I think its time to begin
something that actually began
a long time ago
or so it seems
when you have 364 different adventures
between then and now
it temporarily gets pushed to the back of your brain
until something triggers it.
A similar memory
or maybe a date
The 12th of each month
its like a tick counting down
until a bomb explodes.
July comes and my thoughts are flooded
I cant seem to think about anything else.
Midnight hits.
Emotion thats been balled up through the past 364 adventures
gets released and destroys.

You see,
one year ago today
something happened;
she left this world.
Originally of her own accord
but then by deaths vengeful hand.
Her last words being "brb"
with every intention of holding up her bargain and coming back.

They say you're not supposed to blame yourself
but how cant you when you see it as your fault.
You see it as your voice and guiding hand
that landed her six feet under.

Her sister said she hit her head
and that she lost a lot of blood.
Two surgeries later...
flat lined.

I told her to calm down
that it would be okay
that 911 were just a minute away.
But she wasn't sure.
She wanted to live
and regretted her decision
of cutting the gift of life short.
She went to go check the door
with my permission
and never came back.

She fell on the way
and two days later
her soul fell to hell.

**Because of me.