my problem is that
when i look into your eyes
i see the ocean
and the sky mashed into a beautiful masterpiece
i try to notice your pupils
to see how they dilate
but i can’t help but wonder all the things those pupils have dilated for.
when you smile
my world comes crashing in
because your smile has the same effect as when you stare at the sun for too long
(blinded but you can’t look away)

so my problem is that
when i stare at your hands
i think of all the blood flowing through your veins
and all the possible reasons
why your veins protrude so much in your arms
and i can’t quite figure out if it’s because your heart can’t decide
how fast or slow it wants to beat
or if it’s because you have gardens growing in your organs
and you just don’t know it yet

my problem is that
i see the world inside of you
and i think when you leave
i’ll end up seeing you inside the world
the ocean and the sky will be your eyes
and all the memories of me looking into them
and the night time
will be me hoping you’re somehow looking back
(thinking about me)
when you’re gone
i’ll stare at the sun
in hopes of feeling like i do when you smile at me

my problem is that
you’re leaving
and i don’t think anyone else will have organs covered in all the possible things a person can have in their garden
because once your gone
every garden will remind me of you
every sky
every ocean
every star
every sun
will remind me of just how much i love you
and how hard it will be to live without you




t.t (10:42 p.m)