My Medical Inventory, or Erectile Is Not My Only Dysfunction

Scanning from the ground upward over my torso Reveals an disturbing inventory of dysfunction brachymetatarsia, in both feet! Unequal leg length Reconditioned knees Atrophied right quadriceps Hernia Scar L4 & L5 Vertebrae way too chummy Are these breasts? Are these jowls? Gum recession Moderate gastro intestinal reflux Three diopter challenge in both eyes Dermatochelassis, left and right Scintillating scotoma Male pattern baldness – rear solar panel developing. And yet when asked I reply, Oh, I’m fine! I’m fine. And you, and you, still love me.

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