I would love to tell you that today was just like any other, but it wasn’t.
You were there whispering, “I’m still right here.”
I couldn’t see you but I knew it was you
Just waiting for the perfect moment to remind me of my worst days
It's funny that it rained today, the one thing I hate and the one thing that leaves me reminiscing about you
I swear any song that was ever ours, played. Some played twice.
I thought I had deleted The Counting Crows album from my phone
Remember the album I played while we made love in our hotel room last year
Was that love?
I can’t seem to tell or remember now
But I know that Anna Begins was playing while we dozed off afterwards
It played twice in my car today.
I needed black leggings for the outfit I had chosen for my date tonight
The only ones I could find were the ones you bought me.
I put them on and that song you sang me started to play on pandora
I hit next.
It played again as I was leaving to go meet my date
This time, I let it play.
I had lunch at the restaurant today and asked why the toy dinosaur was behind the bar,
they said it was yours.
I asked to see it and then threw it on the ground.
Your co workers mentioned how miserable you have been towards them
I changed the subject.
I went to the gym after and saw you there
I walked behind you all the way out to the parking lot but you didn't notice.
On the way home there was traffic, I figured it was typical for the way my day had been going
It was all due to a tractor trailer who couldn't make a turn
I was proud of his determination
I also realized he had no choice but to make the turn
I watched patiently as he backed up and pulled forward a number of times
It reminded me of myself just trying to make a turn so I could move in the right direction
He made it after approximately two minutes of me waiting in traffic
Though to me it felt like I was sitting in traffic watching a tractor trailer struggle to make a turn for four months The four miserable months I spent just trying to make a turn

Wheeling our way around the continent
On an eight wheeled whistlestop tour
We sample cities with bite-sized sightings
But our bites are big because it's our choice to make
Walking in wonder until even wheelchair weakens
And our legs are limp from exploratory ache
​
And our bites are big because also
We share the same love of sampling food
So we get a daily dose of deliciousness
Healing our hunger with what locals bake
Too much temptation here to watch waistlines
We want to try every traditional taste
​
And our bites are bigger come tea time
Once we've crossed country again by day
From breakfast we watch out the window
And wander new place on the way
Miles mounting high on the dashboard
On our mission for mobility's sake
​
And so we've had a big bite of Europe
Big bite and plenty bites each day
These bites are teasing our tastebuds
We want more world at a later stage
​

I wrote this for you a long time ago on a coffee stained napkin, after you left me, full of love, lingering in a cafe.

"For you, in all your follies and faults and the way they make you so perfect for me.
For you, in the moments that linger in the vehemently insignificant corners and corridors of things, as if drifted of their own grandure.
For you, for the words that spill to the floor and the brilliant way you understand the deafening silence that follows.
For you, for your supernovas and clever shades, for your daylight smiles and nighttime skins.
For you, for your familiarity and the impossible truths that stand as martyrs to say that I have loved you before.
For you, despite the treachery and quiet sinister fun of the world.
For you, for making me so terribly scared of dying."
Yet here I am, in your wake, so full of so many thoughts and demons. Know that I have died, that I have loved and lost with equal measure.