There is a distance which has been crossed
A frown that has been replaced with a smile
And yes
I can honestly say
This time
I will allow myself
To partake in all the love that surrounds me
I will allow myself to be loved
By another
Because
This time I love me
I love my imperfections
Just as you did the first time round  
But this time I'm ready
For raging emotions
For storms and ships that sail away
Not really knowing where they are going
But just knowing for sure
That where ever we come to ground
We will be there together

You held me closer to your  skin than felt comfortable*
Come on we are only passing strangers
There's no need for all these niceties
Pass me a cigarette and be gone with you*
The moon is high and I'd rather be alone with my thoughts of who you might of been

Sober for a change
I wipe your sweat from my brow
Too close brother god dam you
Did I say you could come that close
Pushing through my barriers
There's such a thing as personal space my friend

Do I want to join you for a drink
I don't think so
Yep I may have called you friend but that doesn't make you my family
My brother
Hell in just a moment I'm joining the other wanderers on the road to oblivion
Until then speak your truths
Tell no lies

I see you hide behind eyes of ice cold blue
The hues are amazing
But they aren't enough to catch this heart
Not on a night like this anyhow

Ok so your cultured and refined
Behind your grey shaggy hair and your hair spiked chin
Your breathing is shallow upon my skin

Why do you try to touch my soul
Do you really think there's anything left
I've been bleeding on these god dam paper sheets for years now
An obscure poetess from the other side of town
No body notices me
Not until now that is I guess

You deal
Ill win
I always do

You stand silhouetted in the light of the window
I'm sure you were once a handsome soul
Something like loneliness lines your brow
A feeling of need arises in my chest

You are an angel of darkness
And so I let you stay
You may wander my corridors a while if you desire
What be it you desire my way wood friend
You touch so much more
And words will not give away the secrets our bodies hold

Sleep fast on pillows of Egyptian cotton
Crisp white sheets
Blood stained
By my poets hand

Tomorrow you will run wild
Beckoning for your freedom
The silhouetted man with a need for a connection

*Spit me out quick
Before your words fail you

As the morning of my life ends
And childhood seems so far away
The afternoon splendour greets my senses
Beckon me forward
Else I will willingly stay within my embryonic state of childhood dreams
The poets who have written across my sky are lying down to rest
The darkness has engulfed them for one last fight
Warriors of the night
Lost in the darkness of the days realities
Will they still be dreaming
Of worlds within
The ones they could never quite touch
Bathsheba left first in a puff of smoke
She was a time lord
A mystery
But she sold her dreams to the darkness
And reality  hit hard
Sweet Paddy to meadows of golden corn you fled
A soul to true
A poet so wise
Writing of you brings tears glory to mine eyes
I see you
I sense you
Sitting by side the flowing brook
Richard he left
Contemplating what his life was all about
Hello poetry
Was sinking and he needed to find an escape hatch
Funny how our poetry lives mirror us so well
But then I guess his bleeding heart
Was swelling and needed to exploded
I still see the ghost of a man I used to call friend
But reality must be sweet
For never an ear do we lend
Jp caught a train
Probably he is stuck in some obscure hotel room
Up to his ole tricks
Or just travelling the journey of his life
Whilst holding onto his sanity
Who knows I hope maybe to see him sometime
I do like a good train journey
You never know who your find along the way
Bill with his dog name bear
I sent him emails but he doesn't reply anymore
Last time I heard he was happy in love
Im hoping this soft soul has found all he needs and is happy

As the reality ***** the life out
And the darkness lets go
They find the light
Or they loose the fight

When I hear that your leaving it makes me emotional at a root level
A soul level
A god dam
Here goes another one level

But its ok
I leave for months
I leave for years
You know I'm still here
You know we breath the same air
We look at the same moon
Smile at the same stars
This is what a soul connection is all about
We are here to be connected
And that connection
Will not waver
Distance
Sight
Nothing

The emptiness is full of the words of poets
Spoken
Dreamt
Thought
In our lives we create something so dark so  beautiful
Only the poet would understand
Though the mortal man of reality
May touch upon and live our words for a while

In the earliest hours of tomorrow
I came to steal the hour before dawn
To rejoice in the holy sanctity of silence
In reality all is part of all

The wind is howling
Rain lashing down
Upon pain of glass
So fragile in existence
And yet protecting
Much like a skin
Protects a master

Silken threads of remembrance
They held you this time
Like never before
They have lost
The will to journey forward
Now they can not look upon you in body
I hope your spirit flies
Between the absences they feel

Poets speak
Painters paint
The greatest of artists
Stroke their brushes across the sky
In union with the sun
And lower themselves
Feet in soil
Hearts wide open
Pain glittering like a golden thread
Hold memories within this moment
For the memories are pure

Hold onto the place
In the silence
We see more
And yet
Do we ever really get to understand

Watching boats go by
Sailing on
Catching butterflies
Only to let them go
beckoning for freedom
We allow them an escape
In spirit we are the same
And in spirit you will fly
like never before

Perfect soul
flying free
Stormy night
In silence and in rain
I sit thinking
In thinking I sit in silence

Muse
Mine Muse
You have been gone such a long while
What beckons you forth this night
Of all nights?

Whisper beauty
Speak the truth
Lies just hide
Your miss spent youth

Muse
Awhile
Walk by my side
So long you've hidden
From mine eyes

I feel you here
I almost can touch your breath
A coldness
A warmth
A renewal of faith

Muse
Just walk in silent reflection
Upon mine life
I have no direction

Have a little faith
I never left your side
From your soul
you were surely trying to hide

Winter wonderland
Barren
Forlorn
I lift my head
I feel your warmth

Take my words
And heed them well
Lest you fall under
Your own spell

Listen for me
In the midnight hour
In the silence of the night
Within your golden tower
Listen for me
As the crisp snow cracks
Or the water beckons
Or the sun plays on your back
Never to be gone
Just quiet for a while
Because life needed you to live
your reality
Before allowing you to smile

**I will always come back to you, as you will always come back to listen eventually

Tranquil moments alone with the silence
Escaping from the noise
Which seems to be constantly buzzing around my head
A  sign
Obscure in meaning
And yet needing to be placed where the multitude can take heed
See me coming and hide for cover if you wish
Silence echo's like a distant drum beat
Where you find your peace you will also feel your soul
Breathing
Silently without a murmur
Breathing in time with it all
Breathing
Your way home
To the silence within

My tears flow back to the sea
Whilst my soul aches
and my hands shake
across keys which make words
into more than just a moments thought
Keep me safe here
Hold me tight
Because I thought I was safe
My heart hurts and I want someone to hold me close
Just for a moment
disguises  are falling apart
I will no longer lie to myself
I stretch my love across time and distance
I held on too tight
To something I had already turned to dust
The horizon is screaming me forward
Please release me
Please let me go now
For what more am I doing
Being untrue to myself
I loved you
But I never gave my all
Because I wanted to hold on to my senses
I held you
But in the back of my mind
I didn't let go long enough
To trust you
We never saved each other
We never shared our tears
Our fears
You never really knew me
Denial is such a suffocating condition
In this moment I realize
There's no one who needs to let go here
But myself* ....

Briefly I catch a glimpse of your reality
The ripples of your self confessed desire
Shimmer on in my thoughts
Heaven only knows
Where your angels lie sleeping
Whilst your demons never seem to rest
A moment
Is all that is taken
A tear
For a worthy apponent
Who fell short
And who couldn't find the strength
Or will to carry on
Holding against my breast
The picture I took
You were laughing at some obscure
Remark made about life in general
Your outlook blinded by the ripples of circumstance
I loved you then
As I love you now
Yet I have lost that hollow emptiness
That threatened to swollow me whole
Peaceful summer evenings
Drinking rose
Remonising on lifes finer qualities
Under willow trees
That no longer weep your name
Seem to hold the dreams of lovers yet met,
Poems yet written and days not yet spent
Life is only good when we believe
So believe my friend
In dreams
In hope
In beautiful horizons laid bare
I will see you there maybe
In futures warm embrace
Amongst words
Within dreams
The essence of life holds me
Lifting me higher so that I May see reality
As never I saw it before

To savour an essence so sweetly laid bare
To hold for a second the dream lost
Sadness flows freely from glass eyes
As hearts break
And the world looses the bravist of heros
Warriar of time and place
It is time to travel to worlds new
Body broken
Spirit intact
Love left to lye in hearts so golden and true
Will never fade upon this earth
It was a pleasure
To have broken bread
And laughed a little in your smile
Farewell
Au revoir
Stretch your wings
Peace be with you

Battered emotions
Are not weighed
Against
This storm of distruction
Where to go from here
A nightmare come true

As angel wings carry you home
Sweet soul
Linger
In memories
Of golden dreams and hopes for the future

Pain
Dives into hearts
Pinning every emotion to the ground

Hold tight sweet child
Strong in soul
But weak of body

Hell knows me
Please release me from your grasp
I need to touch heaven*

I need to see you get home safely

I rise above the mindless mutterings
Of the fools who think gossip and folly
Is the way to enlightenment
But still I feel
The consending minds
Judging the world
That to myself
I am so grateful to  part of
Let us smile and breathe in moments of understanding
Whilst being mindful
For our people

We were never anything more
You took my trust
And stampled it to the ground
We were nothing more
Than a wanting
An unsatisfied plea for help
You touch upon
That place within
I never told you
How I really felt
You were too busy falling for fools
You were too busy pulling me down
The time you threw me in the gutter
The tears mingling with puddles of remorse
The stab of failed friendship
I loved you
For all the cruelty you dealt me
Broken hearted
Now I never fall so hard
Tears never fall
Mirrors only reflect scars left from warfare
That way
I managed to keep my head above water
I am my own life jacket
So swim or drown
I know I made my choise
It's good
When you know your armour will keep you safe

I run my fingertips
Through fields of gold
Touching on the edge of your reasoning

Blue
A moment of sadness
Or the colour of tranquility

Ripping skin
Painful memories
A distance
A time that has slipped away

Single handed perfection
An artist of words
play with fire if you will
for tomorrow
My voice will hold the
Fire of a molitude

If the illusion of life ways you down
Hold fast
For we can never know
When life will deal an ace

Be ready to paint grafitti
Across the sky in the hues of your emotions  

*Let there be time to fly just once before we die

I flick through memories
Like a crumpled dream revisited
The sword dips and twists
Twists and turns
Where there is a forgotten face
There is an angels cry for comfort
I will hide my face in shame
Addiction to love
The poison flowing freely
As the sun blinds
And my heart pumps venom to vertually every
Cell within this bio world I live in
I secretly cry in corners
But all you will see
Is my indifference
My detachment
My symbolic denial of truth

I like writting dark blood curdling poems
Thing is
Big problem
I'm just a little too happy right now

I didn't need reminding
But you told me all the same
Great friends
What a laugh
I laugh
Then fall screaming
I never stopped hoping
I went through those old letters you sent
Summer nights
Sweet perfume filling the midnight air
Toes playing with the surf
As the breeze sweeps my hair
Back from my face
Captured in a photograph
I look so young
So free
So in love
Yet
So vunerable
Lines of love bleed onto the paper
Time never heals
It just sends us divertions
To cover the truth
It's hard to believe that young girl is me
I see myself differently
Through eyes that lost the tinted glass
Remembering
To replace the past where it lays
I move on to tomorrow
Then beyond
Life is sweeter
Life is worth living
Sleep now comes

Letting myself truely live
Was the greatist gift I ever gave to myself

Obcessive
Obcessed
Incircling the lines on the wall
Where I see u carved my name
Don't hold back now
Rip for rip
Head to toe confusion

Pain pumps its self around my vains
Obcession
Depression lurking
Hurtful
Keep pushing
Explosion
Corrosion
A bitterness on lips so sweet
Total nightmare

Daily I think much too much
About you?
Never

freedom came only when I released and let go

Smiling
Letting go
Totallity of all things

Simply delicious
Blood tasting like honey
Thirsty for a recollection
Time flies don't you think?

I don't crave the truth
The one I shall find
Beneath your velvet brown eyes
Bidding on life itself
Time flies  when in the company of strangers

Turn away before you find what I had hidden
Only my truth is illuminated within
Without my heart
I am nothing
Time flies when your soul is yearning

Truth
You wouldn't know it if you saw it
If you could feel truth how would it feel?
Hold your pillow against your cheek
I hunger
And yet
Time still flies

Feathers cascade downwards
Forming a soft pile
Of unspoken moments
Touch me with the truth
That however fast time flies
There will always be a time for us

Forgetfulness makes me weak
Illusion makes me dream
Time
Well time will tell
If this circle of events will ever come full circle
Leaving me spinning,spiralling downwards

Conversation has become somewhat stifled
Communication is tiresome
Company of sorts
Disguised as friendship
Hollowness
A void beckoning for fullfillment
Look closely
Who we surround ourselves with
Creates not only thier destiny
But that of your own sweet soul.

It feels quite numb
An incomplete moment
A recollection of a breath upon my skin
Makes me smile
As still the tears are rolling down my cheeks
Hold on fast to the dream that flows from desires
That stem from hearts
Misted only by ivory towers
Feeling numb
Has become
My new way of handling tomorrow
The only way in which
I've learnt to hold up my head
And smile at the sun
Which often times
Threatens to scorched my very existence

Breath
Relax
Don't forget to breath
Hold on
Breath
Don't forget to relax
Going within
Don't forget to breath
Drowning in your own minds manifestations
STOP
Hold on
Relax
Breath
And recreate
Never forgeting to breath in life
And breath out your frustrations

Crystals falling
Hues forming
As light reflects on broken windows
Derelict houses
Empty
Lost for words
Naked
The fool may fall to his feet
Face in dirt
Or he may rise higher
Knowing
The air is freasher
And there really is a crock of gold
For the taking
All he needs to do is look within
Once he finds his truth
Breathing will once more
Be something that comes naturally

Remember
When I kissed
Your naked soulfire
Gently caressing the time
We spent between moments so fragile
Like porcelain dolls
Fragile in their meer existence
Capable of splender
Or distroyed
Crumbling to dust
Time has come full circle
Meeting in my dreamtime
Shades of a new horizon
Exquisite upon the ivory keys
A melody of life yet born
And yet so silent is the tune of my love
Bare not a scorn
For past illusions
I lay soulfire naked before your throne
Pheonix rise to meet your challenge
A myriad of emotions freefall
Landing upon your eyelids
I may put fear where fear is unwanted
But remember
Your soul is beckoning you
To be all that you can
So in letting go
You are merely
Recognising
Yourself
Within the illusion

I held the glass
Lipstick stained
Thoughts running wild
fragmented moments
and faces in mirrors
We will never be the same now
Years have passed us by
Friends are no longer here
To warm our nights
When I wonder
Did reality take over?
We may never know
So tomorrow when you look into the mirror
Remember
And look beyond your shadow
We are still standing like ghosts
Holding the part of you
You couldnt hold onto ....

Be I worthy
To hold my head above the clouds in your eyes
In a sky blue horizon
She sips nectar with the
Hummingbird queen
In moments of gentle surrender
But still I ask
Am I worthy
To watch upon thee
In these moments so sublimely tender
Spiraling tears of court room jesters
To old to perform
To young to die
Be I worthy
To hold the jewels which bind thee
To the ground
With which you freely walk
See her watching the waves
Which beckon her fate
Sweet necter of a dawn so new
Crystalised in the breathe of angels
Breath upon my cheek before I fall
Sweet mother of life itself
I be worthy
I have never been so sure

Place the tip of your finger
Upon my lip
Kiss all that I am
I will breathe in our tomorrows
For I see you waiting
Quietly
Never making a movement unneeded
Responding only when asked
Kiss her brow
And say I'm truely sorry
But you can not be hers
When still your lips hunger
For the passion which is ours only
Holding on
Is hurting
Doing what is expected
Making do with moments of Bliss
When what you need is moments
Of this love we shared
So sort out
What you need to once more be free to choose
Messages are all around me
I feel you
Closer
I wait
I am ready
When the moon is high
Beckoned by the sun  to stay
In the sky just a little longer than it should
The magpie message
Will be recieved gratefully

Within the reflection of winter
I will send
The moon to watch over
Whilst you slumber perfectlly
Silver rays reach upon your pillow
And kiss you peacefully
As your dreams lay your soul bare
The sun to light your days
When moments become dark
And you find yourself
Alone within the stepping stones called life
I plucked stars from the sky
Did you see them disappear
Only to return
They will be a reminder that
By pinning your hopes and dreams
Into the weave of the universe
Then at last
You shall find peace
Between the moon ,the stars and sun
There sits understanding
Sipping tea with farther time
Creating dreams to blow your mind
Warm breezes brush your cheek
Another time
Another dream
Another lover
Another scene
From a sketch of a play
We forgot the lines too

Shivering energy
Running riot
Trying to hold on
Wanting so much
To pick up the phone
To tell you
That I can live without you
But its not my Desire
That I can hold on stronger
But I do.t feel strong
Tears falling like diamonds
Priceless moments
Left behind
I fell
I stumbled
But I will not give in to
The feeling of hopelessness
Which threatens
My senses

Knowing that soon
We will be one
Within the breath
Which we call life
A connection tied
A moment promised
Summer will see our love
The scent
Upon your skin
Reminds me
Oh how I longed to be
Once more held captive lookking into
The mirror
Looking into self
You see
The dust has gone
The fire of damnation has subsided
Into a nothigness
So complete
I trust in all that love is
I move around you
Encircling
Moving forward within
And to you
Treasures are glittering
In moments yet to be lived

So back again
Walking the shadows of sleeplisness
This time
Tablet in hand
An answer maybe
But not the one you may assume
If only you could read my mind
Probably best not to
Confusion has taken up residency of late
Such a strange moment
When technology astounds us once more
And words change their meanings
Ok I'm waffling
Sleep comes not fast
As the wind hounds bark
And the silver moon plays havoc
With my instincts
I would walk the moors
But there are no moors around here
So in dreaming I must excape I guess
First to down this tablet
Technology
And I don't even need water
Infact I'll just place it on the bedside table
That's all there is to it
Once I've switch it off that is.

When finally I stood still
Long enough to raise my head from
The level of the pavement
I saw feathers falling
White as snow
A call of angels
Come to.lighten my step
Things are looming
Closer than feels comfortable
The full moon leaves my stomach turning
And my emotions realling downwards
Get ready for a crash landing
But asking for help
Maybe my calls for help
Have been answered
Maybe white feathers have come to comfort
A bleeding heart

Consuming denial
I feel like a ******
But know there is no silent release
From the pain running a riot around my body
A touch
A smile
A meer recognition
Of what you've done
But no
For you
Running in the opposite direction
Not admitting to the truth
Is far easier
She isn't me
She can't ever be me
So when you turn looking
Don't expect to see me smile
But you know
I don't believe for a minute
That this love affair is over
But then I would have to admit
And a ****** is a ******
Whatever the drug

What is your concept of broken
A man's mind can become fragmented
Sometimes one glimpes the illusion we live in
Only to retreat into the blindness
They find comfortable
Controllable
I have lived with many a broken man
But they taught me well
I found my strength
I realised
That though we seem torn apart
Broken hearts bleeding for comfort
We are all just where we are ment to be
Manifestations of our inner worlds
Tears fall
Skin is cut
Suicide brings comfort
A soul spurs towards the light
As unbroken
As the day it stepped upon this earth

Holding small reminders within the moments after
Frail in our own existence
Laid bare now
You have seen my darkness first hand
There is no more to me now
Self respect crumbled in pavements travelled by many a stranger
Satin touch of the purest existence
Madness holds me close to my godself
Madness frees me from my illusions of this world
There is only love which exists
Some love to love
Some live to write of love laid upon the shore
Some live to fight , to ****
Love is all there is when faced with self denial
Hold me within the softness of rose petals
But when you drop me
The thorns will make me whole again
Blood red
Beautiful
Happy to be alive within
Even if to you all
You only see a broken frame

Tracing your outline
With my fingertip
Becomes harder
When memories lapse and
I no longer remember your face
Then it really is goodbye for the last time
The dust that sits upon my finger tip
Knows where Im headed
And why I could no longer suffer
for your peace of mind

Today I came back to the old poetic grounds
wandering at will
I found myself beside a river bed
There was a old man fishing
The trout was rising high
And he had a smile upon his face
He turned to me
And I knew he knew
Why do tears still roll
I never knew you
I never looked into your eyes
But you gave us a mirror
In which we could look into our own souls
You gave us a river so we could gaze into your heart
You gave wisdom
You gave friendship
You gave so much  
I will wander back now and then
If not to just sit beside your river
And dip my toes
Into my memories of a poet
Who is now dancing with the stars