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r l Mar 2015
it's almost been a year

almost a year since I left my friends, my family, everything
almost a year since the first time I saw my dad cry
(it was when he dropped me off and said goodbye. I stood there cold like marble and didn't say a word)
almost a year since i stopped going to the gym, drinking gross things and supplements to try and rid myself of guilt, hiding everything, and so many other things to try and make myself less and less and less until I disappeared
almost a year since my life became an open book and i was no longer the main author

it's been almost a year since everything and from it I've barely gained anything except almost twice my age in pounds and some friendships that didn't last
ok super personal but this is a personal account sooooooooo **** it
  Nov 2014 r l
Devon Webb
All I ever got
out of loving you
was a snog and a
fuckload
of poetry.
  Nov 2014 r l
Jordan
Mindless.
Everything we've had, to you,
It was mindless.
It meant nothing.
But you didn't bother to even mention how you felt,
I guess because you didn't feel anything at all.

Effortless.
Everything I felt and said, to you,
It was effortless.
I gave you everything until I was left with nothing.
I was too scared to mention how I felt, because I was afraid,
Afraid you wouldn't feel the same way at all.

Flawless.
Everything I saw in you,
It was flawless.
I fell in love with the way the corners of your eyes crinkled up when you smiled.
In love with the way you saw life, your humor,
The way you drove me wild.

Obvious.
All the warnings and red flags,
They were obvious.
But I was too stubborn to let you go until we were left with nothing.
Now, I find myself here, telling you how I feel, always a moment too late.


Happiness.
I am thankful for every moment spent with you,
It was pure happiness.
You taught me to be free and to find positivity in everything I could see.
I could never regret all that you gave to me.

Images.
All that's left now of us,
They are images.
But these memories, call me crazy, I wouldn't trade them for anything.
If they are all that I have left of you, at least I am left with something.
Even though truly what you left behind, in the end, amounted to nothing.



But oh well, I guess it was probably for the best.
  Nov 2014 r l
Jade M Matelski
12:48 am
**** god and religon **** presidents and their ******* **** school **** laws **** normality **** clothes **** ***** **** drugs **** love **** sexism **** rascism **** blood **** words **** suicide **** murderers **** rapists **** knives **** guns ******* **** this poem **** this aint even a poem **** this

11:58 am
its like everything in the world is so beautiful and i am in love with everyone and everything and theres so much beauty and so much love that i cant function because theres no way for me to experience it all and theres no way for me to love all of it back
i hate that i do this (everything is black or white-good or bad)
its all either awful or wonderful
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