i sat down at the end of the day
having spent it
tending to my garden:

so much emotion is in my stomach
i doubt that i even have
a heart

3.5 grams of marijuana can last
me about a month
and i'm wondering: where was i in my 20s
when i smoked so little
i hear
heavy smokers obliterated
by the discovery of the Stretch of Time
time non-linear not
history
i better: sink feel this:
send those emotions to my *****
my genitals:
kneel and speak with my ***: relax
my ***:

then i think sometimes
i imagine speaking through my ****
rather than my mouth
when i think i sometimes
imagine speaking through my ****
rather than my mouth
because i'm no politician rhetorician
and i'm getting the blues
afraid of myself:
why am i so stone so Sisyphus
why am i so nervy ******
playing an IDLE GAME

games were so different back in the day
of Mario Bros
now there are IDLE games...
you get fed adverts
your pocket sized DEEP BLUE
overheats
and then you have to start hacking
the phone
because there is apparently moisture
in the charging socket
but there isn't

because when you hit ON button
i smoked half a joint
tonight
and i want to write
so i also drank a whiskey...
or two...
no... best keep this Election Night
giggles under shades
i know who's going to win
when in Europe there is the Right
while in England it's: Conservatism
but random people
talked to me on the train about politics
and i was coming home
tired

but beside that: just reading habits:
who can spaghetti monster
and the custard clot Yellow King
of Hapsburg and Lovecraft
an Austrian monstrosity hanging
over the German people

bad habits: like really bad habits:
i have too much on my mind
that even summoning an *** for a mouth
will not do:
now i have three mouths in my head:
bleak Corinthian dynamic
oh jeez:
jazz? maybe:

                                Zukofsky's A
and when i heard that voice
bro: i was over-tell: myself that the silence:
oh those wind chimes bother
me why did we invent them
when not living on islands for most of the time
the voice bothered me
i'll finish the joint when i'll head
to bed:

the best anything is 1/3 bourbon and 2/3
whiskey
i created a mutant spirit: at 40% loading...

i'm scared of myself for not being a worldly man:
an ambitious man
a politician:

democracy is:
when in its infancy as an idea of governing people
by people
why so many loops and snakes and ladders?
i'm not an ambitious man
i have no world demands
although i'm sitting on wealth
and with that comes:
pips of cherries and trees in winter...
and *******: plenty of *******:

while Wimbledon is on
and the Euros
and the elections across Europe
and now England:
how many prime ministers?
elections are called in times of crisis
i saw Cameron, May, Sunak, Liz Trolley...
i saw Blair, Brown and... who?
ambitious men:
i am afraid of myself:
not being an ambitious man:

less but more Harold Norse contemplating
not being a male-man
(ha ha, politico automachine
spell edit, introductory
alliance with "woke" terminology:
old ****: geezer, gas baboon)
because not prone to violence
or appreciative of sports notably football
just mad about poetry

but mirage mirage:
what a combination on ***
and the trans train: of alphabets:

     LINDA DE SOUSA
    with / & WADE WILSON:

scary to think there are even people
there:
on the "other side" of tax collectors
and i've been with ******
and there are people there:

we're so dynamic in our dualism beside
the mind
that there are parallel lives being led
with parallel fates being fed
in the simplest of languages: by one: in one:

i had to escape: become schizophrenic-schizoid:
how?

i'm bilingual so...
backup banning floppy disks in Japan
(if you read the newspapers:
you'll know)
the 3"15            was that the t.n.t. detonative
ascribing ref.?

           i need to write in English but listen
to music in German:
notably folk: folklore bands
Faun: federkleid:

i just need to because otherwise
i can't stomach
the life of the one tongue
and this rabbit rabid ethnicity
based upon
nothing but the tongue:
or two:

now the flood
of memories: subtle:
when i laughed at my mother speaking
English over the telephone:
i was a terrible brat
but today i am old
and older and at least
she's not a language confrontation
of lackey: suite...

the bible and the quran can exist
and... whatever:
but i want to write a contender:
antitoxin...
or toxin:

ah the ambition awakes and i'm delusional
again with my lover...
tub tub... tub tub:
three little finger flickers
then her tasting herself
after i finger her and put my fingers
into her mouth...

but Heidegger became real:
schematics
of external security:
at Wembley: someone was flying
a renegade drone over the south
of the architecture:

FOOTPRINT? my ***...
charlie 1: olympic steps
charlies 2: oh jeez... never heard of
positions 2, 3, 4...
charlies 5: Atlantic Way
Charlies 6: north east staircase
Charlies 7: south east staircase
charlie 8: south east ramp
charlie 9 and charlies 10: gate 3
(with quadrant Romeo)
usually Frenchie: endearing?

charlie 11: zig-zag alley
charlie 12: Spanish steps:

da-sein: concern:

Om om: the Mongol? began winking at me:
did i look panicked?
pan-caked:
i thought i was going to enjoy
ACDC
when they came on: i did:

apparently i was working outside
and i heard the better acoustics
and i almost played my guitar the last
time i was bringing
salt and sugar and toilet paper from
the attics:
i once upon a time wanted
but was not fated with either guitar
or chemistry as supplier
of bogus narcotics and to alleviate
the softness of this world
while the primitive aspects were
concerned: of no concern...

                 but i didn't: one handshake
i wonder what that is in Katakana:
handshake...
ooh! no Cambridge Dictionary hyphen
assertion:
it only took Charlie 6 not note to
CONTROL:
medical emergency:
possible concussion
head split open
falling over traffic barriers
metal to calcium
infestation with iron: this calcium

what? call an ambulance?
am i the ******* patron Saint of the Hospitaller
or something?
the Wembley footprint?
judge of what? character?
the guy is bleeding like a monk:
tonsure...
the natural bird-line of his nesting hair:
call an ambulance?!

two quadrants showed up
*******:
three charlie call signs
then the External Manager:
LIMA ECHO...
how the **** was i supposed
to call an ambulance:
hell's bells was playing
in the background:
sure, i was at the ac/dc gig:
got two t-shirts:
for me and my father
but i was working:
getting paid for X
but not getting paid for
reinvigorating the reinterpretation
of Heidegger's Dasein...

not the ambitious man:
i "forgot" to text my availability to Lyndon:
***** Scouser: yar...
and i forgot to text back my lover
and that's just that:
if poetry:
well democracy works when you
have individuals like Damocles
and the swords of Saddam Hussein:

work... but when you have
democracy contra democracy:
people are not infringing on your way
in living:
today i was visited by a Conservative
minion campaigner
and there my ambition stumbled
and i became this
devilish little man
of little things
and that was just fine:
since god is not c.c.t.v.

              demonic in flavor or anything
more than the 1
in the eternal decimal pointer:
UNDIVISIBLE:
UNDIVISABLE:

   1
       not: rather: 0.111111111111111...

1/9:             there are NINE: nein?
NINE HORSES OF THE APOCALYPSE:
five are missing:

             boredom!
                  madness!
          technology!

i found at least 3: got kicked in the head
by a white horse in the moonlight: almost...

            PEACE!             that's four: the horse
of peace: peace is like a war:

         conquest?         contra the mortal quest?
from the Vatican:
what 7 deadly sins?
  how about the 8 realistic horses?

conquest i will do like the synoptic
readers did unto
the apocryphal readers:
i will: turn: the other cheek..

   you savvy: drop drool and lip
blossom: no? maybe spring in New York
and in central park...

the horses are running:
War Rower
             Peace Pacifier
  Famine Fetishes of Fat
Death the Central (Power)
Boredom and Brew Dogs

how many horses? i need a chariot:
no carriage: just two archers...
5...                      3 more?
borrowed from the classical
sense of geometry
Greco:HYMAN:HYMN
ITALICS:WOMEN:He:did':brew:'t

          HALF-DEATH: horses of dementia:
needle? thread: extension of grass?
so much *** of glitter... no?

      horse of TECHNOLOGY:
the Solipsist: the St. Augustine
with his Soliloquy: once: Soliloquies
like the injustices performed
upon Sisyphus by the gods:
while... the Titans were helpers:

Prometheus: and the un-ambitious man...
like: moi...

              have i covered more: not expected?
just the barrage of typo
and type: dot dot dot
while i watch a book burn unlike
a cross in the Chatter
Club Capitalism: wavering:
unsure where is Left Copernican
and Right Copernican:
north and summer
south and autumn
winter and east
and spring west:

                not sure: feel: disorientated...
slightly...
     almost got kicked in the head by a horse
but i was stupid enough to walk
in the woods
while angry at the blinding darkness
i had no ego for light-bulb
but instead overheard:
i will not be a **** enthusiast
i heard SATAN I N EXCELSIS...

                i must be a good enemy of man
if i am also the best friend of man:
however many times:
i try not to be one.
perhaps that's how it came to be:
to thus become:
learning how to pet animals:
minimizing talking to pets
like minimizing talking to lovers
during ***...
i make fun of my cats
automating onto onomatopoeia(s)
while they pretend to want to talk...

oh but i know animals can
talk the talk of humans:
i overheard my cat Oscar Darshan
tell me outright:
(ty) JABEŁ...

                i don't need to raise
children: people disbelieved me
i went to psychiatrists
*******
and your white powder SODA brain
freeze: powder! ambitious
sexed up men of grey: and suits!

          women can have children
and hear them speak all they want
but life for man?
when he hears a petted animal speak?
sorry:
aversions to your **** and
providing bus drivers and doctors:
i have mystique:
and my testosterone:

wasn't the fox at the Greenwich:
yeah: the hustler:
enough proof?
doubting Thomas you too?! not so much
a Peter?! Edie?

philosophy: the slow-burn of experience... in one's last recollection: existentialism: out of every instance: an insistence: a preservation of the Hellenic PRO VIVO and not this morphed Roman: PRE VITRO: by sand: from dune to dune: by sea of dryness to the sea of: insurgent hills: boulders of salt: salt like chalk a rock given: enough time... i wonder why i find myself to seclusive and adamant only: by scorn and tear and moan of woman and the tenderness of a cat's lair... o harp and grunt and gurgle around the edges: torture my past last seen: of me, as me: and someone please have my I to switch me on and off on off on off i have sleep on my mind but dreams walking about and around them i place my campfire: rest: assist... auxiliary
that's:
             since the spelling mistakes: redone like a make-up video
with woman:            XI
                                 L
                                LI
                            ­          and that's a-u-X
                                      u-x-I
               ­                     10
                                       1
                                     1 1
                                    50
                        ­                                       51...

that's something special: like the devil's dozen:
matthew, luke, judas, simon peter,
nathaniel,
            mateusz konrad
mateusz konrad
                timothy uzeer
       john
                           Barthamalomew
Bart...
       Barthamoylew: loo! loo! boo! boo!

Q'y'i'y'e

                       and Kye:       Qatohha:
Kevin: *******:
must... sneeze: mustard?! Knaves! Chives!
Chimneys! Open Fields of Poppycock!

WWI: bis (2-chloroethyl) sulfide
in the fields: mustard a **** killer gas:

WWII: diatomaceous earth
             hydrogen cyanide...
Zyklon B: U-boats: Beethoven:
               Panzer: brigadier: BRZĘCZYSZCZYKIEWICZ
                                             ­   ж     ч  ы      Щ ы             ч
sgn: ЦAP

the game of football evolved:
not before my eyes
but when you're sitting watching
snippets of the Sandman
with your mother
with the skull of three mouths
and that's the Holy "the Corinthian"
Spirit to me:
Christianity can be scary
like all the Turkic furor in
Leipzig:
               with the Austrian scorer
and then the game
was on for the last 20min:
  
                 a proper football match:
Edie i love you
but i also love my father
and i also love my mother
and i know Reyla is an oprhan
but i also write
and i know it doesn't give me money
but it gives those around
me the chance to see a spectacle
of one: enamored by life
and finding pleasure in thinking
and abstracting emotions: rather than
using or feeding off of them...
emotions have pronouns
and sometimes they venture
into our minds
without brains like schizoid ghosts
of freezing winds...

Austria vs Turkey:

   not like Portugal vs Slovakia:
a beautiful match

but 0 - 0
probably the most tactical
of matches
with Prima Madonna of Ronaldo
i could comment
on the sport commentary on t.v.
i.e. perhaps Bruno Fernandez will
have a chance to get a kick
at a free-kick?

   point being: football evolved:
from a
4-4-2 or a 4-3-3
or a 5-3-2
               getting the ratios looser:

M. Gregoritsch: sign of the cross
because he was playing against a Muslim:
ahem: Turks are not Arabs
are secular bandits too

modern football formation:
two strikers is so weird: apparently:
as told by tacticians
so much so that even women
got involved and started playing
weird: 144 caps...
10 years: how many officiated games
are these women having
when men are proudest having
capped 100 international games...

like wow...

       3-2-4-1
       3-4-2-1
    
and now my own:

   2-2-3-3
                 2-4-2-1-1

  but there are some weird ones:
point being:
in the old days
you had games
where

4-4-2 clashed with a 2-4-4
game of football was chiral:
and no chiral too:

you did have 4-4-2 vs 3-3-4
and that was given to us "fans"
who played football on t.v.
and still do...
because the game can evolve
and now you have
these weird formations:

new: Portugal:
old: Slovakia:
almost the Cold War reignited...

then Turkey and Austria:
point being there's a siege
at the goal:
that never used to happen:
set-pieces and sieges of "confused"
formation no longer being so rigid
not fuseball fusball fastball:
not snooker or cripples...

obviously tomorrow
i will have to get my father an AC/DC
t-shirt and think about
an ever expanding family
i missed father's day with a present
but socks
and whiskey and sunglasses:

i just remembered that i've been
scribbling for well over a decade
and i have a trip to Hawaii to thank
me for seeking out the vampire
darkest ego and triad
but football has changed
and it's in the formation
and how games are also analysed
and should be noted of:
should their functioning in a recurrent
investment of interest fade:
so becoming deductive de facto: defunct:

blood sports of the Coliseum
football matches and concerts
of the Stadiums...
little Greece in Soho and the West End...
there's always a little Greece
and a little China
wherever Rome still remains: a whiff
of sewage and fresh air
and oranges and bay leaves...
well: no wonder Rome didn't invade
the Slavic peoples
while invaded what is the British Isles
a Germanic and Celtic and Wend
to Pict: conglomeration an Alice in Wunderbra...

the game has changed:
capacity of Madison Sq Garden: 18,000...
if i won't be able to stop
and one but one of my poems
gravitates to the capacity of Wembley:

just to love sport and be sober about
it: i can't imagine
being savage at a sporting event
having to invest in *******
like this is war
war of what? disparaging colors
of shirts?
flags: being burned?

            i have to be sober and critical
and fair and judgemental
whenever watching a sporting event
it's not a managerial investment
to the alternative to playing golf and
making deals and friends and profits...

to appreciate sport is to escape
the hellhole of bedroom antics
of video gaming:
yes: unlike those turtles of the toilet
literature 15min constipation over Proust:
but live sports is what gets you
away from video gaming...
you get to be a play-along judge:
critique: honing in on the Ethic:
the laughter at the devil with:

well i do know right from wrong!
you just worded it differently!
i spoke with the fox:
and he told me: double-sly
against you: being a mammal and all
and probably one of your lesser cousins:
i do know right from wrong:
but you said:
and you will have knowledge
of the difference between good and evil!

simple! math! grammar!
i do know right from wrong!
but if you serpent old peacock:
survived the dinosaurs: ha ha:
crocodile my Mammon and Moloch
with Beelzebub a bird beak pecking...
since: old serpents became
      hmm...

           confused woodland pigeons:
sometimes i see a confused male
unable to call to tell apart
the sexes
with the males less convinced about
flying away to safety:
no greater spectacle than the abandonment
of a pregnant woman...

it should be Shakespearean
but then those old social norms
would have had
two families waging wars against
each other...

            now so lazily: clamoring
to mean anything at all:
best confronted by the friendship of dogs
and it's just as sad to write
anything about these times: at all.

originally intended to compensate some dietary reading: concerning the abjad (abgad) el tigr3 infanticide: because we're never getting back together i listen to well ******* indie tracks than you... only as late first recognized: 1990 by Peter T. Daniels... which i came to the same realization perhaps the Jews were murdered by Europeans displaced into Europe by who but we might have killed so many of them yet at no point did they tell us the secrets of their religion: no... not really: kept it like an ever-shifting Vatican popping up in numerous places: like i'm with Kanye West in Moscow right now on a freedom of speech trip... like i have mind farts and i'm constipated with cramps... then less so diarrhoea (wrong spelling) spewing into custard tarts... i knew the Hebrews were hiding their vowels... I for 1 and E for 3... and O for zero... so... that's 3 vowels used in the creation of letters... or rather 3 numbers... A and U? don't know... something do with with being preoccupied with Δ for A: that's dropping her skirt and getting rammed in the ***... ergo it might have been a story of Edward and Amie... not Adam and Eve... any more vowels for letters? no... how many numbers 10... so 7 numbers came from consonants... and there are more consonants than vowels: phew! i was almost getting scared that it might not be logic: after all: guiding me...

i want to write something relax
but then her crying
into my ear
last night for two hours

two more hours when i woke
up and played with her
in bed

the sound of something hitting
or rather being placed on a table
with great force:

me striking a glass of whiskey
with my stainless steel ring finger
i have not bothered
to fix the wooden psalm 91
wooden ring
it must have snapped at least 5 times
now: into four pieces from the original 2

conversing toward an: "under-appreciation"
of the Hebrew:
Gematria:
when there's psychology there's psychiatry
when there's astrology there's astronomy
when there is physics there's metaphysics:
this is the one sole inversion
when there's Gematria there's Algebra
and Mother Mathematics...

assigning letters with numbers
when it was letters that gave birth to numbers
and no
the pride of Lucifer
in the science
maybe my i.q. is sub-par but pride
is so shallow
today i watched one episode
of the Sandman
and freaked out
at the Corinthian: a skull with three mouths!
that's the Holy Spirit:
the Corinthian from the t.v. show
the Sandman!

ingenious! i rarely watch t.v.
but sometimes i do get
a glimmer of Plato's Cave and i'm like: wow!
i can or did i conjure up
these characters in my sleep...
or in my writing:
i've written so much i forgot to keep
track: occupational hazard
of being semi-professional:
semi: i'm not getting paid
but i love what i do and i write
without looking down on the keyboard:
ol' QWERTY
i just look at the screen and position my hands
just right before the altar
of words and gods
i place my hands on the altar of letters
and numbers and punctuation markers
and i don't pray with arms
clasped:

perhaps her loving me is her crying
into my ear
which is almost like her moaning into my ear
perhaps her crying
and her moaning are a twin ecstasy genius
demigod of the feminine... of women:
woo or woe:
woo me O woe...
woe and woo me

i'm just a man
i keep emotions for minutes
while thoughts for hours
and they stretch into days
and days
become weeks
and weeks months
and months years
and thoughts i just drop like pennies
all round:
i steer away from emotion
but i remember places where
i lamented in the night:

the pride of mathematics and sciences
over the humanities
because numbers became ungrateful
in the minds of men
while words remained lazily clad...
  
   6 for b and 9 from P
5 from S and 2 from Z
   1 from I
         7 from L
    4 from G
                         3 from E
0 from O
                   and that's TEN: 10... binary
and:
   we'll not go into the algorithms...

what were the initial letters of Surah:
ALIF LAM MIM

the cow...

        ʾ / ā                 1
alif...

                 ل           lam:         30


        مـ       mim:              40

1 30 40

now combine:

   + / - / x / ÷

    1 + 30 + 40 = 71

the 1 is going to be problematic:

ع ('ayn) = ل + مـ

                but the one is going to be problematic:
it might have to invoke
what happens when letters peered at their
creation of numbers and then:
the numbers did likewise
and found!           and found!          π      

that became like the bible for numbers
a circle:
ego,
coefficient
the glue
                                and the holy script of
numbers begins with π
                   the little god of god:
because there is: a little god of god...
and he is contained within the circle
and sometimes in the Kaaba...

            and mostly in orbit on Jupiter
with the Great Eye
of a wind of the implosive gravity
of black halls:
dark stars
like light gods
there must be a pantheon of the dark
gods
who help us see past existence
and see death a paradise
a Kafkaesque life and brilliance in darkness
and the cool of shades...

8. and when kindsfolk and orphans and the needy
are present at the division (of the heritage),
bestow on them therefrom and speak kindly
unto them.

     10. Lo! those who devour the wealth of orphans
wrongfully, they do but swallow fire into their
bellies, and they will be exposed to burning flame.

i can work with this translation:
i can take snippets of the Quran and feel ecstasy
at the poetry that cannot be translated
and is only responsible for the greatness of
the current Arabs
and their diligent wait for the unearthing
from the Desert the Gold of Black...
unlike any comparative literature:
Dune saga and the life of Lawrence of Arabia
and David the key star
on board Prometheus
since we moved on from the 20th century
and Aliens
and freaks and our own d.n.a. mishandling
genetic defects
while the Chinese are not shy about using
technology proper...

          but the new horror emerged from the android
than the alien all freakish animal
like an enlarged insect
nothing more:
a new sobering horror: after all the same people
made the first movie and the second movie:
same director:

Ridley Scott? can't remember:
but a new horror emerged at noon! not in the night:
at noon!

p.s. n.b.
well Reyla is an orphan and now she's worried
that she has too much of her father
in her
whom she never met
and whether i'm all in scratches or what is: isn't
and what isn't: somehow is...
like the currency of themes where
people congregate and what this medium
has become
maybe i should be thinking about switching
mediums and putting a Bill or a Sterling
a Bills: $
a Sterling £: lark:

3 E £
3 E £
                 whereby numbers created a letter
that is a surd a Chinese ideogram not Chinese
but nonetheless
juice: glitter... the same message:
a trans-valuation insignia: £T$
                              
                                in a land of working
with: gandu
                       un'qyl
                                     and habibi.

if: i ever finish the Dune saga: at least up to... the God Emperor volume... if... but given the nightmarish scam of the movie and the rather: pale-by-comparison prose... i'm still to read Deleuze & Guattari's Anti-Oedipus... but... coming to think of it: do i have to? Edie is my mother-Oedipal age difference lover... as this book is a schizophrenic critique of capitalism: i'm hardly going to open the floodgates to socialism... bad set of cards... but regardless of that: i came to an interaction with a man in his 40s who was: living a life of deception after not being diagnosed with ADHD early on... hmm: i thought... kind sir... you were: NOT diagnosed... but see: i was misdiagnosed: early on in life with: schizophrenia... psychosis... etc they couldn't simply call me hearing a choir and a great wind dispersing it: anything but... until i "conjured up": bilingualism to offset their schizophrenic superstitions and then: hands folded: twinkle toes busy thumbs fiddling... what explanation was there? kosher humanism coming to bite back at the psychiatric establishment? oh i went through this romancing the sad mental nut job case: so many poems: pointless... but if someone who hasn't been diagnosed as: leaves clues for someone who has been misdiagnosed as: for someone's reason of summation: his diagnostic relief was never my acceptance of pigeon + hole = eureka! philosophy like poetry is something quiet different: a poem a day keeps the psychiatrist away... until you sort of become one, unofficially, without prescriptive iron maidens of white pearly dough for zombie(s)... read enough and you get to start reading people: it's almost like an X-men mutant superpower... almost... read enough books and you get to read people.

you get these: "types" in the security industry:
too much PTSD
and not enough ADHD
former army types: almost typos:
as they stress their credentials of life lived
governed by the jobs they
performed: adhered to or not... whatever:

i'm still so bummed out about
getting a Green Day t-shirt:
it feels so "uncool"
unlike getting a Red Hot Chili Pepper t-shirt...
i feel so bummed out
just out of FOMO: fear of missing out:
i didn't miss out on anything
beside this guy running up to me
and telling me his cousin (female)
smothered him with two punches
one punch shy of him returning
the favor...

    oh jeez those pretentious former army
boys who talk about work ethic
my tongue is a razor but i hold it back
trying to explain to them:
but all you did is prance and make postures
in uniform
but have you guy did any actual:
productive work?
i feign... i wasn't a roofer for 20 years
but enough to know:

what's the army without
the construction industry?
what is the security industry: without people
who know how the construction
industry operates?
seriously?!
these army guys: protection from what
what wars what what what?!
Iraq was pretty ******* safe
as was Libya... now what?
boasting boas in peacock attires
like: i know i'm a traffic cone - at the end of
the day:

some visible divisible incognito: i-what i-who
have-i:

           yes: that too!
but oh jeez who might want to play politics
with the street cleaners
or the fad of punk as music
like otherwise: conformist because
the money started coming in?
best "punk": no punk alive or one poet
poo with some glee at the simple
effort to scribble: doodle-blah-blah...

these army guys working in the security
industry are funny:
because they never worked
in the construction industry
they tend to think that civilians are these:
anti-motivational anti-organizational
typos: of types of people...

and the bullies...
this is the perfect industry to study people:
to watch people:
you can become a class A psychiatrist
working in this industry and having
enough patience
to allow people to: EXFOLIATE
into their modus "ad hoc" operandi...
if: you have enough due dilligence
to also study for self-worth on the side:

learn some Latin some Katakana and
infuse it with a: huh?! "concerning"
cuneiform...

man... i'm so bummed out about getting
that Green Day t-shirt...
i wanted to do the Pearl Jam gig
and get a t-shirt for my debilitated uncle
with two swimming pools worth of brain
and eyes of water in his memory
but... jeez: i'm force-listening to Green Day
and i hated punk from the get go:
come to think of it:

i'm no music fan
with a playlist that these days invokes
Faun, German folk, Wumpscut,
Fiendflug, Wardruna,
                     Eivør Pálsdóttir,
            Heilung: most of this stuff is stashed
in the metal section at the record store:
since folk: neo-
is not a "thing" or chapter: in a music store
beside reggae electronica
classical jazz and other "black" music:
whitey boyo tunic in ethno-grime of folk
is relegated to the obscurity of metal...

            fine fine: my peeve is still with the army
guys who don traffic cone yellow jackets
with that sort of post-army audacity:
preferential treatment?
never worked in construction?
ever?
           ever shoot a blank ***-by-ya?!
i once managed to ******* with a semi-limp
****: climaxed like a girl ******* herself...


eh... sigh... insert no onomatopoeia:

      those army guys in security are somewhat: funny...
protestant work ethic what?!
protestant work ethic what?!
the immigrants you bring in while
you waste on social media rot?

bang bara boom! i'm on the internet:
IN OUT:
quick: snap!
in and out...
                      
                ex army guys having a hard time
to do any other job that might
make them...
             called "assured hilarity" of sequences
of cures without allergies...
   when an ex army tells an ex construction
worker: behold! the demeaning more: more of
nothing like: outlasted the generals
and grand chess masters by
filing all the proper paperwork...

          i wish i could also boast like so
in the open about a former path in life...
                  i would still be in construction:
if i didn't begin working there
with my father:
who...                    for lack of the better word:
claimed quality assurance: perfection:
cloning of: half and half but all in due
to work...

                  these army guys are: funny...
psychiatry? well: do i need qualifications
on that front
to dish out mind numbing obesity
inducing white paraphernalia of pills
or just conversational prompts
without any attachment to hierarchy:
how's that for starters?

              am i not? a priest a psychiatrist
a poet
because why the hell am i so open
to so many conversations and some of them
seemingly "too" intimate that:

          yellow vest protests in France: traffic cones
arise! ha ha...

     regardless: too many trigger-happy bullies
in this industry:
3 years and counting and i have yet
to make a physical intervention
when ejecting someone from the premises:
sweet talk them out of
whatever the hell they were about to do...
point of honor? hardly:
i think about violence as much
as ***:

*** is violence
*** is violence:
but for there to be pleasure from
*** the violence has to
be "violent"...
tamed... measured...
as i keep telling whoever asks:
but we're sober
and these guys are drunk:
that's... such an unfair advantage
and i know the ****-pants
boys who take added measures
and learn martial arts
to suppose: "protect" them should
any physical confrontation come their way?

me: sweet tongue of Eden and cider
each confrontation i've had
i managed to slither in
and end with a hug a handshake
and a sorry:
do i like doing this job?
i like the weird hours
and the commute and the days in between
where i can choke a blank piece
of paper with ******* cognitive junk: juice...

i'm waiting though:
to get my hands *****:
i'm still waiting for
that moment of clarity
in the saying of the Joker:
an unstoppable force and an immovable
object...

which is not true:
since any object can be moved
regardless of an existence of a force
given the fairyland of telepathy
and Sisyphus' punishment was all
the more telepathic requiring Rodin
to sculpt the Thinker
than any actual repetitive toil:
or at least that's how i found Sisyphus:
thinking about the stone:
sitting on top of it:
rather than finding that old gods a bit
******* clueless concerning
Prometheus: no... not the fire was the gift:
but the cunning and ingenuity:
the spark: not the actual fire...

          ah these ex army guys working security...
fair enough if they actually started
a security company
but to be working in high viz jackets
with half-citizens of elsewhere:
must be demeaning: not to be wearing
adored by women: eh? uniforms...

          if i were too from the grand bearskin
balancing acts of too many dishes stacked
on my bead and in red jackets
and black trousers
passing out on high noon in June parades
for the Emperor of Japan to come over
and admire: ah! si! si! zee numbers!

         i just changed vests from construction
to security and:
lucky me for not being a brain surgeon
and claustrophobic in genius
and precision
                 or claustrophilic: that is:
with gods head aflame
about to go cycling drunk and... somehow:
somehow! actually ******* mind the traffic
and just with mouth agape
watch and exclaim:

how did some of these people
pass and have: a driving license?!
and weren't the RAF pilots drunk as skunks
combating amphetamine high
insomnia Luftwaffe? last time i heard:
the drunks outwitted the 8s ***** for eyes
coming from Bavaria.

p.s. Frank Zappa became
so disillusioned with music
that his one notable outlet
was Bulgarian folk...
               likewise: i've become disillusioned
with music that i'm seeking
alternative motives to ingest: digest
sound... it's no longer music:
sound... although i have salvaged some
aura of pretentiousness
with the help of silence:
although: you can't really conjure up:
"hearing": "silence"...

can you?

and when Qais blacked out after a sporadic
moment of "malnutrition"
on a Ramadan bout of "purification":
o.k.: i get the medieval insistence
on the practice, esp given the desert environment
but now: it almost feels like
a stance: albeit i know, i know: it's not that
but in this other kind of desert
of concrete, jungle, concrete:

            anyways: apparently he was calling
me for me or he imagined
i was the face he saw... but i was: "miles" away
yet...
   so it's not even about being "re" educated
when it comes to foreign cultures, peoples,
i'm not going to write **** poetic immigrant
ballads about not fitting in:

as i told: let's call him Richard...
a West Indian: although Indian is hardly
a way to describe...
so now collaborative effort on both parties
involved...
a sensitive topic, considering the bleaching
of history
and how i love Heidegger and his obsession
with historiology:
his, is a writing: filled with allusive -
let's say metaphor-morphing:
i love how he understand his own writing
and the reader: is not supposed to:
like Nietzsche predicted:
the German ethos of idiosyncratic
endeavor:
       even in Thuringia they were spelling
out to the English hooligans
a "welcome home" party slogans

          because Brexit happened because
the Polish plumbers got the better of them:
so i was telling "Richard":
there was once a "thing" called a:
protestant work ethic...
which is not to admit to drinking too much
alcohol on the job...
or the night prior:
           even i don't do that...
but there was such a "thing"...
even...                                          now...
but Brexit happened because
the Slavs "invaded" Europe: or were merely:
neighborly: brotherly: well, apparent: **** that!

so the Empire imploded
and there was no Hippy Regeneration
no Trail of Cid and Acid
and multi-color versat: versing: shortening:
quickened: equipping...

Qais... 21... such a tenderness in man:
wants to bulk up... Hulk mode...
weighing in at 90kg...
give it time, Qais, gravity and time...
by the time you're 40 you'll put on weight
some of it will be useless
like the grudge i now have for cycling
is...

                     just ******* impossible to
deviate from...
i want to canoe, ******* paddle...
then i saw a glimpse of evolution
in the origins of the Polynesian people
a glimpse a ***** a blink
a Thai wink
in this: "brute": and it coincided with:
well thanks for the olives (and skin)
but where did you get your HASEL:
not hustle: HUSSEL? no, not Husserl...
hassle... ah: hassle not hassel:

glum eat the vowel: 'sle not fish netting
'sel
                by what date? sell by?
well...
                    DAHOMEY & ASHANTI

perfectly honest: i don't understand why
these English folk put up with
Sudanese Ahmed(s)
who s.p.e.l.l. out the stink of India
and Israeli skunk bombs
with terms like: NOT ABORIGINAL
but native and PUNK is butter is cute
is like: nothing rebellion against
the tectonic status quo of people
like water constantly: constant "being" born
and "being" dead...
like this preserved instance
in a format of a democratic fashion
exemplified with: squandering the use
of these idle tools of communication:

my grandfather Joseph would be proud
i hate being told
like no other ****** would be told
just endeared with "mr trouble"
but the moment i give Qais
a ******* 10min runner ahead
to catch the train i'm involved with
c.c.t.v. paranoia like the "almighty"
control room doesn't see how
i do my verk...
    
       because that's how shifts go
and how people get all ******* friendly
at work: then start whatsapp groups
and try doubly friendly to be
boss ***** and poor poor pooh bears
and that's just ******* disgusting
i'm not in high school but: there's the yard

one bourbon two bourbons
the kingdom of Burgundy and that was
me ******* into the cup of wine
to spike the aging fruit of garden
and Jerusalem
feeding me happy thoughts...
because new serpent arrived
without an apple but a morphed bunch
of grapes and some fudge packing
**** into bread
resurrected on the crucifix

at least i know that Islam is a religion
for men
and i can't be doing with this
hijacking of words with images
that culminated in emoticons under
the banner of Christianity:
i think i'm smarter than to have to adhere
to Christianity
this religion that's zenith came without
but with the Exodus into Dust of Auschwitz...
and clearly: no one panicked
or picked up on the slaughter
since so much was "achieved" given
the numbers...
now i will clearly spot a few Watermelons
gleeful in my scribble and:
no matter...

              i stopped admiring the American
intellectual English this is just my
Lingua of the commerce of ideas some will
go no further than the sputnik of ****
i flush down the toilet
while jerking off over a could-be Madonna
such a pretty face
but such ugly **** and stomach cramps
when reaching ****** with multiple dudes
and ******

*** some amphetamine vitamin numbing...

i'm still so bummed out about
getting a Green Day t-shirt
from the shift...

do you know your enemy...
do you know your enemy...

sad story about Qais: 21... already
traumatized by women
had a girlfriend and a *******
but still a ******:
was accused of ****
the girl wasn't a ****** but probably
wanted a notch on her girth:
hardly a belt... smacker: push a plum
into a piece of bread:
but him: unwilling became a HASHTAG
memorandum of: dangerous loop...

origins of ****** dynamic failure:
too many drugs now i'm
waiting for the death of the last Holocaust
survivor like i'm waiting
for the last instigator of the 1960s revolution...
when Paul "the pauper don" McCartney
and McCarthy are but recycled newspaper
click-baits: i'll go swimming with the alias:
skinny: for naked...

       i think i might just feel fine: then...
until then:
Qais... i don't suppose i can recommend
you an objective-affection for loss of sentiment
for emotions when having ***:
with prostitutes?

     but why the **** do people speak to me
so openly
then i remember those little ****** and little *****
bothered about social hierarchies and
climbing ranks
and i'm reminded by the demeaning language
they use concerning the roles
they once filled and it's so ****
sad
makes me want to think about being
a garbage man or a poet:
apparently a Swiss entrepreneur would know
how to understand what poet is these
days: a LOSER or NOT a fifty shades
of grey scribbler:            but that's just fine
i'm sort of happy not having
to laugh out loud into his face...

it's a slow burn sort of erosion type of
happiness...

          but i will never "feel" English among
Englishmen and i will never "think"
to be Polish among the Polacks - the John
Lackland luster of history:
sold a land for paupers and Gypsies...
and then bold: behold: bowed and blew
into split grass shafts for lack of proper flutes...

so demeaning that i didn't learn
how to whistle by putting *******
into my mouth:
but sure as **** i managed to teach myself
how to regurgitate doing the same
and whenever overeating
i will resort to a now perfected reflex
of the oesophagus: BLURP BURP BLAH...

but i still feel suffocated by:
well who knows who's right side of a WHIM
i will wake up on and what
sort of SPASTIC MR FANTASTIC
SUPERDYSLEXICMENSCH
will find my writing and achieve a realization
dynamo of: OFFENCE OFFENCE!

i believe that: if the Chinese government
and the Moscow Mongols
are not after my skin:
any attack from the Western Echo Ethos
is more likely to give this feeble dream
of democracy and freedom:
otherwise pandering to the loud-mouth cripples:
even i have to queue even
i have to commute but SPEZIAL TREATS
for SPAZ is like: glory to god the sun is shining
on four wheels and aubergines
contortions in cubism... alive...

because: just because: someone had no
******* clue about the dangers of ***
so they had *** anyway...
sitting in a brothel contemplating STDs...
perplexed: so how come i haven't had any?
personal hygiene?
that's a good start...
            maybe i'm more of a cat or a dog
and i'm sort of able to lick my *******...
although i can't:
but maybe i'm just surrounded by these horrors
and find myself imbecilic
not having to deal with such instances
of being accused of ****...

              so there was Walt Whitman
and i'm dry on pride:
just don't have the stomach of being forcefed
a sexuality
my own is distraught by the distance
from London to Kauai
and i'm not about to go "hunting" for some
fertile 20 year old
just bored of the conversation
just not: having one...

                 the ****** revolution (supposed,
"revolution") brought nothing but
a deepening of: anti-resolve to the revolving
glitter of moon and earth around
a star of many
                       and i'm... not about to start:
but happy to know that other people
will breed indefinitely in grey
to the matter of fact of: like everyone
might need a plumber or a bus driver some
day: like tomorrow...

as long as "we" persuade all those nurses
to stop dancing and making TikTok videos
miming sirens...
                          even writing this: *****.

the UMRAH: not the HAJJ... squeeze some melons for the Muslims of Pakistan: wonder upon wonder: so anti-climatic when people move up in hierarchies, while i'm still stuck talking about the disparity of quest: between the UMRAH and the HAJJ. i'd love to see Rome, having seen Venice...

and a girl who loves stones
  and such big ***
but beside the big *** and watermelon ****
i guess that if i stop ******* her
i'll get to talk to her and that's like BARCELONA
      HIM HI HI HIM HIM anti-dementia...

i don't man: i'm getting bummed out
completely bummed out
by the focus on me this great yawning
void on the train
just managed to play the commuter
chess right
and sat down after standing up for
12h
and this guy
this ginger blonde 70 year old
drunk or pretending started talking politics
and religion
and he said
i had better chances of being
a priest than a politician
and then he uttered those words: pointing
at others on the carriage:
then to me:
you're a "good man"...

am i, a man?
i feel in this ******* revolution
i'm a mind in a jar
and an ego of a pickle
in *****
i feel unsafe talking my mind
in England
i'd feel less paranoid in China
and Russia
talking about nothing
and God respectively

i am actually scarred, mentally:
i feel unsafe with the BIG ****
BRIGADE
desecrating the Rainbow:
i've seen a rainbow arch above
a soft prison in Kauai
when i was leaving her
to then be reunited with her...

watched some French **** today
and...
well also took a **** and ****
simultaneously
then had a baptism
in the shower
the plumber ****** up the veins
of the hydro channels
a2 aq
aqua

bromance...
Qais
he sneezed and i said bless
you then he replied
with: thank you
i had another Pakistani
in the classroom
who stunted the universe
and the classroom
when upon sneezing
his ISLAM was STRONG
upon sneezing
BLESS YOU
no reply...

  the ISLAM is STRONG with this ONE
a Muhammad Salmaan Khan...
one ****- to another -stani
i don't get it

then my "manager" got my cognitive
wrong
i had a flick-switch
innuendo:

i abhor:
people glad with life
what did the devil say:
T.S. Elliott: juvenile Sylvia
Plath but not the former...
reading poetry depresses me
i get into this melancholic mood
like a member of
my family is drool and doom
O
roll!
rolling O: oooooooooo

i have no time for a typewriter
and being an all female
cast of cinematic casters...
no sugar, baby, no sugar,
i just thought about the trinity
of kissing you while
also ******* you

i felt bummed out about not working
a Pearl Jam shift
and the whole traffic cone
work hierarchy dynamic
became an inflated
Collective-Ego courier Da-Sein postage stamp
: stamped:

the work dynamic i asked
if Lisa was there
but instead Quebec Romeo
and Quebec Yankee:
were there:
but over the radio no Quebec Sue and
Bravo: Gravitas: blue:
zone:
              muddle in my brain:
hence enforcing the cryptic:

   YHWH cf. not vs. LLH

    A E                         A A

and little serpent: a - little - serpent

but i just spent £40 on a Green Day t-shirt
i was not supposed to be
the man listening
to the commuter drunk Dutch:
a male primary school teacher
met his wife
in Glastonbury
festival
have a picture
of the girl's friend taking a photograph
before he walked up and
chatted her up
the Q: uestioner:
math prodigy:
a data analyst
currently unemployed
looking to become an AIRPLANE PILOT
where has my middle leg
of the dream-moth
of middle class in England gone to?

cordon 11:
alley of the Zig Zag
i hate working Wembley
externally:
air of Nepotism
i'd feel safer in China and Russia
right now...
the dogs are barking
and the birds are safe
from all the serpents they once
were: dodo: transition ERASING
TRANSISTOR
UNIT
process: like electricity:

insomnia bound daydreaming
of the purpose of night
to sleep

let me just catch the rhythm
again: no classical no flutes
air benders
just music working around a heart-beat...

taxidermy - oh wow! the correct
spelling: but what was the incorrect spelling?
daxidermi_                    maybe...

habibi UNK'L GANDU
i just want peace
i just want peace
but i know there will be a great upheaval
in that Classical Liberal Leftism
has failed
and it's so miserable to watch
a second
best hide the vowels?

nd t's msrbl wtch... that: took concentration
can speed up the process
in Hebrew among the gods
given that people
speak more two animals
than they do
to their own imaginings:
but were the gods ever so denegrated
desecrated in the Temple of Dyslexia
and girls learning to speak Arabic
but not understanding Arabic

i've only watched 2 matches from the Euros...
maybe i can get the athletes on my side:
project: hip: anti-hippy
i am sad because i bought a Green Day
t-shirt
i was supposed to buy a Pearl Jam
t-shirt for Martin, St. sort of cucumber
and amnesia
like all *** is gone
and there is only conversation:
how we lusted:
wasted:
wanted: waged wars
WARC and WARX
these crucifix incursions:

and look where that left us:
          
   BUT DO YOU N'TAKE
INSTRUCTIONS:
it's a ****** job i told the three black
youths:
i'm not rummaging: yes i am:
a sketch pad...
but i couldn't just:

help me out: dark cloud...

        some powerful with mind
in bed
better than sunshine and surf
and tongue on the glee tempting sea
all rot in sun and skin
performance ******...
  like people junkies esp young girls
i just don't under-
-stand
why get druggie with little peeps
but somehow discourage Reyla
from the bloom...

                        got bummed for buying
the Green Day t-shirt...
i don't even like then
but it had the dates of touring
and i was working
that terrible Green blacker
than the greenest courget
and i was talking to this West African
and about slavery
and island vs city life
and the unavailability of reference
cursors:
with people left behind:
scared of the world:
and STASIS and TIME

           and like i came over when i was 8
year old and
didn't know a tooth from tongue
in terms of speech:
ridiculed for P'UH M'AH
instead of PYOO M'AH...
and that still rubs when someone's
a no one telling you their yours of
the usage of tongue:

that: sends me: SKYROCKETING
that **** makes me summon DEMONS!
then i want as much
carnage in the world
to counteract the Buddhist perfection:
of concerning oneself
with the Oceans
Mountains
Deserts....

            forests and plateaus...
the wheat that is...
         are not my concern: a concern for the people:

Lyndon: you got the timing wrong!
i was about to take down
those rucksacks
when you weren't supposed to:
do a walk around...

    i just wanted to amass at least three
so that people would get "the idea":

prophets of June:
Qais reminded me
something i forgot:

Judaism is a religion of cosmopolitans
probably high achieving couples,
Christianity a religion of females
Islam a religion of males
Atheism and Buddhism
a religion of Eunuchs

i don't like what i write
i don't like what sometimes passes
through me: but like digestion
until improved the improvised
lactose intolerant
then...                        mmm'heh'heh...

       ­      to the echo of demons
gearing up for war...
              only war will salvage me
in the hyper-conscious realization
that life:
is:

                                       SPECIAL:
spatial: spazz:            

                                          **
­
leverage the time-spatial
and the space-temporal...

              as a coin flicker on the kicked
by thumb to flick and late fate:
decide: no rigid dualism:

just rigid, random: chance: fate
an unwilling: luck.

would have never thought that the gods became: also, so bored: with the intelligence of human life, that they would resort to being the Lesser Privy: and settle for gambling: so bored thus current upsurge of Psy Hack Understudy like the deviation from breeding Lawyers: this the breeding ground for Poetic Anti Journalistic Efforts...
           could it please be reminded:
not to look at me so weirdly:
when i'm at work
because i do my work elsewhere
and no manner or matter or hierarchy will
ever, disrupt: my origins of CONCERN:
which, unlike Heidegger: i mumble
because: covertly:

        NOT, CONTEMPT:
CONCERN:
        that's the whereabouts:
whoever thought Heidegger was X...
here's my: ******* nein nein nein
ADOLF ****** HEIDEGGER
SEIG HEIL!
i wil not live, under, the pressures,
of a, pseudo-democratic: GAY: FEAR!
PRIDE: up your ***...
and your *** alone...

               I WILL LIVE IN PEACE
AND QUIET
UNDER GOD AND NOTHING

i will live in peace in China
and in Russia
but i: will not!
live with peace in my heart!
in the western world-culture: ETC!
i have had...

                         ...enough.