I am sinking

I am sinking.
My boat cannot keep me steady much longer.
And the gulls that dance too close to the sails remind me
Much of what I do to you,
When sleep is beckoning my eyelids
And my heart comes pouring
Out my mouth in unfiltered honesty And mixed up sentences.
The summer storms throw the rain that feels like fire on my skin--
I welcome it.
But it makes it very hard to see
Which way to steer,
And if I want to go that direction,
Anyway.
Perhaps,
If the clouds become too dense,
And I am thrown from the buoy
I tried to cling to,
I will drown.
Beneath the caresses and kisses
And late nights spent tangled in the sea.
I do not wish for the surface,
I would like to drown.