I don't know what i'm looking for
of you i'm not sure
chemistry calls this a solution
but as i ingest this with no dilution
i find the answer becomes more clear
there is no future here
i don't know if it's you or me
or where i'll be
the thing i need is dead and gone
you i will only wrong
run while you can
i'm no real man
i'm not ashamed
i'm not afraid
i want to be read
i want to have impact
but i don't want you to like it
the more you don't the better i feel
i guess it makes sense
that i never feel tense

In the past you were broken
I didn't understand how much pain you were in
I didn't want to believe it
That you were hurting all the time and trying not to show it
Taking pills and cutting just to erase each day
Finally telling someone what you did
You've changed so much since the years have past
It's like those depressing times were never here
I'm glad you've changed and are on the right track
You keep pushing forward and never look back

I believed it when they told me you would heal my pain, my suffering, and my problems.
Every morning and all day long I let you flow through my veins.
Never loving anyone else, not even myself.

I thought you were my savior for making me feel good.
As long as you were with me, nothing could hurt me.

Until I woke one day and you were not there.
My body trembled for you,
my stomach churned.
Oh, how I needed you!

No way to go get you,
No way could I walk.
I believed you when you said you wouldn't hurt me.
Yet, you are gone and oh, how I hurt.

Ten years of my life, two kids that you made me loose,
And two more I gave up just for you.
My house, my truck....
All just so I could be stuck on you.

Nowhere to sleep,
Nothing to eat.
All my family has turned their backs on me,
all because I choose to take that journey.

Now I'm laying here in this hospital bed,
doctors telling me I was almost dead.
Yet, when I leave this hospital room,
I just run back to you.

Oh, how I loved you.
From 16 years old until 26 I spent all my time with you.
Now, I'm listening to the voice in my heart,
the voice I hear in my soul.
I just don't know....
Am I going insane?

No, I hear the deep thoughts in my mind.
It is your Lord telling you it's time.

Where do I go?
What do I do?
I asked you.
Wait and I'll show you.

To my surprise,
There was my friend walking in
when I was about to do my last dime.

My Lord tells me once more,
It's time, pour your heart out.
And watch he will show you where to go.

To this place my friend asks me to go,
A church! I would've never known.
Beautiful lady, beautiful heart....
Gives me the chance to open my heart.

Change my ways is what I'm told.....
Instead of meeting with what I thought was my love.....
I'm meeting with people who done what I've done.

5 years have gone by,
and you are not even on my mind.
With my Savior, years have gone by.....
Living the life that was meant for me.

Yet, I find myself asking....
What is my purpose in life?

I hear the Lord tell me yet once more,
I had a plan for you but you choose your own.
Now I see why I have given you the choice,
Because now you will help the people who made their addiction their life.

Without you, My Lord....
Without you, My Friends......
Without you, My Pastor......
But most importantly......
Without you, my family.......

Life would have never been changed......