I go out for coffee
to see the display.
A dozen glass cases
Faces polished,
gleaming wares-
People eating their gaze
to divide the public air.

You must be polite when sharing space.
Beware of sliding eyes
too slow, too fast, sideways.

I come to these places
to be seen
to find coy reservation

But mostly I come
to steep ***
And brew tension
This my coffeeshop menagerie
Where I wish to be the voyuer
And you the view.

Perhaps it is the caffeine
but I feel a quickening,  
a fogging of thought
sensing you there.

So I'll test my tea
boost immunity,
Break glaze my glass shield,
burn and remember
I can't disappear.

Yours-
an earnest stare
refracting
my glass-eyed fear.

skin polished
with oils, salt and husks
i gleam
with perfumed butters and musk
silken smooth flesh
like living warm honey
i languish
in the golden light of dusk
limbs naked
under silks and plush
i wait

i wait for you

The last thing I ever thought I would do was try to make you cry.
Obviously being at college made me step back and look at things.

I realized how stupid I was, how I sacrificed my loyalty to my family to try and make you smile.
I know it was wrong
You know it too

I may have meant the things that I said and I never had really wanted anyone but you to see it.
I know it was harsh
I know I made you cry
I know.

I meant what I said
I’m still mad
and I still resent you
but I made you cry

I apologize for that

My one and only mission in this life is to make people happy
To make everyone’s life easier to live
I failed that goal
So miserably that it even made me cry.

I don’t expect forgiveness
I’m not even asking for it
I just want you to know that
So please know that

I love my sister, please leave her alone.
I love my family, don’t talk about them.
I love myself. I think you get the picture.

I loved you. At least I think I did.
I can’t seem to remember why though.
It could have been your smile
your laugh
your hair
the way you acted like you didn’t care about anything
how much you reminded me of myself.

Or maybe I was just mistaken.
I like to think it was that one.
I’m sorry, just know that.
I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

The light is like a spider.
It crawls over the water.
It crawls over the edges of the snow.
It crawls under your eyelids
And spreads its webs there--
Its two webs.

The webs of your eyes
Are fastened
To the flesh and bones of you
As to rafters or grass.

There are filaments of your eyes
On the surface of the water
And in the edges of the snow.

The Pizza calls my name.
He whispers, "come to me".
He tells me to eat him.
But, I being noble say, "No, I am on a diet".
He weeps, and weeps, no one will eat him.
He tells his peers, onion and cheese, I am a coward.
I say, "No, I am not", as I begin to eat him.
As I finish him, he gives out a deathly scream.

Dreams flaire brighter than any daylit sky
Some of them talk and laugh and cringe and cry
Rising over our dark horizons, a phoenix of the mind
Though the hotter they burn, the sooner they die

What do you write about when you're empty?
not
a depressing,
a dreary,
a crying empty.
Just
a sitting
a wondering,
a being.
Not content,
not needy,
just neutral.
When that spark eludes you,
when the profound refuses to
scream and scratch
at the borders of the mind,
What do you do?
Maybe strike pen to page in defiance
or just simply think,
maybe go for a run,
or simply drink.
When you're neutral
options are open,
all open.
When you're neutral,
you're free.