Jul 2014
I’d be lying to myself if I said I was in love with you.
and I’d be lying to myself if I said I wasn’t, too.
and I don’t know why right now I started thinking about you so intensely but I am.
and every time I see that stupid velveeta commercial,I think of you. you are gold and you make me melt.
and I hope that she treats you well and gives you everything that you need
and I hope you treat her well too.
and I hope that she bakes you homemade goods like cupcakes and cookies and brownies all the time.
I ******* miss you.
I really ******* miss you.
and I often think about driving to your house and telling you that this is where you’re supposed to be but I already know the answer to that statement and I know that it ***** and I know that I was awful sometimes and we were **** people and I know that I would do anything to make you feel like you would want me again and that *****. see the thing is is that everyone said they would stop hanging out with me if I ever got back together with you and when they ask how I feel about you I lie and say that I’m getting over it but I, not getting over it and that *****. you are this tattoo that still sting on my heart and I am trying to rip the seams of you off of my skin but it doesn’t seem to be working and something in my heart tells me to keep hanging on and to keep hold of all of these memories but I can’t. something is holding me from throwing away all the stuffed animals and love letter. so I have them in a box because sometimes my brain is right. but sometimes it’s not and I am having a hard time knowing which one to follow at this point. and I miss your laugh. I miss the way you would kiss me under fireworks every Fourth of July and hold me until I fell asleep. I miss you intensely. and right now in this moment I want to call you and ask you how you are and I am… empty. this isn’t a void some random person can come into my life and **** me senseless to change. only you, with a simple glance. god, I want you back so badly. and I ****** it up. the one person I cared about i ****** it up.
I am literally empty without you.
and I’d be lying to myself if I said I wasn’t, too.
and I don’t know why right now I started thinking about you so intensely but I am.
and every time I see that stupid velveeta commercial,I think of you. you are gold and you make me melt.
and I hope that she treats you well and gives you everything that you need
and I hope you treat her well too.
and I hope that she bakes you homemade goods like cupcakes and cookies and brownies all the time.
I ******* miss you.
I really ******* miss you.
and I often think about driving to your house and telling you that this is where you’re supposed to be but I already know the answer to that statement and I know that it ***** and I know that I was awful sometimes and we were **** people and I know that I would do anything to make you feel like you would want me again and that *****. see the thing is is that everyone said they would stop hanging out with me if I ever got back together with you and when they ask how I feel about you I lie and say that I’m getting over it but I, not getting over it and that *****. you are this tattoo that still sting on my heart and I am trying to rip the seams of you off of my skin but it doesn’t seem to be working and something in my heart tells me to keep hanging on and to keep hold of all of these memories but I can’t. something is holding me from throwing away all the stuffed animals and love letter. so I have them in a box because sometimes my brain is right. but sometimes it’s not and I am having a hard time knowing which one to follow at this point. and I miss your laugh. I miss the way you would kiss me under fireworks every Fourth of July and hold me until I fell asleep. I miss you intensely. and right now in this moment I want to call you and ask you how you are and I am… empty. this isn’t a void some random person can come into my life and **** me senseless to change. only you, with a simple glance. god, I want you back so badly. and I ****** it up. the one person I cared about i ****** it up.
I am literally empty without you.
