Place my hand over your stomach
Your entire torso really
Just craving some physical contact

I walked along the beach in the middle of the night
My psychosis claimed me
And I became a slave to the sand behind my feet
The current running underneath
You snored along, absently
Alcohol ate you alive
And I survived

I survived

I just want to cover each grain of sand
With a tear drop
A broken heart for all the millions that scatter the earth
I don't want to sob
I want to release
A demon that's been eating at the inside of me
And then I want to laugh
I want to run
I want to fall out of breath and collapse to the ground
I want to dig and find something so remarkable
I combust at the sight
A million pieces
Becoming the sand
Cursed

I want to be nothing like my mother
And if that offends any of my followers
I am sorry
Maybe after the 4th kid
And nearly 20 years between
You stop giving a ****
But all I know
Is I have seen
The tenderness,
The sincerity,
And most delusional moments
All radiate
From the same bright blue green eyes
Frightening, spraying spit all over my face
And sadness seeped in and devoured me
I spill tears (years) as I'm writing
I was left all over
So much hate

Sometimes when I write I try to be dishonest but
What's the point when you can hear me in the next room
I wish I was someone you were proud of
I know I'm just a recluse, but
I'll raise my baby different from you


Most times when I want to hide
It's when you're showing me the most poignant parts of me
I can hear your grandson snoring

I love his sense of sleep