Being with her is exponentially better than anything else in my life.

She laughs at my jokes
She understands my humor
The kind of humor I try on other people
And they wonder what box I thought outside of
And how to get me back in there

She likes the weird nonsense that spurs from my mouth
All the fake scenarios
All the strange hand gestures
And all my weird voices
She likes them all, and they make her laugh

But I don't think this is how friendship is suppose to feel

Do all friends feel the incessant need to hold each other during sleepovers
Does friendship mean noticing the way her skirt sways when she moves
Or the way her eyes dart down to her feet when she walks
Does it mean I'm suppose to want to kiss her when we sit underneath trees

Am I suppose to touch her hand
Am I suppose to not touch it
I want to touch it
I want it interlocked in mine

Does friendship mean she's not suppose to notice my new dress
Even when I notice hers
Does it mean she's not suppose to want to be affectionate with me
Even if just the way she touches my arm gives me goosebumps
Is friendship suppose to feel like you're drowning in your own self pity when she talks about boys
And is it friendship when she cries over them and all I can think is

I could treat you better
You deserve better
I could give you everything
Even my lungs if you really needed them.

Is friendship suppose to hurt this much.

Let me take you away.
A whisper in the wind,
A quiet self owned melody
Sung only for me.
Just with the word my mouth would twitch
Excitement in my throat.
A laugh at the silly thought.
Child foolishness.
Two seconds long.
Growing,
Flowing throughout my whole being.
My soul being swept away
From the mere feeling that you’re here.
A flicker of hope.
A maybe thing.
An encouraged dream.
And I close my eyes.
Oh, the beautiful escape;
AWAY.
An offer left up to me
With you waiting just to see.
Wanting so much to set me free.
Without meeting your eyes
Without realizing your disguise
To see if there is truth behind these simple words.
A pinch of anger, despair.
Why should you care?
Why now?
Why not?
Why wait.
To think I almost gave in before.
My eyes shoot open.
Then shift down to the floor.
Emotion makes its mark in my eye.
And I wipe till they're dry,
But they won't stop their free fall.
You reach out.
Lift my face to your eyes.
Oh, those sweet eyes,
Clear as day,
I can see your pain.
Like lightning through your hand
To mugged heart,
I surge with empathy.
And I gather all my strength just to look away
With words of wisdom replayed.
Pain takes its final toll in my barren chest.
I lift my cold hand to yours
With strength no more.
Trembling hand and all
You crush me in embrace.
My heart melts in your arms.
With no more fight left inside
I try not to unfold.
Slipping never felt so easy.
Black stains appear on your white shirt,
My mask is uncovered.
All washed.
Every place I would run and hide is stripped from me.
Till I'm left with nothing but me.
And I am finally
Completely free.

Fingers intertwined, hearts strum together.
Feelings in our eyes, can we stay here forever?
Soft words on soft lips,
& I'm yearning for their touch.
Touch my lips, touch my cold soul;
can we stay like this,
can we share this bliss?
Warm me up, ignite the flame;
make my insides alive, make me scream out the pain.
No more hurt, no more sorrow,
as we lay here in the prospect of tomorrow.