I dreamed about you for what
May have been the first time.
You were explaining something
To me, preparing to leave.
I held you close against me,
And we played footsie.

I wrote a song and a poem.
I told my brother Jordan
That it was unlike
Anything I've ever written.
How proud of it I was.

You hoped for a new life
Outside of Florida.
Now you have it.

I never wanted
You to leave.
I couldn't do anything  
To stop you, or
Persuade you to stay.

You said we should
Stay in touch
Through letters.
The birthday card
You sent me last year
Is in my drawer, still.

I was a companion,
And a lousy mate,
Not a boyfriend.
I could have been.

I could have
Taken that title.
We could have
Played the dating
Game together.
We could have
Risked losing.

I chose to wait for a
More ideal candidate.
She never arrived,
As far as I know.

We had a few
Heated arguments.
The last stemmed
From my ignorance
In an area I believed
I should have been
Knowledgeable in.

I have a tendency
To be an ignorant
Know it all,
To have difficulty
With simple things.

You wanted to
Meet my grandma,
and I was afraid that
It would not go well,
Mainly due to the
Color of your skin.

Your mother encouraged
Me to talk to her about it,
To divulge to her what
Your friendship meant to me.

I decided against it.
At least you briefly
Met my mother who
You thought was nice.

I was angry when
You broke undesirable
News to me, in spite of it,
I would have never
Abandoned our friendship.

Nearly two years later,
And I still have
To be informed,
It's been long overdue.
I know I've already
Said this before,
But I will be soon.

I don't know if you'll ever read this,
And I don't know if I'll ever see
Or hear from you again.