I let go too soon, of these three fingers
pinning a white dress to my knees,
such a strut they possess, and psychic
for the waggle I do on my tulip-days:

mama said that the lace came from an
elves’ head, I could not wear it.
I put it in a dresser drawer, as I lost
my appetite for marriage and friends.

She said that father wanted to see it,
I should parade my red, pulsing veins.
A torpedo, it became, cowering until
liftoff  and glory hallelujah first kisses.

Was it not funny when I, poor chap,
kept garbage in my teeth and laughed
when you slithered your tongue inside,
like Friday penetrating the weekend?

You are a Leo; I am far from such, but
I understand why you may be insulted,
as mama garbs turquoise as the sky
and all our daffodils burn like rubber.

Each says it is because they love me,
railing cat-scratches with a stitch –
but I do not want that, see earthquakes
that hammer on  our tulip-days, dear.

even if you don't care
even if you never did
just talk to me
no excuse
no new starts
no one last times
just let it end
let me go
like we should have a long time ago

I forbid it to leave.
Even as my eyes water
Even as the coughs erupt
Even as you tell me that's enough.
You, of all people.
I hold my breath and never let it escape.
I let it burn my throat
I let it suffocate my lungs
I let it out affectionately,
Ever so slowly,
Into your parted lips.
I let it consume me in a cloudy haze
And then
I let you take me away.

I sit on my porch, the sky is dropping
As I pour my tea.  The day was lit
With paint and brush, now my face
Is lighted by the round full joy
Of the shining moon, I see
Him in my filling cup.

remember remember
old widowed December
and Pluto
the moon with a moon

the sun drips an artist
a walk flies the farthest
O farther than birds in a room.

remember remember
the priests peace and temper
and wet fingernails
Tinted teeth smiling tunes

the moons seen me naked
my virginity taken
I roar from the ***** of what Godkind consumes.

Don't you listen?

Escape into a bubble,
held together by a vibration,
that is resonating in my ears,
then subtract and reduce,
all thoughts,
so that the remainder is only tiny calculations,
pencil in hand,
water running down the window,
light bulb dimming.

The Passing days

From the beach water between my toes
To the dense forest under my feet,
the change has begun,
My careless eyes are beginning to care,  

2281 miles away from you,
my eyes are taken by the thought of your face,
Books are like foreign objects,
the only thing that feels natural anymore,
are the things I can't touch,

The little things,
are the only things,
that make any sense,
I hope once the rhythm  is restored,
So the dance can begin again.

Unfilled dreams visit me
and I pretend
thundering pain does not touch my soul
when I can't hear you say,
“I love you”
before I lay me down to sleep.
Still, I wonder
if I called out on the coldest night
would I hear nothing
but silence
inside the dreams
I keep.  

In the morning hours
I write your name
in the air
with a hand of power,
creating an image
of  love's fire
that can never be lost
in thought.  
A delightful understanding
becomes a sensation of living
with the eyes of my heart
wrapped around the words
I have sought.

My mind sings our story
even when I am alone.
It shouts
from an ocean
of heaven
with a tune swinging  
to the countless beat
of our future need.
It paints our past
with long strokes of feeling
outside of  all the years
that were hidden
by a shadow's greed.

Here I stand as I am
with an invitation
circling my heart
creating a place
for you to be
when time hands me leave
to love you
with every breath
I breathe.  
Although, I may not hear the words
from your lips
the eyes of my heart
hear you speak
with ears........
that see.