I kind of felt like someone sucker punched me in the gut Like my whole life had led up the that moment yet everything changed in a split second.

When you desperately want something so bad for so long and it just slips out of your fingers at the last possible second.

You feel hopeless.

You feel worthless

You don't know how to pick yourself up afterwards.

How many times is everything going to go to **** before it all works out .

More importantly when will it all work out.

When will everything be ok.

heartbeat
in my brain

rivers
in my hands

adventure
in my soul

telephone cans

i'd like to
find a crevice
so deep in your bones
to build a nest
of your vessels
for this cold,
chilling winter

Do you think about what a small boy does, when
He throws a mussel into the surf?
The shell ruptures into smithereens,
The shocking orange entrails exposed,

The cold salty water flushes the hole.
Slowly everything inside disintegrates.
It melts into the galaxy of foam.

The boy will someday wade in. Swim in. Throw his empty bottles in.

Maybe as a father, it’s in this same foam his children will learn to float.

And someday the boy will die. And a sunflower will grow on his grave, in full blossom. The seeds will be thrown into the sea by another little boy. And he will find himself at the scene of his first ******.

I am a daughter a sister and a lover but a fighter when needed

I take what I can get but never give up hope that I may one day get more

I am a hopeless romantic and not afraid to admit it I am lost in a sea of dreams and not sure which way I should swim

People say I fall in love to quickly but maybe they don't fall fast enough

I am stubborn and doubtful I try not give into temptations or peer pressure

I am wild and crazy, loud and at times immature I am not afraid to say how I feel but then hesitate to make sure I don't hurt people

I am a friend I am overprotective and can go a little insane I try my best to make the ones I love happy I never fail to intertwine my dreams and my reality So I can one day say I achieved far beyond what was thought of me

I am an artist an athlete and a comedian I write how I feel, play to win and make others smile

I am gay but I don't let it define me I accept it I am proud of it

I am a one track mind with an old soul I am curly hair green eyes and talent that flows threw my bones

I try to be myself at all times I am a dreamer a believer and most of all I am an achiever Hoping that one day I find my place in this world and if I get lost I won't hesitate to stop and ask for directions

I am not afraid to chase my dreams even if they take me to the unknown I am more then what is shown on the outside I am more then you know