For me it's like suddenly nothing matters any more and trying to do anything becomes impossible. It makes me feel numb sometimes so I cut to feel, or its makes me so anxious and I cut to calm myself.
Other times it makes the stupidest things seem so incredibly important. Makes me unable to cope and worry about everything, makes me paranoid that everyone hates me.
It makes me consider suicide, makes me want to disappear and never be seen again. It makes me want to rip my hair out and peel back my skin. It makes me want to be someone else anyone else.
Then it goes away for a little while and I feel calm again, I feel like I can cope and I feel like suddenly I'll be okay, everything will be fine. Then like a strong cloud it comes back and ruins everything.
I wanted to write something personal about what my depression feels like.