There was a man who wanted a lady
But he didn't want one who is all ******
He thought and pondered
Which one, he wondered
Would be a good fit for me?

Does it take a pretty lassie
To make him call her honey
Or perhaps eyes that are dreamy
To cool him down when he's angry

Maybe a body shaped like a coke bottle
Can make him feel civil and humble
Or does it take a complete *****
To make his heart feel at war

Maybe it takes a total *****
Which chains he'd want to yank
Or perhaps a fuller figure
That might pull his trigger

Does it take a lass who seemed sweet
But turns out, she's a freak in the sheets?
Or maybe he needs a total fox
Whose drinks are always on the rocks

Maybe it takes ample *****
To make him wanna have a *******
Or perhaps a woman with class
Who also has a nice ****

At the end of the day
There's nothing left to say
When the time comes
He'll know to whom he belongs