Rachel Robison

Rachel Robison Oct 2015

School

I walk into the school
I believe it is my personal hell
People pick on me
I want to cry because of it
I stay home because of them
I try to go stay home but my mom says i can't
I sometimes wish i could die
But i remember i have friends and family that i would miss
So i walk in to school with a smile on my face
People pick on me
I just smile and walk away
I remember a saying my family and friends say all the time
Hater are just going to hate
You are beautiful no matter what is going on in life
I remember all of it
I walk through the school with a smile on my face
And i tell the haters to go away because they have nothing on me
Remember walk through the school with a smile accompanying you through the hard time
Also remember your family and friends before you plan something worse then someone bullying you

I have been bullied all through elementary, and middle school. I finally had it and stopped believing the lies and thought of my friends and family.

Rachel Robison Oct 2015

Rachel

Rachel is the name my mom gave me
Rachel is someone sweet
Rachel is a secret keeper
Rachel is a little momma
Bur rachel has her dark secrets
Rachel is sometimes angry
Rachel is sometimes cranky
Rachel is sometimes depressed
Rachel is also sometimes only
But rachel as siblings who care for her
An older brother is happy for her happiness
Sisters who can tell she as been crying
A mother who loves her so
A father who also loves her
Mother giving her confidence
Mother loves her for the littlest things
This girl is me
Rachel is the name i will carry to the grave

I read one of my sister's poems. The poem gave me inspiration for this poem. Thanks

Oct 2015

Makenzie Robison

The Beating Heart

Aw yes the blood flowing through my veins
My beating heart that comes to a end
I stand staring at what I thought was love
Then I look around and all I see is blood
I smirk then smile
Knowing your time has come.
If only you knew what you could become
So yes the blood that's flowing through our veins
Can be lost
With a simple cut of a knife
You have to ask
Do I truly want this?
Yet when you see every one bend down
You come to horrendous thought
Everyone looks but no one sees
The pain that's inside of me
One heart sticks out
You contemplate
Can I make that heart stay?
One month six days
Then you feel a cut
You said you promises
A promises you broke
Know we go on with life
Like nothing ever happened
But I feel it in the back of my mind
The fact that maybe you could have been the one
Then I remember the knife being turned
I can't fall asleep without seeing your pretty face
Yet I know when I'm not wanted
I know when I have been tossed aside
Just like a shot gun shell which the angel shot at me
I fell in love
And every calls it infatuation
But I not infatuated
My heart is still beating
Though nobody cares
My pain is still real
Although everyone tells me theirs
I can't breathe some nights
Because all I smell I you
You broke my soul and stabbed my heart
Even though my heart is still beating
I look around and see one thing
The heart that stuck out
Was the heart that broke mine
My heart still beats
And when its done
I hope its because of something fun
I dont want pain
I dont want death
I just want love
Like the next person
I want weirdos
I want nerds
I want people who make me feel good
I want my heart to beat faster for someone
Then someone to just say that
We aren't good
I want someone who loves me like I love them
I want the perfect person
But no one is perfect
Yet when I see the smiling faces
I realize
I want what they have
Someone to talk and laugh with
Someone to share secrets
Then I see the 1 month 6 days
I flinch away
I dont want a month and so days
I want forever and always
Yet it always out of my reach
My first heart is gone
I'm on to a second life
I start at the placed I save
And still couldn't get it right
I smile and wave
Even though I want to cry
When I'm alone is finally
The time the tears fall
They couldn't have fallen they crashed
Crashed through the dam
And onto my cheeks
Then I see the very bad thing
Someone walks in
The dam closes.
I wipe away the tears
I face the person
She stands with frown on her face
Short pretty hair and a glare that's not meant for me
I blink she's still there
She's come to haunt me now
She's alive but I am still in love
Then I look away
I can't stand the sight
I saw her in dreams mutilated
But when she is fine and safe I can't stand it
She broke me and she is still whole
I just want to be whole
The heart that beats is mine
It's beats with a thud
I imagine the day it stops
Everyone stares at me
I am the center of attention
I dont want this
I want freedom
I have trapped my heart
It howls to be free
I get colder and push everyone away
I snap in anger
I bite and scratch
Then I awake
It was only a dream
But the heart ache is real
I look around and see my sisters
They smile and laugh
My brother is being rude like always
Then I notice the shadow
The shadow is me
I hang in the background with my gloomy mood
I get asked to do things
I do them
Then I remember when I was happier
No has noticed that after she broke up with me I have been crawling back in my shell.
I feel my heart thump.
I smile
It's not real
No one knows the difference so its fine
I pretend
I could be a actor
That or they choose not to confront
But I put up a show
Then I turn and run
Because whats the point if all any one wants is someone to laugh at
I sit down and think
Am I really worth all this pain?
I look up and spot a light
I smile
A actual smile
One that makes my eyes light up.
She has come to save me
My grandma Jane
I hop up and run to her
Darling are you okay?
I hear her ask
No I'm not. My heart and soul have been broken.
She smiles
It will all get better
The last thing she said before she disappeared
I have hope
The heart of mine is beating
That's all I need to know everything happens for a reason.
I'm in invincible now.
I have knowledge
I have my beating heart
I walk out of the darkness and join the light
My eyes light up and I smile more often
The feeling of death moves away
One month and six days are just numbers
But these numbers have meaning
I'm still alive and my heart is still beating
Just because she broke my heart and soul
Doesn't mean I can't be happy
I have new knowledge
I know how to live with someone who isn't interested
I lay me head down and think
*The beating heart I hear is mine and it's going strong.

Wrote this poem after finally having enough nerve. I hope you enjoy it.

#pain #happiness #heartbroken #exlove

Rachel Robison Oct 2015

Dollhouse

I want to believe I live in a dollhouse
Where nothing is wrong, nothing is broken.
I want to live in a dollhouse
Where everything is permitted
But in reality nothing is like the dollhouse I want
In reality I live in a broken house
Where mother and father live in separate houses
Where brother and sisters fight over stupid things
Where younger sisters fight and bicker over the littlest things
Where going to a different house every other weekend
Where a nineteen year old bother is still working for a job.
Where the seventeen year old is working part time job to help with the bills
I dream of a dollhouse
Where mother and father are together
Where siblings get along
Where older brother works
Where older sister is helping with younger sister
Where everything is in place
Where everything is permitted
The one thing I want....
I want to live in a doll house
I want to be like a porcelain doll
A porcelain doll with nothing broken, just a little cracked
But reality trips me over telling me
"nothing is going to be the way you want"
I sit there thinking "Why bother?"
Then I remember something my sister told me
"Over think the possible"
But reality is telling me not too
In reality I am a broken doll, coming from a broken home
Where mother works a nine hour shift
Where father leaves town
Where older sister gets her heart broken
Where younger sisters want to beat the guys up for it.
Where older brother is lazy like a dog not wanting to hunt.
Where mother has a boyfriend who cares for us like a father should
Where father has a girlfriend who also cares for us
But I want to live like a porcelain doll in a dollhouse
A dollhouse where mother and boyfriend are married
Where a family is a family
Where sisters are playing around
Where oldest sister can read a book without splitting up fights
Where brother helps with the sisters schoolwork
Where music is louder than a bomb
Where sisters can share things like secrets
Where books and music rule the house.
Where siblings listen to their parents and obey the rules
Where friends can come over and stay awhile
Where we can run around without getting in trouble.
Where father can build computers
But reality reminds me, he controls the show
And I **** in with "I can do anything because my house right now is my dollhouse"
My doll house has everything..
My dollhouse acronym
D= Do what you love
O= Over think the possible
L=Love with all your heart
L= Let go of the negative thoughts
H=Have faith in your family
O= Over think the ideas you seem impossible
U=Understand that you are loved
S= See the inside beauty not just the outside
E= Everything is going to be alright.
DOLLHOUSE!

— The End —