I was a little girl yesterday morning, With a flash of red hair and a gap-toothed grin Laughing and playing on the swing at my favorite park. I was a confused pre-teen that afternoon, Scraping her knees on jagged insults Holding in tears for secret bathroom visits Where she would push her fingers Into her throat and Pray on her knees that her lunch would Reappear like a magic trick. I was a scared teenager by evening, Kissing girls and running away from The demons in my head with voices That sounded like my mother’s. By midnight I was on the floor shaking, Back to twenty, back to who I am now Wishing those past me’s would understand that I needed Something more. Yet this morning I sat up in my bed and greeted the sun with a Flash of red hair and a close-gapped grin And I am here now, Here remembering, being present and Knowing who I was Ten years ago twelve years ago fifteen years ago five minutes ago Is exactly who I needed to be, Doing exactly what I needed to do. Scraping my knees and elbows And pushing my finger down my throat And feeling ugly all the time, That’s not what I needed but it’s Who I was Who I couldn’t stop being because I Didn’t know how. In my mind, I am not That little girl, that preteen, that teenager I am me. I am Bumping and bruising and Breaking, sometimes, along the way but this Is where I stand. And those past selves stand Hand-in-hand somewhere along The equator of my brain Like paper dolls unfolded Through my history.