I've come to realize that no one knows. No one knows a **** thing on this earth.
They don't know what it's like to be you.
Nor will they ever understand.

No one can see what's deep beneath my heart. Some try to rummage through my body or scratch the surface of my skin attempting to find it my lungs, in my ribs, in my soul.

But where it lies is in my mind.
For these are where my fears reside.
The center and roots of my problems.

My thoughts are ones to ****. And they make their way each day down to my soul scratching. Trying to break open the barrier. They are darkness attempting to conquer my soul. To capture and enslave it. They play tricks and toil with me. Making me believe that this is the only way out. They strangle my lungs and force my ribs to crush the very thing it is trying to protect...
My heart.

My hands each day reach out to the universe. Hoping something will grab me and pull me up but each day I get a little bit further out.
Soon the black will consume me.
And I'll be too far to reach.
Suspended in darkness too bleak to see.


But nobody knows.
No one will ever know what it's like to be me.

-a.