Sep 2014
The footprints of past love haunt my present
I don’t have many fears but I fear never getting over her.
Is she the one for me?
Will I ever find another?
I pester myself until my brain burns out like a speeding race car that doesn’t stop at its repair station.
And speaking of race cars..
The thought of my past love gets my heart beating faster than any out there at top speed.
The thought of her makes me crash and burn and it’s ironic because i love her ..but i don’t need her..at least that’s what my brain makes me believe.
My heart on the other hand, yanks at every single cell in my body because that’s what I promised and that’s what I loved her with…EVERY SINGLE CELL IN MY BODY.
Those fortunate strokes of serendipity from when we first met turned into unfortunate jabs of discomfort to my heart when she left.
Who’s to blame? ..is it her? NO! NO!
IT’S ME IT’S ME I KNOW IT’S ME.
I got too comfortable.
I tried to fight the inevitable and invariably i lost the battle.
The only thing worst than losing the battle was losing myself along with her.
I gave her nothing but my all, I gave her me.
I promise you if you look deep within her past all the facades and walls she’s created, you’ll find little old me ..hammered and burnt to ashes in the wasteland of her memories and graveyard of hearts.
MY SUICIDAL SCARS ON MY ARMS ARE NOTHING IN COMPARISON TO THE SUICIDAL SCARS AND BRUISES ON MY HEART.
WHY DO I READ YOUR STUPID TUMBLR MESSAGES AND EMAIL MESSAGES OVER AND OVER?
ALL IT DOES IS REMIND ME OF THE DREAMS THAT I SHORT-SIGHTEDLY FELL VICTIM TO.
"No matter how many times I say I hate you or tell myself that, it’ll never be true. I’ll never leave and that should be clear, even if I say it 100times, unless I really do know you want me gone or you’ll truly be happy..”
Well I guess you said it 101 times because I begged you to stay and it’s obvious that right now, I am far from happy.
I would think by now I’d be smarter but I’m not..
I’d still fall victim to slumber if it means I get to dwell in those saccharine dreams of yours …even if it won’t ever come true.
It’s ironic that I’m complaining about you because in reality I’m the most detrimental thing to my emotional state.
Slowly dip me in the hottest and largest *** of acid you can find.
Remove all 206 bones in my body one by one.
Skin me and gut me like a fish.
Use me as **** to collect another fish because obviously Deontra’ fish just wasn’t enough.
Obviously i don’t contain the nutrients you needed for nourishment.
I mean ..the nutrients she needs for nourishment.
I can barely keep the correct tenses because when you left, you left me tense.
No closure ….nothing but an open wound i had to stitch up and i hate biology so i highly doubt i stitched it correctly.
Open.
- d.b.d.
I don’t have many fears but I fear never getting over her.
Is she the one for me?
Will I ever find another?
I pester myself until my brain burns out like a speeding race car that doesn’t stop at its repair station.
And speaking of race cars..
The thought of my past love gets my heart beating faster than any out there at top speed.
The thought of her makes me crash and burn and it’s ironic because i love her ..but i don’t need her..at least that’s what my brain makes me believe.
My heart on the other hand, yanks at every single cell in my body because that’s what I promised and that’s what I loved her with…EVERY SINGLE CELL IN MY BODY.
Those fortunate strokes of serendipity from when we first met turned into unfortunate jabs of discomfort to my heart when she left.
Who’s to blame? ..is it her? NO! NO!
IT’S ME IT’S ME I KNOW IT’S ME.
I got too comfortable.
I tried to fight the inevitable and invariably i lost the battle.
The only thing worst than losing the battle was losing myself along with her.
I gave her nothing but my all, I gave her me.
I promise you if you look deep within her past all the facades and walls she’s created, you’ll find little old me ..hammered and burnt to ashes in the wasteland of her memories and graveyard of hearts.
MY SUICIDAL SCARS ON MY ARMS ARE NOTHING IN COMPARISON TO THE SUICIDAL SCARS AND BRUISES ON MY HEART.
WHY DO I READ YOUR STUPID TUMBLR MESSAGES AND EMAIL MESSAGES OVER AND OVER?
ALL IT DOES IS REMIND ME OF THE DREAMS THAT I SHORT-SIGHTEDLY FELL VICTIM TO.
"No matter how many times I say I hate you or tell myself that, it’ll never be true. I’ll never leave and that should be clear, even if I say it 100times, unless I really do know you want me gone or you’ll truly be happy..”
Well I guess you said it 101 times because I begged you to stay and it’s obvious that right now, I am far from happy.
I would think by now I’d be smarter but I’m not..
I’d still fall victim to slumber if it means I get to dwell in those saccharine dreams of yours …even if it won’t ever come true.
It’s ironic that I’m complaining about you because in reality I’m the most detrimental thing to my emotional state.
Slowly dip me in the hottest and largest *** of acid you can find.
Remove all 206 bones in my body one by one.
Skin me and gut me like a fish.
Use me as **** to collect another fish because obviously Deontra’ fish just wasn’t enough.
Obviously i don’t contain the nutrients you needed for nourishment.
I mean ..the nutrients she needs for nourishment.
I can barely keep the correct tenses because when you left, you left me tense.
No closure ….nothing but an open wound i had to stitch up and i hate biology so i highly doubt i stitched it correctly.
Open.
- d.b.d.
Before reading, please play this while reading, "Cold by Jorge Mendez".
This was my first piece of poetry and i wrote it to get over my first love because for almost 2 years ive been in love with her even after the break-up and i could not get any closure because she hated me.
This was my first piece of poetry and i wrote it to get over my first love because for almost 2 years ive been in love with her even after the break-up and i could not get any closure because she hated me.
