written March 23, 2013

"It's not fair
How one can make your heart beat hesitantly when he's not even in your presence
Just one single thought
Or memory
Or picture
Reminding you of the person you used to be
Happy and loved
and now...
People always why you're so quiet all the time
Or why you seem sad
And even though it's blind to you, to others they see the person you have become
Broken and lonely
It's no wonder you sit at home and torture yourself
With his pictures and thoughts
Just to get a small memory
To remind you of those feelings you once felt
Before everything went wrong
When you were the person you wish to be now
And it's not fair
Because he sits at home
With no memory or thought
Just presence in front of him
No past, no feelings
And you sit here and wonder if he's moved on
Or if he even cared in the first place
And it's not fair
To have to sit through this and think
That he didn't care at all
While you remember all the smiles he put upon your face
Or the way he kissed your lips for the first time
Sitting on that bench, after the first date
What a wonderful date it was
And it's not fair
To hear my own thoughts rush through my head
While his are silent
And I lie here, tears dripping down my face
While he's sleeping peacefully
Without a thought
Without a memory
Without me"