where the flowers bloomed and the trees grew
Where everything had color
Never washed out by the rain
Everyone smiled
And didn't feel pain
Because it seems as though we are more focused on sadness then our happiness
As though we'd rather hurt than to feel warmth
And maybe it's because it's more comforting to feel lonely
Because being happy would be too good to be true
But if we live like this everyday
We will put ourselves away
And won't come out
To see the light
And feel something more then a cold night
Stuck in darkness for life
So if we have a day where no tears need to drop
Maybe life won't be so tough

Dusk approaches, leaving only the wings of
loving angels to warm a cold room. To warm
the backs of grieving bodies.
Time—falls into our laps. We created it.
It is in our control.
But fingertips slide past us, too soon.
Too fast.
And the clock in the cold room
ticks with our nervous feet
Tapping faster than a heart, beating—
our minds run in streams of tears,
carving scars into our soft cheeks.
Though we still have not yet learned why it happens,
we learn to accept it
never grasping it
Just awaiting white Christmas days and passionate souls
to whisk us into an abyss of fantasy and
facades
Because in times like these, distractions
are all we need.

Settle down black bird
Broken wings can be fixed and your songs will be heard
Sad souls can be kissed and your eyes won't be blurred
Happiness is missed so your frown will be cured
Settle down black bird
the world is just beneath you

Your words shaped who you are
actions soon made their way
The tide came in and formed you
as we once stood together,
alone on the rocky sand
hand in hand
in silence we stared
Creating a shallow beast the waves did
but I will always remember who you were
Found a place for yourself
where you can swallow your guilt
behind the wreckage
that place you built
I will still watch you
crying inside
as you left me now
...to stand alone
while I repeatedly catch your fall
You couldn't care less
You don't care after all

Her skin is ripped not quite pale, but compared to the darkness that  glistens in pure silence down her wrist she is white as a ghost.
She wishes she was one. Invisible and dead.
No one could ever grab her hand again.
No more shivers up her spine because now she feels alone and empty, rattling bones inside her stomach. Heart drooping just like her baggy eyes.
She lays there. Helpless body frozen over by the icy stares they throw at her.
She just wants to be alone. Alone forever.
Oh, but it's selfish to think like this so she'll soon stop thinking at all.

I swallow my fears, trying to erase them from my life and crush them down into the pit of my hungry stomach.
I feel the crying clouds dump buckets of pouring rain onto my fragile face, waking me up with the thundering bells above.
I watch my feet dangle over the side of my bitten finger nails, hoping my own shaking hand will save me.
But with one flick I'm shoved off the only person that could stop me from shattering.

In the past you were broken
I didn't understand how much pain you were in
I didn't want to believe it
That you were hurting all the time and trying not to show it
Taking pills and cutting just to erase each day
Finally telling someone what you did
You've changed so much since the years have past
It's like those depressing times were never here
I'm glad you've changed and are on the right track
You keep pushing forward and never look back

There's something missing in these white eyes that are filled with every inch of the world. What left is there to take in but the silent sounds of ghosts moving so softly, brushing against pink ears as the hairs stand up on these cold arms. I'll stand here waiting for you to pass by me and shut my eyes closed, so they finally can be full.

I find the best way to hurt
is to inhale this precious air and dunk my head in a bathtub
still filling up.
and I can hear the waterfall
I wish to be under
as my ears go under as well,
as my tears dissipate.

he sits
down at the counter
elbows rested on the table and his nails dig into his cheek bones
a woman dressed in black, places herself on the stool next to him
they stare into the coffee mugs put under their noses
he sips the last bit
while she has just started
as he sets the check down and stands up to leave
she grabs him by the arm
and begins to cry
"don't leave"
she pleads
and he takes back his seat
puts his lengthy arms around her
says "it will get better"
without even knowing what's wrong
he's not who she wanted
but she takes the repeating words to heart
stares back down into her cup
and sees every memory
of the one she missed

Seeing happy people
how can I sit here
in a black hole
while the rest of the world is
smiling
I'm in
my own
dimension
Rolling around
aimlessly through
galaxy's
Of star dust

Diseased
soon to be deceased
toxic me
how I failed to belong to you.
Once, I followed the back of your ankles and watched your body walk away from me
though you turned around to hug and kiss the face of
the meek smile that appeared for you.
Lonely travels now
following the empty space that replaces you.

What is this place you talk about?
Grass is greener on the other side
No gray skies and the sun always shines
Animals roam the fields feeling the softness under their feet
Where is the place of greatness?
Stars visible in the night sky
The only noise are the trees talking
Sweet smell of bright flowers fill the air
This place you say is long gone.

I would not wake up to a thousand blue jays chirping into
my window
With their wings flapping and beaks
tapping,
pecking at my last nerve.
I would not wake to the sun screaming
at me,
burning the skin that
portrays me.
If I looked out past the glass, I’d
see the green of the moss tucked between the pavement
It sleeps the way I wish to.
And the garbage trucks,
who shake the floor army ants
march on
Would not wake me to see the new day
And if I opened an eye and didn’t see what there was to live for,
then my window would shatter and
the birds would lift me by their claws and
show me what it’s like to fly
And I would soar over mountain tops, but
only wonder
what it would be like to fall into the forming avalanche below.
As I fall
my head smashes into my pillow
and I would lay there until
pots and pans are struck together,
yet I haven’t heard anyone telling me to wake up.

Here we go again, the earth pulls us down.
Roots snatched our arms, pushed us through the rabbit hole and we spun like tops.
I tumbled to the ground and you toppled on me, but the demons grabbed you again throwing you far into the dirt. I watched you diminish until you were fully gone.
The monsters made me see you leave
my breathing went heavy
my heart wept
i laid inside the world as it heated me up
burning my skin off, i saw it melt
my nails slid off
my bones depleted
and i blew up in flames
until I was fully gone

My feet dance with a movement
that glides on the edges of pearly ocean waves
and once ashore, they begin to tunnel straight into
the cold sands of time.

you've lost your grip on the cliffs dangling over the earth
you've counted all the stars so now there's nothing left
you've let your love for adventure grab you by the ankles
and pull you under the waters you loved to swim in even when it was pouring down rain and your fingers froze off
come back to the world of small talk and repeating days
you'll be safe while you are young and fly away when you have grown
until then your shoes must stay on

Here, take my bag of bones and burn them
Make me disappear
Without a trace
Of my existence
You won't miss me when I'm gone
Just admit it
I'm not wrong
Bury me alive
So I can live in darkness
Just for a little while
Until my lungs fill up with blackness
And my cuts are sealed with dirt
And all I'll see is darkness
No more living in hurt
And they say and do things
That slide off my shoulder
But day after day
Those things become boulders
That block my path
from moving forward
So I must break away
Run away
Stay away
And hopefully never return

Only lies told straight into her eyes
But the truth will never come
So the lies don’t come as a surprise
When all is said and done

She picks herself up
And gathers her things
Because now she is off
To a new beginning

And she prays to a God
That isn’t even there
That she will find love
And someone will care

And if she gets lost
On her way through life
There will be a cost
And there will be a fight

But she will hold on
To little hope she has
Look out beyond
And try to be glad

Because everything she needs
Is right there in front of her
All she pleads
Is for the right words

To comfort her

So casual you are
my skin is peeling from the heat of my anger
hands turn to fists
And you see me smiling like all the good times
throwing knives into your eyes will just be in my head
For now
I pretend
to be nice

She'd wipe words from her cherry lips
with a crumpled napkin just before
she spoke
Silence is isolation when all she hears
is noise
Anxiety is a tragedy withholding
her own self
She has no poise
and confidence doesn't come easily
when she's stranded in society

Spare me your words
I have heard it all
Spare me your feelings
You have spilled out enough
Here's your jar
Plop your wishes and wants in it
Send it down the rapids
Let your emotions go with it
I told you to let it go, let me be
It's time for you to smash your heart on the concrete
Leave the pieces on my door step
I will put them in my own box and drown it in the river
You will drown with it
See, this love wasn't only about you
I was pushed into it too
I will watch the light die out from your eyes
Goodbye I will say
I'm at the seventh step of grief
Acceptance.
But can I truly accept your apology?

I'm on the ground
head buried between my scabbed knees
And tears keep pouring and pouring not stopping to breathe
I've held myself up for so long
but now the misery has caught back up to me
So all I can do is sit here in my tears and sink

The only pain
 worth feeling
   is your finger
    nails dug deep
     into my heart
      because at least
       I know you're
        still apart of me.

they seem to find ways to claw through my skin
when i'm tired enough already giving advice to myself...
how can I give my words to you too?
when my mind drowns in chaos
i fill the water in bottles and my feelings fall in with it
the thought of someone holding your hand every step of the day
sitting on park benches just to be with you
slipping off your shoes when you're too drunk to function
kissing your forehead when it's time to fall asleep
and pouring your heart out into their ears
finding people who are truly there for you
are hard to find when you only have time to be there for yourself

His hands scraped upon my leg
as he desperately seeks for closure
but I see drool dripping from his mouth like a begging dog
and roll my eyes at the way he talks so passionately about himself
I guess I was fooled once again.

Rest your head, depression.
Wake up with the intention
to live.

you'd think she'd know by now
maybe him too
the differences scratching at the end of they're tongues
we're bound to jump out when the silence creeps in


boys and girls
fit together perfectly
until the puzzle pieces go missing
through the vents of another ones heart
I tried
we didn't
he knew a bouquet of flowers
could never, would never
sow up a love that soon might tear apart

one after one
the pedals
she'd pluck
like she pulled out her hair
...fell

does he love me?
does he love me not?
she pulled the flowers off
"forget me nots"
but he forgot her

Poor little girl
drenched in the rain
watching him
now a stranger
a warm body to another

By this time you held a rusty hand
who's holding up your dreary mind
a dark one
an old one
this hand that wouldn't crush your thinning bones
but catch your tears before they spill against your toes
It'd take you somewhere far
Somewhere your dreams could never fly you to
A breathtaking dance
from the worn out hand
But every time, it slipped past your palm
left you falling off the rocks
and you were left with just a simple broken hand

You have welcomed me home
though i'm not able to step past the door quite yet
you've invited me in, but i still stand a vampire
i want you to soak in misery before i take off my shoes
feel how I felt for days on end
i'll untie my shoe laces and take off my coat
but i will not fall back into your embrace
quite yet

She hurts everyday
Doesn't show it
Doesn't try to get help
Put's it off
Every single day,
wakes up to a new scar
Still doesn't get help
She has opportunities
But won't take it
Little by little
Throwing herself away
Still won't get help
Talk to us
Everyone around you wants to help
If you just let them
Doesn't think we care
We do
But still hurts every single day

An imagination can take you far, past the clouds and beyond the stars. But no matter what fantasy you let your mind go to, the world will just never satisfy all of you.

Photographs,
like drawings on inked skin
the colors fade
as you get older
the days get younger
and the nights get colder
so hold your breath
as agony ripples through your body
don't reach out for sustenance or guidance  
because these photographs are all that's left

She drew her arms out to the crowd
the creatures pulled her in
Simply beauty, make no sound
the forest is seen within

Trees stood high
the yellow birds flew
She stared at the life
and the wild woods grew

A lonely lamppost  
it waits for the trains to wave hello
Night approaches
out scurry the roaches from under the drains
how gloomy the night is
the lamp still shines  
the moths are small
they cling to the light
anther train passes
car after car
graffiti spewed at the sides
what a lonely night
the whistle, it sings and the smoke arises
filling the sky with more darkness
It's dim now and frigid
the lamppost flickers
it rattles
the last train for the night
there is goes on the rickety tracks past the light
the lamppost soon burns out
tonight grows still

They brought you here, ****** and weak
your body shook and your eyes leaked
They brought you here, without a say
your mind wondered as you went through the day
They brought you here, when the sky grew cold
your fingers trembled, but you did what was told
They brought you here, just to follow the herd
your face grew pale and your emotions soon blurred
They brought you here, to live true to yourself
you soon understood and they just want to help
They brought you here, and the sun finally glowed
your words became strong and your smile was shown
They brought you here*, to be who you are, climb over mountains, and land upon stars.
The world swirled around you throwing bombs at your feet,
until you saw a new life that could match your own beat

he wastes
no time,
finds
no light
in the sun,
quiet tempered,
feels the temperature rise within.
that blazing star holds
no importance,
no longer.