I have a tendency to have less control over my mind than most people.
My mind often has intrusive thoughts that I don't want anymore.
Because now more than anything else I want to live.
But sometimes part of me still want to die.

Usually I can chop it off quickly, and regenerate good again.
This summer I wasn't so lucky.
After two years of being almost normal, I broke again.
If you hadn't been there I honestly don't know where I'd be.

Our time spent together, the moments we had helped me.
We grew close, and thanks to you I wasn't alone with myself all the time.
I am so grateful for your help and love. If you hadn't been there I think there's a good chance I would have tried to die again.

Now I'm not there to be with you. I want to be more than anything. Seeing you sad makes me hurt because I know you're one of the kindest people I'll ever meet. I wish I could help you more than I am. I wish I could take your pain away. But I can't. So for now, I will help you as much as I know how. You deserve the world. One day someone will give you that.