He posts a poem
He sits and waits
Hoping people can relate
To the words on his pad.

He posts a poem
He keeps eyeing for comments
Hoping for critics and commends
To show his words have value.

He posts a poem
Silence.
Finally peace
With his internal demons,
He posts a poem
To silence the torment
His words completely absorbent,
Killing each demon within him.
He posts a poem
To extinguish the flame
That is to blame
For all his sadness and despair.
He posts a poem
Not for anyone else,
But for himself,
A seemingly innocent task
But an internal cry for help.
HELP!!!...

Silence,
Once again
As he posts this poem.

I woke up last night dead,
Demonic voices echo in my head
And all of them clearly said
'Tell her you like her',
'Maybe it'll surprise her'
'Maybe she'll call you a liar',
And I'm thinking I'm just a nervous guy
Each word escape my mouth stinks of shy
And will a false bravado makes my words, lies?

I like her
And I guess I'll show her that I care about her
Well because I do care about her
But she spoke of a certain world
And I was too scared to doubt her
So my thoughts and feelings became a storm
And a resultant of lightning as clouds stir
I broke branches of certainty.

In 9 seconds it'll all be over
You'd hope you weren't sober
As it enters your body.

In 9 seconds it'll all be over
Pray on your four leaf clover
That it'll only last 9 seconds.

In 9 seconds it'll all be over
Time might feel slower
As you resist restraints.

In 9 seconds it'll all be over
But the stench of sweat odour
Will scar your remaining life.

In 9 seconds it'll all be over
You'll feel a burden like boulder
Too heavy to carry.

In 9 seconds it'll all be over
You'll never get true closure
But it's not a choice.

In 9 seconds it'll all be over
As volts of electricity pass your shoulders
And in 9 seconds it'll all be over.

The look you gave me reminded me of
when you found out about the boy
at space camp.

It reminded me of when you sent me the
message saying, "I'll call you when I get home."
And then you proceeded to angrily cry and
sob in your room over FaceTime with me and
ask over and over again,
"How could you?".

It reminded me of the look you gave me that made me realize
that I had messed up so badly.
I had ripped your heart out
and when I realized that,
I wouldn't have blamed you for saying goodbye to me
right then and there.

You didn't, and I know you regret it.
I'm sorry.
I don't know what else to say.
I'm still here wishing I had made better choices.
I'm still wishing that I had held you closer sometimes, too.
You probably regret it all.
You'd rewrite that ending, wouldn't you?

God, that look...that look.
I pretended like it didn't break my heart
but I can promise you that it
did.

How did I get lucky
enough to have met you?

You stumble out a dry cleaners
Or a 24-7 convenience store
And with your weapon of choice
You brandish and challenge
The chains of the legal system
For a little profit or as you deem
Method of survival.

Somewhere between buying a gun
Finding a gun, or owning a gun
You forgot what it was like
To be a caring brother,
To be a worrying father,
To be a loving mother,
To be an innocent sister,
And when you finally,
Look the eyes of the
about to be soulless,
As you let off alarms,
That ring more than just pain
And blood,
But rings of
your own
guilty conscience,
And heartache for the victim,
You have forgotten what it's like
To be a part of humanity.

This too shall pass
I reassured myself
Cleaning the shattered
Remnants of my
heart by myself.

This too shall pass
I repeatedly told
myself as I
found myself
crying in the
corner of my room.

This too shall pass
as I act
as my own
adhesive and held
myself back to
one piece.

This too shall pass
as I see
her walking away
from me.

I don't think this will pass
As I tell myself
dreaming about you
every single night.

So I reassure myself
This too shall pass.

the world is bright and yours,

from the ******* treetops to the floors.