It is not the buzzing and hissing in my ears throughout the day
Nipping at my heels
Spitting at my feet until I've trampled your name

This poem isn't about the boy who didn't want to stay
No, this is about the aftermath
The finding myself
The "where do I go?"
The "what do I do?"
The "we went fishing in that spot" but "made love in that one too"

I wish I had better words
An easier way to say,
"I am fine. I swear I am fine"
But "no, I'm not okay."