That should be me,
Kissing your lips.
That should be me,
Buying you gifts.
That should be me,
Holding your hand.
That should be me,
Making you laugh.

I love you
I love you
I really ******* love you
And you don't love me and that's okay i guess
Because in the end you are still my best friend
And i just want you to be happy
Even if its not with me
And i think your the greatest person in the world
And you put yourself down
Oh god your smile is beautiful
And your eyes are stunning
And i love you
And i'm sorry for that.

"I never thought of them as lovers; they were
Poems ready to pitch themselves off the edge.
I was their sign to danger.
I was the last few sentences of a suicide note left on the counter on a Sunday morning.
I was an emergency siren screaming and no one noticed.
I was silent sugar sweet and no one could see they were using me to give themselves cavities.
I was simply the white lighter left in the pocket of a boy who never came home."

He only whispers i love you
As he slips his hands
Down the waistband
Of your pants
This is where you must
Understand the difference
Between want and need
You may want that boy
But you certainly
Don't need him.

If you will die for me,
I will die for you
And our graves will be like
2 lovers washing their clothes together
In a laundry mat,
If you bring the soap
I will bring the bleach.

Before you **** yourself,
Just remember
That there are
Places you have not been,
And things you have not seen.
And poems to awe,
Art to draw,
Fields to walk through,
People to talk to,
Music to take in,
Games to win,
And books to be read.
So why?
Oh why,
Do you wish
To be dead...

In the sea of desk there's talk of
bags & games
and long pipes that leak dreams
with strike of a match
and there's a loudness to the
whispers i hear
whispers shouldn't be that
loud, should they?
There's a girl over there who
everyone knows
and men without ears who will
stand by the door for a price
In long hallways, there are angry
mobs of dwarves and rats
and one single angel.

Is
She
Naked
Because
You
Love
Her,
Or
Do
You
Love
Her
Because
Shes
Naked?

If yelling at her in an argument doesn't make your throat burn like you just downed 6 shots,
you don't love her.
If her eyes can't make you stop in your tracks and think about what you're about to say next,
you're not in love with her.
If her laugh doesn't make you tense up your knuckles thinking about never hearing it again,
you're not in love with her.
If her voice can't calm you're worst anxiety attacks and makes you want to listen to anything she has to say,
you're not in love with her.
If her smile doesn't make you're chest quake and your lungs shrink but feel refreshed all in one motion,
you're not in love with her.
If her taking off her clothes is when you pay the most attention to her, you're not in love with her.

People like you,
The good people,
They always die.

And the bad people,
They do too.

But the weak people,
Like me.

We have inherit
The Earth.

You step outside,
You risk your life.
You take a drink of water,
You risk your life.
And nowadays you breathe,
And you risk your life.
Every moment now,
You don't have a choice.
The only thing you can chose,
Is what your risking it for.

If you get a chance, Take it.
If it changes your life, Let it.
Nobody said it'd be easy,
They just promised that it'd be worth it.

Here on my arm lies a mark that I made.
When I was so low I cut with a blade
To punish my body for being a mess,
Though here is my testament, I must confess...

That seeing these scars left on my arms, legs and chest
Makes me realize I was in a place of no rest;
I feel guilty inside for leaving this token.
Now I will see and remember that I was so broken.

But seeing these scars helps me see
That I survived so much trauma and now I am free;
So I ask of you now to stand with me and fight,
To show all these demons what they're doing's not right,

You won the battle of good versus bad.
You are still alive and are no longer sad;
Here on my arm lies a mark of survival,
I got through my hate and beat my self-rival.

Having or relating to two poles or extremities

Characterized by both manic and depressive episodes, or manic ones only.

A feeling of worry,
Nervousness,
Or unease,
Typically about an
Imminent event or
Something with an
Uncertain outcome.

As i walked out the therapist office
I have even more guilt on my face than i did when i walked in,
She told me i had depression.
She told me i had anxiety.
She handed me a prescription.
She told me,
These will make you happy.
On my drive home that repeated in my head.
"These will make you happy"
No. They wont.
Nothing can stop what i go through.
Nothing.
I went home just to sleep all day again.
I try to keep myself awake but i just can't.
I feel like i can sleep forever.
I slowly fall asleep.
I wake-up to my mother telling me to take my meds.
The words "these will make you happy"
Once again runs through my head.
I get a glass of water to take my meds,
Just to go back to bed.
The next morning i wake up
My mother screams, "Take your meds!"
I get a glass of water to take my meds,
Then i get dressed for school for a day to start again.
Everyday the words
"These will make you happy"
Is always running through my head.

I've honestly tried hard,
Sometimes i think to hard.
You've literally changed me.
Changed the way i see love.
Now i think i'm in love with you..
You say you're in love with me.
I hope you are.
You truly have shown me true love.
My mother & father haven't event shown me love at all.
You make me feel like i deserve to be on this earth.
Hell, you're the reason i'm still here.
If it wasn't for you i'd be long gone.
And i love you so ****** much...
You've gave me a reason to stay here,
You've gave me happiness.
And oh my god how i just want to thank you.
Thank you.

I get laughed at,
I get ignored,
I often feel trapped,
and keep my thoughts stored.
People can be cruel and very mean,
but no matter what,
I follow my dreams

Life has waves,
I know that.
But I stand brave,
and just take the crap.
I may feel exhausted and totally creamed,
but no matter what,
I follow my dreams.

I know what I want,
and I won't stop trying.
Quitting? I can't,
for now I'm flying.
It's impossible, it seems,
but no matter what,
I follow my dreams...

Walking through the rain,
I try to forget the pain.
I try to ignore the sting in my eyes,
because I know, a strong girl never cries.
I begin to run, run from my fears.
But I am followed by my ever present tears.
I want to leave these familiar places,
leave behind all of these frequent faces.
But where will I go?
What will I do?
All I know is I have to get far away from you.
But something keeps me here,
crying one last tear.

Walking through the cloud and rain,
A fake smile upon her face to hide away the pain.
A silent tear escapes her eye,
She wishes she could just lay down and die.

She runs to her room and locks the door,
She looks into the mirror and doesn't recognize the girl looking back anymore.
She grabs a razor and cuts in deep,
With the warm read liquid running down her arm, she falls into a deep, deep sleep.

Awaking in a white bed,
She thinks her dream has come true and that she is finally dead.
Until a nurse walks in to check upon her dressing,
Her dream is crushed, and this has caused her stressing.

Her doctors have put her on medication,
Form her family and herself, this will consist of dedication.
And for the rest of her life, she must live mentally and physically scarred,
Never wanting to leave her own backyard.

Imagine yourself
Alone in your head
You're hanging, dangling
From a silver thread

Empty, alone
With the monsters within
Internally screaming
You just want to give in

Now imagine that's you
Every day, every hour
Forever sinking
Like a wilting flower

You try to tell your dad
And you try to tell your mom
But they say you're being silly
You've just got to move on

Because teens don't know sorrow
Nor the hardships of life
They're just kids with imaginations
Just looking for attention, right?

You think that there's none
Who know how you feel
You're just so alone
But the feelings- they're real

Useless
Neglected
Forgotten
Distressed

Alone
Afraid
But mostly
Depressed

And you're friends
They go on
Like nothing has changed

"They must not care"
Your thoughts whisper
The lies in your brain

You can't escape it
Trapped in your own skin
You're ugly
You're hated
But you mask it with a grin

You hate what you feel
So instead you feel nothing
Your insides are numb
Your confidence crumbling

You look to other things
To stop the pain
Cutting, pills
But it gives you no gain

And the people around you
Shout abuse your way
"You're hurting yourself, stop it!"
That's all they ever say

No matter how you plead
That you're broken inside
They turn the other way
They run, they hide

They say you're just foolish
It's all in your head
What they don't know, is inside
You're already dead...

And it only
Took a few
Of that mothers
Words to
Put her back
Into her dark
Estate.
That mothers
Daughter
Found her relief
In a blade..
Once again.

The emptiness that I feel inside
Doesn't have words that I can describe
The loneliness I feel throughout
It was her fault without a doubt
She's still alive but to me she's dead
Of everything that we've ever said
I can't stand to live with her
All the time we fight
Because I don't forget anything
Nothing's alright
My Dad says she cares
He says that she's stable
When I was cutting myself
She only cared about the table
I don't know how I'll feel today or tomorrow
'Cause every other day is a day I feel sorrow
Some kids are lucky
Not having to deal with this bomb
Because this poems about you, so called--Mom.

And one night I feel asleep waking up to see
A girl like me in the paper's headline
"Another teen dies" because her life was full of lies,
Her heart was tied.
And her brain had died.
A life that depression and sadness bought.
Now she's in the sky up high.
Shes now happy, as you see
The sky is where she wanted to be...

Did you ever love someone and know,
They didn't care?
Did you ever feel like crying knowing
It would get you no where?
Did you ever look into someones eyes
And say a lil prayer?
Did you ever look into someones heart
And wish you were there?
Did you ever watch someone walk away,
Not wanting them to go?
Did you whisper, "God i love you."
But never letting them know?
You cry at night in misery and almost
Go insane.
Hell, you don't even know one ounce
Of my pain..
All this **** you put me through,
This is something i don't want to do.
One little slit upon my wrist..
God even knows i wont be missed

I really miss you...
Are you aware.
Of the closeness
We once had.
The laughter we shared.
Sensual nights of passion
Our love so strong
Us against the world
Where did you go.
Yes i can see you...
Sitting in your chair.
Nodding and smiling
Pretending to listen
Where are your thoughts
They are not with me..
Please come back.
Your breaking my heart.
Im lost without you.
All i have left
Are my tears.

my friends
aren't you supposed to comfort me?

my friends
aren't you supposed to stick with me?

my friends
aren't you supposed to back me up?

my friends
why do you tell lies about me to your friends and family

my friends
why do you spread rumors about me?

my friends
why do you ignore me?

my friends
why do you never call me back?

my friends
why do you ditch me for the next best thing?

aren't friends supposed to be buds?
to stick together?

to laugh at each others' jokes?

but no

my friends
all you do is mock me

my friends
the only thing you do is put me down

I had only two friends

my friends?
no

I have no friends

I'm great, fine, spectacular. In a way
I relish every night, and I live every day.
I live, I laugh, I write, I sing,
I wonder what the new days will bring.

Then I get home, and I take off the mask.
The day, and almost impossible task,
Is finally over, and so I lie Down,
and wait patiently for the day that I die.

I cry, I scream, I bawl, and sleep,
even though I have promises to keep.
I wait, and wonder, and cry some more,
And I ache and burn from my very core.

Then, I'm not alone, and the mask reappears:
Out goes the grief, pain and all of the tears,
As I am a happy person, cheerful all the day.
A world full of rainbow, not one shade of grey.

Of course I'm not okay, I'm not fine,
No matter how much I seem to shine.
I don't even know why I feel this...
Why my existence is one long, endless abyss.

But it is, and will be, so I cling to life,
As one day I might slip, and end it with a knife.
But, I'm still here, no matter what my dreams might say
And I hope that one day I will actually be okay.

Just because
My eyes don't tear,
Doesn't mean
My heart doesn't cry.

And just because
I come off strong,
Doesn't mean
Theres nothing wrong.