sometimes
it hurts so bad to close a chapter to your life that was so good
because there is the constant fear lingering in my mind
that maybe the next chapter won’t be as good
because when in my life will I meet another person like these people
because
sometimes
it’s hard to believe
that I could get that lucky twice

i so fondly remember
laying down on the old baseball diamond
wrapped in you arms
cradled by the overgrown grass
rocked by the light breeze
sang to by the crickets
and your voice in my ear
i didn’t know i was failing in love
but i did know
the air felt kind when it brushed my shoulder

how do i say
i never want you to leave
when
i know we both need to go

i don't know what to say when
i love you doesn't feel like enough
how do i say
i love every part of you
even the parts you hate
especially the parts you hate
how do i say
i don't know if i will ever feel good enough for you
but god will i try
you make me want to be better
how do i say
every time you smile at me
i can feel my heartbeat pound through the speakers
how do i say i love you
when i love you doesn't feel like enough

i only listen to other people's playlists
it is not because i don't like other music
it is because listening to your playlist
is almost the same as being with you
because i can feel your heartbeat through the speakers
your pulse through the floor shaking
your laugh through the guitar riff
because my favorite song is you

the sky opened into a torrential downpour
i could not see the lights ahead of us
all i could see was you and the rain
but i was not afraid
i slowed down but i kept driving
you laughed and sang and shouted
when the rain cleared
and we drove into blue skys
i was thankful that the drive was with you
you have always helped me get through the rain

i'm sorry that when you say
i love you
i have to pause
before i can say it back
i need you to know
i am not hesitating
i am not unsure
i am not confused
when you say
i love you
my heart beats
outside of my chest
and i have to pull it in
before i can say
i love you back