The "ifs" are all racing across my mind
It's all I can see, I'm walking 'round blind
I can only wish that I went back to then
To the past, and to where it had all began.

I remember

I remember having my teacher punish me every day
But it didn't matter, we would all be there silently going "heyy"
We'd do everything together, distance big or small
We'd always beg our parents to let us go out to the mall

Relaxing, having fun, all seems so far away
Now that reality's sunk in, all our joy is now delayed
Who knows for how long, now that we've stopped talking
I never expected it to end this way, it is beyond shocking

I try to move on, to try and make new friends
But then after a week or so, I was met with all dead ends
No one would talk to me, the way you guys did
So I sought you out, but of course, God forbid

Happiness is now a dream that's never meant to come true
I don't even have enough friends for a table of two
One would be empty, filled with thorns and vines
With no one willing to risk treading on this field with mines

I may always seem open, but I hide my feelings deep
Because I never want to be again, the one and only black sheep
The differences become wide, people start drifting again
But friends aren't the only things of which that I abstain

It's not the food I miss, just the sharing of it
We switched all the time, emptying the containers bit by bit
Laughing and talking with our mouth wide open with food
But it didn't matter, all that did was that our lives were good

I also miss, the bonds that we shared
So close, with our weird antics that people had often stared
I remember the crazy stunts we once did
Holding hands laughing, gigling, annoying that one kid

Now I'm all lost I don't know where to go
With no goal in mind, not without the flow
I've got no reason, to keep going on this way
"So maybe it'll finally end," I think, as I start a new day