Apparitions of days past
weathered on a face
that no longer holds history
like it used to.
Or like it ever will again.

A blank face
full of emotions
she dares never utter
with wordless explanations.

Haunting hollow memories
of a past chosen for her
and thoughts fathomed into
actions.

I never thought I would be here
I never thought I would be here
Ringing in her ear
Ringing in her ear

YOUR SILENCE
FILLS IN THE
BREAKS BETWEEN
THE LIES THAT
COIL AT MY FEET.

HOW CAN I LIVE WITH MYSELF
HOW CAN I BE ALONE AGAIN
WITHOUT NEEDING
YOUR HANDS,
FIXED UPON MY NECK,
REASSURING ME OF WHAT
I CANNOT PUT TO SLEEP.

THEY SAY THINGS THAT MAKE HER LAUGH;
THEY MAKE HER FEEL THINGS.
THEY TELL HER THINGS THAT ARE MAKE-BELIEVE
AND SHE’S ALWAYS WANTED TO BELIEVE THINGS.
THEY SNICKER
AND NIBBLE
AND CHIME;
THEY CHARM AND SHE FOLLOWS, HYPNOTIZED.
THEY ALWAYS TALK UP AND DOWN,
THEY TALK LEFT AND RIGHT,
UNTIL THERE IS NOT RIGHT AND WRONG,
UNTIL SHE CAN NO LONGER WRITE HER WRONG.
IT’S ALL FORGOTTEN IN THE BEAUTIFULLY ARRANGED LETTERS.
THEY NEVER LET HER CATCH HER BREATH,
THERE WAS NEVER TIME TO CONSIDER THE GAPS.
SO THEY MARCH ON, THE FOUR
AND THEY NEVER LOOKED BACK.
SHE MAY HAVE NEVER FELT SO CAUGHT BETWEEN,
OR AT LEAST THAT’S WHAT THEY SAY.

Some days are just incredibly dark.
You wake up and nothing is right
Inside.
And it takes all day to get back.
It takes the entire day
Searching for the truth,
Weeding out the half-truths,
Silencing the voices,
And forgetting his touch.
It takes all day to consistently and Consciously
Reach up and accept His help
Because you know it was your fault too
And he’ll never apologize.
He’ll never apologize
He will never apologize.

MEMORIES DON’T DELETE.
AND WORDS THAT YOU CAN’T BACKSPACE
RING AND RING AND RING.
THERE’S NO LOGOUT FOR RELATIONSHIPS.
THERE’S NO SPELLCHECK FOR MISTAKES.
AND NO OFF SWITCH FOR
MUSCLE MEMORY TO REPLAY
OVER AND OVER AND OVER.
THERE’S NO RECYCLING BIN
FOR THE AWFUL THINGS SAID.
THERE’S NO VOLUME CONTROL
FOR THE WORDS TO SCREAM AT YOU.