I deal with problems In a funny way and maybe it's because I'm selfish but My own problems devour me If someone I care about "Burdens" me (as they would say) with their problems It sort of drowns out my problems Which is a good thing Because no matter how loud I scream No matter if I have shrieked in terror, loathing, and misery Until my throat is raw At my problems I. Can. Still. HEAR. THEM. But to hear of someone else’s life That is far worse than I could ever imagine It drowns out those voices in my head …but last time I didn’t handle it well. That was my fault I should have been trustworthy enough Not to make it worse I should have been a good friend But I WASN’T! I KEPT HER COMPANY IN HER PRISON CELL, THE ONE SHE CALLS HER MIND AND THAT WAS MY FAULT I WILL NEVER EVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR THAT I should have anchored myself to the shore And kept her alive, and above the surface In the light But I didn’t I just drowned with her Down in the darkest depths I just dragged her down farther And I will admit At the moment I am not on shore But I am not in an ocean, like her I am treading water In the nearest lake And after last time, I don’t blame her for a second for not telling me I don’t deserve to be trusted But last time we were both in the ocean I think I just have trouble handling it when we are both in the same type of trouble This time I am just struggling to stay afloat in a lake Lakes are nice Less of a big deal I’m fine Really I will have good days and bad days in this lake But really, I’m fine Now that she has trusted me enough To tell me her problems If she is in an ocean And I am in a lake There is a stretch of land between us If knowledge of secrets are chains Running from her, to shore, to me Then maybe I can help to keep her afloat this time I will keep her afloat this time I promise I will I hope that she can trust me enough From now on To tell me her problems Because this time is different There is always potential For it to get dark again But that is only If I learned absolutely nothing from last time And I promise I certainly learned a lot I can handle it It hurts me far, far more To not know what is bringing her down It breaks my heart to think She is afraid to dump all her problems on me Because I want her to dump all her problems on me It drowns out my own And it makes me aware And I just want to help her I really just want to help her Not like last time I want another chance To be trusted with everything The way it used to be To be trusted with all of the burdens Because this time I won’t ***** it up I won’t let the burden crush me too It’s like if someone hands you 30 pounds You might fall if you weren’t expecting it But this time I know to expect it and how to not let it crush me Please I just want to be trusted To have learned enough not to let it just get dark again between us I want to be trusted with all the burdens Because I can take it It won’t trigger me I understand if you keep things from me And I will never be angry with you for it But it hurts me so much more Not to know Please trust me again. Please.