we are the refined
the delicate, the rarefied
the genteel, whose words
are etheral and our thoughts
exclude all things physical

for us the ideals, the pure
the clean and the pristine
conventions suit us best
and the unquestioned
fits us like custom-made gloves

our lives are regulated
there's something in it
for each of us
we have all the answers
and for sure, we are the ones
going to Heaven

couretsy marks our birth
and everyone walks about
with the Dictionary
of Respectable Words
when we kiss
we don't exchange fluids
and when we have ***
we are dispassionate


we bring civilisation to the world
and we sunbathe in idyllic beaches
and we plan to tour the moon soon
we are tourists really all our lives
and when we are not, we polish our cars
and bemoan the State of the  Environment


we are the refined
the delicate, the rarefied
the genteel, whose words
are etheral and our thoughts
exclude all things physical

Poet A and Poet B
sat down to a competition
They had to improvise lines
ending in Timbuctoo

And so Poet A improvised with most
elegant and mellifluous voice:
O let us go over the vast oceans
and seek the exotic,  the mysteries
O let us trudge through harsh lands
till we reach the fair and distant Timbuctoo

And Poet B extemporised:
*Tim and I met three fair maidens -
we were eager and they were game too
so  I bucked one and Timbuctoo!

my wife is stupid -
that I found on our first day -
she loves poetry

I have no books at home
and the closest library
is mountains away;
and she sold my prize-winning cow
on her second day
for a book of poems -
that silly cow!

But I did nothing
nor will I berate her
for truly I vowed at our local church
to love her for *butter or verse

you know Poet Archetypal -
everything about him
was Poe-tickle
When he sneezed
he said: Haiku!
When introduced
to someone,  he'd say:
"Haven't we met-a-phor?"
He's quite resourceful
like he'd introduced himself to the girl
because he wanted to meter
When he took his leave he'd say:
"Love to stay - but it's getting a-lliter-ate"
And sure he met Luke Skywalker
and said to him: "Met-a-phors with you"


It was fun having him around
but lately he's been in prison
for driving without poetic license;
and also because his creditors pursued him
because he just Ode so much

it just hit me
how dead
snail mail is

Going on this trip
I told my grandson,
with measured exaggeration:
“I’ll send you a letter
the moment I get there”

“Yes, send me an A,”  he said

Mapel retired, and felt old
within a week;
and so she went for a walk
and in the neighbourhood
she saw an old man on his rocking chair
at his porch
yet  seeming young

And so Mapel asked:
"What's your secret
that you look so young
and sprightly? "

And the old man replied:
"My secret? I smoke daily
and drink countless glasses
I eat no vegetables
and meat is all I put in
Exercise is unnecessary
and watching TV is better than sleep"

"How old are you?"asked Mapel
amazed...

*"Oh, I'm twenty-five"

I came out of my consulting room
and there seated in the corner
was a patient - a man with a frog
growing out on top of his head

"Oh my God!" I exclaimed
to the monstrosity
(dropping my usual doctor's reserve)
"How did this happen to you?"

And the frog replied:
*"I don't know, doctor!
It just started off
as a pimple on my ****!"