at first i did not realize what you meant when you said 'i love you'. i thought you'd said it because you knew just how vulnerable i was to you. you knew what i felt was real. but what you did wasn't you were hiding behind a mirror that only reflected the love i had for you. the things that weren't really there. i did love you i shouldn't have but i do not regret kissing you that night under the lamppost and i do not regret staying in my room all day long with you but i do regret that first kiss by the ball field the night you vowed you would never stop loving me. the night that i was truly undoubtedly beautiful to you i felt that. but now i feel nothing for you. you were the closest thing I've felt to true love and definetly the closest to heartbreak. for months i couldn't breathe my eyes were the red of blood my checks were puffy as clouds my skin was salty and id lost all passion for mascara because it only seemed to run down my face within minutes of applying it. i laid in bed nearly all day i couldn't move or speak you had shattered me and here i am being you're friend watching you kiss her watching you hold her hand and watching you love her. but i don't feel pain anymore. i feel something worse i feel empty