I decided some time ago
To go naked from now on
It saves a lot on my laundry bill
Plus I admit it's a bit of a thrill

The town has gotten used to the absurd
Of me being  naked as a Jaybird
Although there still are ladies fainting
And lots of babies crying

There's no better feeling than letting it all hang out
Plus it gives the bridge club something to talk about
Even if it's just a little bit
Did I mention it's cold as I'm writing this?

Though I might have taken it over the edge
That day at the grocery to buy milk and bread
The cashier thought me deranged
When she saw where it was that I keep my change

One thing good came out of all of this
They treat me now like nobody's biz
Although I've never been that cheap
They now give me everything I need for free