May 2014
We were so young and our love was so weightless I could feel it's sparkling dew rest on my skin, singing sweet hums into my ear, every time your lips graced the valleys and peaks of my chest.
2. I wish I could have introduced you to my family as the Sun because it was you who gave me light, made me grow, kept me warm, but I told them your name instead and you gripped my fathers hand in a shake. Later when he commented on the nice weather I wanted to tell him that's how my heart felt whenever I was with you but I agreed that the weather was, in fact, very nice.
3. I lost my virginity at your lake house to the soundtrack of nature's calls and the brush of leaves against your bedroom window, I think the universe was singing for our love. You laid next to me that night, your lungs burning for air, and breathlessly told me that I was a cosmic kind of beautiful. I still write that on my wrist sometimes to remind myself of the vibrancy you gave me.
4. Our first fight was the day you were diagnosed. You didn't want me to stay and wait for you to die, but with tear stained cheeks I made a promise that I would love you for a thousand years after you took your last breath. I hope you believed me when I said that, because I've never been surer of anything.
5. I stayed with you your first night in the hospital, not because you were nervous or scared, but because I didn't think I could sleep unless you were next to me, with blood still pumping through your veins.
6. When you started losing your hair I never once believed you were ugly, and even though the blue of your eyes lost it's once luminous shine to me you were a beam of absolute light. I wish I had kept your beanies so that whenever I smell them I'm whirled back into this state of You.
7. Your funeral was mine too, on that early Thursday morning both our hearts stopped beating, they had always been in sync anyways. It was cloudy on your funeral day, the sunlight had gone. I stood there over your coffin, mourning you, and myself. It's selfish, I know. I'm not here anymore, and I just wish that would mean I was with you. But it doesn't.
8. Now whenever anyone asks about my first love I tell them with glossy eyes that it was with the Sun, and he kisses me everyday still when I step into his light.
2. I wish I could have introduced you to my family as the Sun because it was you who gave me light, made me grow, kept me warm, but I told them your name instead and you gripped my fathers hand in a shake. Later when he commented on the nice weather I wanted to tell him that's how my heart felt whenever I was with you but I agreed that the weather was, in fact, very nice.
3. I lost my virginity at your lake house to the soundtrack of nature's calls and the brush of leaves against your bedroom window, I think the universe was singing for our love. You laid next to me that night, your lungs burning for air, and breathlessly told me that I was a cosmic kind of beautiful. I still write that on my wrist sometimes to remind myself of the vibrancy you gave me.
4. Our first fight was the day you were diagnosed. You didn't want me to stay and wait for you to die, but with tear stained cheeks I made a promise that I would love you for a thousand years after you took your last breath. I hope you believed me when I said that, because I've never been surer of anything.
5. I stayed with you your first night in the hospital, not because you were nervous or scared, but because I didn't think I could sleep unless you were next to me, with blood still pumping through your veins.
6. When you started losing your hair I never once believed you were ugly, and even though the blue of your eyes lost it's once luminous shine to me you were a beam of absolute light. I wish I had kept your beanies so that whenever I smell them I'm whirled back into this state of You.
7. Your funeral was mine too, on that early Thursday morning both our hearts stopped beating, they had always been in sync anyways. It was cloudy on your funeral day, the sunlight had gone. I stood there over your coffin, mourning you, and myself. It's selfish, I know. I'm not here anymore, and I just wish that would mean I was with you. But it doesn't.
8. Now whenever anyone asks about my first love I tell them with glossy eyes that it was with the Sun, and he kisses me everyday still when I step into his light.
loosely inspired by tfios
Written by
Clara Miller
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