"I can see my door, my bed, my window, my chair, and my table.

"I can feel my spine against the wall, my feet against the floor, my jaw tightly shut, and my fingernails buried in my arms.

"I can hear the wind coming in from the open window, my heartbeat rapidly thumping, and that familiar voice in my head, shouting once again.

"I can smell the dampness of the ground outside as the breeze carries it to my room, and the sickly sweet odor from the soap used on my hands.

"I can ******* blood spilling from the bite in my lip; my last harsh reminder that
        I
        am      
        still
        alive.

out of all the things that she havent tried
death,
is always something that stirs up her mind
bewildered,
fascinated
of how a single action
can cause a ripple effect of emotions
she wanted to see the reaction
of the people that never really showed anything to her
she wanted to know what it feels like to lie down
with serenity and peace
plastered in a motionless face.
before, she made a decision
attempted
but she is too weak,
she ponders
if being dead
is the same feeling as her being alive
she knows that she can try
with darkened mind
and shattered heart
there is no turning back this time

Twenty
I never thought a number would throw me into a rollercoaster of emotions
Twenty
Was my age when life gives me flying kisses of ruination
All the feelings that I kept in the back of my heart
Provoked by a number
Twenty
Was the day I witnessed my own death
In front of the mirror I keep convincing myself
that it is all fine
Its alright
Twenty
As I swallow the pill that my shadow gave me
I choked
I laughed
I tasted my own tears
"bittersweet" I told myself
only the hands of despair is there to help
I touched it's cold palms
And left my soul frozen and somber
My feet can no longer feel and wander
Twenty
Please tell me
How to stop a number
How can it be a dagger
How can twenty be a melancholy's epitome