it's hard for me to realize you're actually gone. you died 3 months and 2 days ago, but it still feels surreal. why am I here and you're not? gladly I would trade places with you. at times like these, I feel a weight on me. it's pressing down on me, my hands are heavy, I can't open my mouth, I'm completely stuck. I repress the memory of death and live as if you're still here, but then the time comes when I want to call you want to tell about my day want to tell you how my junior year is going I want to show you my homecoming dress I want to tell you about the girl I love tell you how great my grades are but I can't. you're gone and I can't bring you back but I don't know when I'll finally accept that.