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Ethan Dec 2015
Is it over
Am I done?
Sadness feels gone
But I wouldn't call myself happy
I don't know if I'm optimistic
This knowledge isn't intrinsic
I don't know what to feel
No longer to I writhe from what is real
I struggle to write in this state
With sadness comes words
With this meager happiness
I'm simply at a loss
I'm simply not content
But not miserable
For now
Ethan Aug 2015
The minor elation from my temporary situation

makes it all go away

if only for a few days

I can’t help my vivid imagination

from leading me astray

It’s been a long time coming

this ruse I’ve been running

I only have to fool myself

but it’s only so long before i figure it out

this can’t be good for my health

depression is a great weight loss program

but is it just a sham

am i really sad or am i just lonely

still i seek for someone to make me feel *****

like i said, it’s been a long time coming

it’s still not here yet
Ethan Feb 2015
That roach, that roach
If only I could ****
Would that convoke?
Or I receive revoke?
Or I simply choke?
How I wish to elope
As I head down this *****

However, the roach won't go
It comes out every now and then
Shows its face only to want more
Hiding after satisfaction
My care for the roach can only be measured by my subtraction
Of health, of love
Why couldn't you be a dove?
I'm not attracted to doves
I don't want pretty and stupid
I want smarmy and witty
Oh how I love pity

That roach doesn't pity
It only wants
And all I do is give
In hopes that the roach will care
A reoccurring strategy
Maybe this time it will see me

Oh that roach, that roach
If only I could ****
Ethan Feb 2015
As I sit with my elixir to my right
and my chaser to my left
This emotional burden
I wish not heft
I find myself
Wanting this girl
This is the third
Time I'll try this world
She wants another
This I know
But however
I still put on this show
I'll try and I'll try
To prove I'm worthy
If she'll give up this guy
Who I know is
I know how I feel
This feeling is real
Only if she'd see
What she means to me
She's smart
That's a start
But, will she challenge
That's the real test
If she cannot best
I'll soon to see
If she better than me
I so desperately want her to be

I'm blind going into this
They say
Ignorance is bliss
I beg to differ
I want to know
For me, I wish she'd long
Again and again
I keep singing this song

**** this
**** everything
My vision blurs
But my mind is clear
I want her
But I have many fears
If she wants
I'm here
Ethan Dec 2014
Her ******* loss
i did well
did not toss
her aside
i was content
with her by my side
but she went
to some other man
some other clan
she raises her brood
i'm in no mood
i've got no feud
i ended up on top
her life's a flop
our paths will never cross
to her i say
her ******* loss
Ethan Nov 2014
Face me with any problem
and I'll solve it
Any qualm
I'll resolve it
Religion, mortality
none of this matters to me
I negotiate
nay, appreciate
conflict, resolution
I long to find all solutions
Policy maker I make great
Leader, is up for debate
I'd like the chance
to lead, to dance
the world stage
a great page
in history
I would blister
see, most people see my potential
hopefully, in the end I shall
make my knowledge known
beyond reason, I am no drone
Ethan Apr 2014
This emptiness i can't feed
through these people i too easily ****
i hope i'm wrong
but i know i'm not
here in the vessel
i rot
wasting my mind
wasting my time
waiting, no rhyme
everything i try
every time i die
nothing new
one didn't work
neither did two
both were perfect
but i'm insane
i try to hard
for them
i'd always be perfect
but no one wants that
i'm cold
doing what's smart
not what's caring
but i'll always share
my everything
i'm not happy
somewhere between
mensa and model
i look for a new her
if someone understood
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