i asked for an inch of happiness to seed inside of me but all god gave to me was countless night of not sleeping, staring the walls seeking for remedy for my perpetual sorrow. i tried to surrender myself to the dark beneath my bed, perhaps the boogeyman could cheer me up but all i found was cobwebs, intricate as the many red strings strangling my beating heart which i am unable to untie. same goes to the radiohead tracks i religiously listen to every moment of my life, not even jonny greenwood could pull me out of the oblivion that i've cursed to dwell in. i am the embodiment of perfect misery, trapped in a state of impending doom, an hourglass that bound to shatter.

i need company but it seems that the only company that i'll ever have is solitude & loneliness
i need friends but my only friends are the ugly entities inside my head
i need everything & anything that could somehow complete the jigsaw puzzle that is my life but i have found none in between
my whole existance is bound to be warped in a blackhole, whenever i am trying my best to be on my best behaviour i am
.******
.pulled
.forced back into the impending doom of negativities that rooted inside of every fiber of my body
i am a void, an impasse.
you can't mend these wounds
don't even bother to try.