Who brings young girls to life
Who speaks in Savoir faire
Who looks a pure delight
In Calvin's underwear

Who has a body of
The latest in Greek Gods
Who gets the job well done
With a wink and a nod

Who is G.Q. classified
With the bluest of blue eyes
Who has no blemishes
In the perfect camera light

Who is this mortal man
The crowds all bow down to
Who has the golden tan
That you can't get in Duluth

Who brings his entourage
When he goes out for a walk
Who has the whitest smile
With no need to talk

Who has the pouty frown
With the perfect lip
Who wears the bathing suit
But never takes a dip

Who is every young girls dream
Who'd they like to wake up to
Who's clothes have the perfect seam
Who's picture makes them drool

Who has the style we want
The gold tips in his hair
The only question is
Why do we really care