I sit in a flimsy plastic chair that squeaks at the slightest movement, Ana stands because it burns more calories and says I should do the same My arms are folded over my chest, slouching and brooding The bracelet Ana bought me sounds like shackles when I move The wedding band on my finger weights more than I do "Why are you here today?" Our therapist asks "She's been cheating on me with that **** Mia!" Ana yells "I already told you it didn't mean anything. We were broken up then." My explanation makes her angrier though and she snaps, "You just can't handle commitment!" I've heard her use this voice multiple times and a list of all the insult circumnavigates my brain Stupid Ugly Worthless Never good enough Unlovable Pathetic Fat Fat FAT "You call this uncommitted?" I point to my stomach which growls on cue Our therapist asks how long we've been together I say over 2 years Ana says we've been together my whole life I tell him she's abusive "It doesn't look like she's done that much damage" He notes When the hours up Ana walks to the door I tell her I just need a minute I turn to our therapist who's already packing up "Please help me. I need to get our of this relationship now!" He ***** his head up as if it's the simplest answer in the world, "Then why don't you just eat?"
Ana= Anorexia Mia= Mia My bulimia's gone and has turned back into my old friend Ana hence this poem.