Jun 2014
Sometimes I stop and think, “If Christ gave up, why shouldn’t I?”
There’s this haunting image of a muzzle in my mouth a flex thumb click trigger hammer snap makes spark ignite powder propel fiery lead travels lateral sever brain tissue splinter bone voyages outward and jams into ceiling brings the whole ****** mess along behind it… Then I wonder, “Whose responsibility is it to clean up that mess?? “
You see, wonder is an amusing word because those who wonder are often wanderers and those who wander are quite often the most wondrous of all!! No home no family no job; these things are what tie us to the altar just to get burned as a sacrifice to the ol’ gods of our consummate culture. Someone lights that quick fire below and ******* skin starts to boil and boil and boil I’ve heard burning flesh stinks but I’ll probably never smell it because by the time the fire dies everything else has also burned.
Tell me, what is it that makes your heartbeat double?
Is it the power that makes the grass stretch sunward or sun shimmer gold? For me, it’s her pupils as I wonder what thought might cause her fragile paper hands to shake and her clearest river eyes to water, it’s the gaunt glowing of her gaze that prompt the pen in my hand to glide at 300mph at 3:00am because I cannot cry about her anymore but this pen dares to shed endless tears of red ink all over the page all night old night bitter wind howls through this ancient, ancient oak but its felt worse wind before.
Listen, I’m lost, and I think I’ve finally lost. I lost. I lost, okay? I ******* admit it. Her empty smile now symbolizes something that spits stinging poison. Pour through my blood freeze heartbeat spasm uncontrollable spiral downward darkness hits hard hefty heaving heaven… hello ello ello llo lo o? (How boldly my inspired voice echoes unimpeded in the Cave of Madness!)
Now I’m alone except for lonely howling train whistle. Head’s heavy, hell is consciousness.
There’s this haunting image of a muzzle in my mouth a flex thumb click trigger hammer snap makes spark ignite powder propel fiery lead travels lateral sever brain tissue splinter bone voyages outward and jams into ceiling brings the whole ****** mess along behind it… Then I wonder, “Whose responsibility is it to clean up that mess?? “
You see, wonder is an amusing word because those who wonder are often wanderers and those who wander are quite often the most wondrous of all!! No home no family no job; these things are what tie us to the altar just to get burned as a sacrifice to the ol’ gods of our consummate culture. Someone lights that quick fire below and ******* skin starts to boil and boil and boil I’ve heard burning flesh stinks but I’ll probably never smell it because by the time the fire dies everything else has also burned.
Tell me, what is it that makes your heartbeat double?
Is it the power that makes the grass stretch sunward or sun shimmer gold? For me, it’s her pupils as I wonder what thought might cause her fragile paper hands to shake and her clearest river eyes to water, it’s the gaunt glowing of her gaze that prompt the pen in my hand to glide at 300mph at 3:00am because I cannot cry about her anymore but this pen dares to shed endless tears of red ink all over the page all night old night bitter wind howls through this ancient, ancient oak but its felt worse wind before.
Listen, I’m lost, and I think I’ve finally lost. I lost. I lost, okay? I ******* admit it. Her empty smile now symbolizes something that spits stinging poison. Pour through my blood freeze heartbeat spasm uncontrollable spiral downward darkness hits hard hefty heaving heaven… hello ello ello llo lo o? (How boldly my inspired voice echoes unimpeded in the Cave of Madness!)
Now I’m alone except for lonely howling train whistle. Head’s heavy, hell is consciousness.
