Solitude found a friend in me
Winter stole the rest
Wondering where my heart might be
While soul is sinking west

A paler shade of night comes 'round
Moon forgets to rise
An empty lamp of light surrounds
A view of starless skies

With eyes shut wide to lonesome light
Dreams escape my thoughts
Silence awakens fear of flight
A journey all for nought.

r ~ 4/16/14

Laying in an ice cold room,
IV in my hand,
I close my eyes and plead with god
Trying to understand .

" im sorry we cant save it ,
But theres a chance that you could die;
I know your in a lot of pain
And Its ok to cry ".

I feel my husband squeeze my arm,
Im trembling in fright  ,
Im sad and im defeated
And I dont have that much fight .

" Your bleeding into your belly
We need to operate right now ,
Continue to be strong for us "...
.....But i just dont know how.

A foggy conversation ,
And their whisking me away ,
My eyelids get real heavy
And i just start to pray.

Waking up to quiet ,
Im tired and im sore ,
Depressed without a baby
On the maternity floor.

God must have a plan for me
That i just can not see ;
Even through our struggles
Whats meant to be ...
Will be .

I stood in our closet
For what felt like 100 years
Talking myself out of staying
And holding back my tears.

I couldnt form a single thought;
Felt like part of me had died,
I was the one who gave and gave
The only one who had tried.

Shaking hands , hollow heart,
And nothing left to say.
Pack our memories in a box
And ill be on my way.

Anger and sadness fill my heart
And now im just feeling lost ,
Love can be a dangerous thing
And my heart is the cost .

Newly arriving in the Ever After
I noticed up ahead a child holding a sign
That read left or right there's no in between
All must chose a line

The line on the left went on forever
With no end in sight
Yet there was not much of a crowd
In the line on the right

I must have looked somewhat dumbfounded
The child looked at me and smiled
Why would anyone not choose the path on the right
Instead of the left, which goes on for miles

Oh, the path has already been chosen
Back when they fulfilled their earthly desires
They had plenty of opportunity back then
To do that which was right

But you my friend choose wisely
Though you did stumble along the way
You still held firm to Gods righteousness
The path on the right you chose those days

I remember,
every corner of the streets
we used to walk together
holding hands,
where the loveliest colors
are ever painted
within your smiles.

I remember,
the rain which elucidates
the resemblance of truth
and of love,
and all of my attention
is drawn to wondering,
how long will you stay
by my side.

I remember,
how your sweet lips invite;
our first kiss defines
every moment for which
I always realize that I am safe
whenever you are
close to me.

I remember,
those romantic nights
when your body lay
next to mine,
and the moon captivated
our souls, to descry
every beautiful scenery
of a once paradise;
then we talked
about the future.

But a night for which
my heart still remembers,
is when you looked me
in the eyes,
and said the first...

'I LOVE YOU'